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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 9h

Yankees were a pleasure to hate watch this week 🙏🏻

Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 12h

Is an eldest daughter when the first-born child is a daughter or is it the first daughter of the siblings regardless of where she is in the birth order

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 14h

Trying to explain to my 8-year-old gymnast that I can't do chin ups is so embarrassing. She's like "just pull yourself up?" and I'm like "I can't" and she's like "but just do it? Over and over again?"

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 18h

Was searching my Twitter profile for something I once said about bananas and am honestly astonished by how frequently I used to tweet about bananas.

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 1d

I've been obsessively working on a writing project for the past two weeks, to the point where I have to actively drag myself away from it at times because I love this work so much, and I just fully do not understand people using AI to "create." You're... skipping the fun part? Like what's the POINT?

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 2d

I hope they sent him to rehab. Those withdrawal headaches are no joke.

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 2d

The devil's vitamins??

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 2d

When we were in 7th grade my best friend Val took three Flintstones vitamins at once and I freaked out because I thought she was going to die from that.

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 2d

It's 85° in October but fall is FIGHTING

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 4d

Every time there's a holiday or birthday or Mother's Day and my family asks what I want, I say all I want is one travel coffee mug that belongs to me and only me and nobody else is allowed to take it and immediately lose it. And they're like, "no, something REASONABLE."

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 4d

The correct sport

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 4d

Gotta find the right sport

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 4d

Two grandmothers sat behind me on the sidelines at soccer so I started to scooch over to let them slide forward and they said "No it's ok, we're just here for show. We're going to stay back here and chat."

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 4d

My most dad-coded behavior is that if I see your lefthanded kid playing sports I'll say "ooh a lefty" approvingly.

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 4d

My 5-year-old and her two friends are named Greta, June, and Pippy like they're going to wear big hats and eat scones and knit.

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 5d

Girl is just saying things

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Reposted by Kristen Mulrooney

tom @tomwalker.bsky.social · Jul 17

KOKO THE GORILLA: Koko birkin bag. Practical Koko possession bag
RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag.
KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla
RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense.
KOKO: jealousy professor

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 5d

Took my 8-year-old to her yearly checkup and when the doctor offered a flu shot, she said "The flu isn't even going around, bruh" Yes queen do your OWN research 🫵 jk she got a flu shot

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Reposted by Kristen Mulrooney

Blue sky nice guy @rajandelman.bsky.social · 5d

Breaking: Tilly Norwood has tripped and fallen into a digital woodchipper. Digital blood is everywhere. A digital leg is stuck in the lower branches of a digital tree

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 6d

Told my son the Red Sox lost and he immediately said "Next year." Indoctrination complete.

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 6d

I mixed two different colors of Nyquil, do you think that's ok

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 6d

Taking care of these bad boys for the first time in 2 1/2 months. I hope the eyebrow lady lets me see the wax strips when she's done.

Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · Aug 31

You ever do the thing where you need to get your eyebrows waxed but you wait another few weeks because if you let them get real fucked up they'll look extra good when you actually get them done 🤨

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 6d

Every morning I tell my kids to get ready for school and every morning I am met with confusion as if this is the first time they've ever heard of getting ready for school

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 7d

Thinking about how when I was in labor everyone said "Just breeeeathe, you'll feel better if you breathe" but really what felt better was screaming. Might apply philosophy to regular life?

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 7d

My favorite thing about this is that not scoring a run with bases loaded no outs has been the Red Sox signature move all season. Poetry. Magic.

trick van treat @derek.bike · 7d

good morning to the history makers

a tweet by @OptaSTATS that says:

The Yankees are the first team in MLB postseason history to have the bases loaded with nobody out in the bottom of the 9th but not score a run and lose the game.

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