The "can't cross rivers" part of vampire legends is obviously a translation issue, since it of course refers to oceans.
And Orcas, who are the natural enemies of vampires. That's common knowledge, right?

Not crossing your doorstep without an invitation? Of course they wouldn't!
And they don't have to, because either they own your home anyway or you just recently bought (and therefore, invited) some product into your home that tells them all the interesting things about you on it's own.

The undead part is true too, since they gave up all that's really joyful and fulfilling for the sake of profit long ago and are now dead inside as a result of the loss of community and true, loving care and belonging.

Drinking blood? Quite literally, when all your wealth and commodities are based on other people's suffering and struggle and you absolutely don't give a damn whether one, two or thousands of your worker drones die in the process.

Dass ich noch niemanden geschlagen habe, der sowas erzählt, ist Beweis genug für die Unerschöpflichkeit weiblicher Selbstbeherrschung. ûu