I'm an example of great vibe but zero personality.

Thank you for your persistence. I appreciate that you exist.

I appreciate you too. Was actually telling another friend just the other day how awesome of a friend you've been for over a decade now. Thank you for the reassurance. Means a lot coming from you.

In the end people will keep choosing each other over me and then tell me I'm fine and it's normal.
Look, I know a pattern when I see one. I'm the common denominator for my own loneliness. I'm already doing everything I can but I just keep ending up here feeling like I don't deserve to be loved.

The tricky part will be affording the classes since it's like a gym and club membership, but I'll want to try and budget it in for sure. I miss being really fit and active and it's not too late for me to get back to that again.

Seasonal depression?
I've been playing Pokemon Go for exercise lately but don't know how long into my Wnter that will last for me.

My self-esteem is better too. I'm believing in my own light again. I'm feeling capable and like I have room for caring for others outside of myself and my own survival. I'm feeling the arms of a community beginning to wrap around me. This is what I've needed and been looking for and I've found it.

Considering that only six months ago I felt insanely lonely and was battling suicidal ideation, this calm feeling of being warmly wanted, both online and off, has been foreign and incredibly welcome. I can clearly point to how they've been there for me, so I believe they are real friends this time.

According to medical professionals, a normal person goes back to work after a day or two. I'm on day 10 and I still feel like shit and couldn't imagine being at work. It's destroying my self esteem and I feel so hopeless.