Brian LaRue
@laruminator.bsky.social
I’m in the band Safe Houses
https://linktr.ee/laruminator
https://linktr.ee/laruminator
Everything hits at once, as the old line goes, but hear me out: Everything hits at lunch
November 24, 2025 at 5:39 PM
Everything hits at once, as the old line goes, but hear me out: Everything hits at lunch
I'm less "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer" and more "Keep your friends close and live your life in a way that leads your enemies to develop an intense parasocial relationship w you where you're visible to them but they can only guess what you're actually thinking"
November 7, 2025 at 6:44 PM
I'm less "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer" and more "Keep your friends close and live your life in a way that leads your enemies to develop an intense parasocial relationship w you where you're visible to them but they can only guess what you're actually thinking"
SMITHS FANS: I mean yeah, "separate the art from the artist" and all, but Morrissey still gets *paid* for this music regardless of wh- MORRISSEY: I am now selling all of my rights to The Smiths' music. SMITHS FANS: Oh f nm then
September 4, 2025 at 3:11 PM
SMITHS FANS: I mean yeah, "separate the art from the artist" and all, but Morrissey still gets *paid* for this music regardless of wh- MORRISSEY: I am now selling all of my rights to The Smiths' music. SMITHS FANS: Oh f nm then
No one would say in a romantic moment that their lymph was rushing
August 3, 2025 at 3:14 AM
No one would say in a romantic moment that their lymph was rushing
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is: Never comment on a social post from an actual prominent public figure"
August 1, 2025 at 3:01 PM
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is: Never comment on a social post from an actual prominent public figure"
Overheard from three guys, prob 50-something, sitting in a row in folding chairs on the sidewalk in Queens. Guy #1: “Back in the day, tho.” #2: “Back in the day!” #3: “Aww, BACK in the DAY!”
July 28, 2025 at 9:42 PM
Overheard from three guys, prob 50-something, sitting in a row in folding chairs on the sidewalk in Queens. Guy #1: “Back in the day, tho.” #2: “Back in the day!” #3: “Aww, BACK in the DAY!”
Sometimes I feel like I’m the Carl Barât to my cat’s Pete Doherty
July 25, 2025 at 12:41 AM
Sometimes I feel like I’m the Carl Barât to my cat’s Pete Doherty
Lord, grant me the $10K to take care of what I need, the $10K to take care of what I want, and the extra $10K to not worry so much about whether or not I can tell the difference
July 14, 2025 at 9:25 PM
Lord, grant me the $10K to take care of what I need, the $10K to take care of what I want, and the extra $10K to not worry so much about whether or not I can tell the difference
This site still feels kinda weird, but I really like how the only people I'm following here are people who obviously read books
July 4, 2025 at 4:14 PM
This site still feels kinda weird, but I really like how the only people I'm following here are people who obviously read books
Idk, maybe deluging an entire generation with mass media messages about how it's very cool and advanced to not give a shit about anything was a terrible idea or something
July 4, 2025 at 3:23 PM
Idk, maybe deluging an entire generation with mass media messages about how it's very cool and advanced to not give a shit about anything was a terrible idea or something
I've found that if you're talking abt real issues w a person who's constantly wrong & utterly unaware of their blind spots: It helps to start a response with "Well, I'm a total [political, geopolitical, economic, etc.] idiot, but...," bc they'll be more receptive bc they'll mistake this for flattery
June 23, 2025 at 6:33 PM
I've found that if you're talking abt real issues w a person who's constantly wrong & utterly unaware of their blind spots: It helps to start a response with "Well, I'm a total [political, geopolitical, economic, etc.] idiot, but...," bc they'll be more receptive bc they'll mistake this for flattery
Went out to dinner w B. last night, at some point said "When Brian Wilson died, that was the most my dad has texted with me in a single day in my entire adult LIFE," woman at the next table spins around and says "OMG SAME"
June 14, 2025 at 2:51 PM
Went out to dinner w B. last night, at some point said "When Brian Wilson died, that was the most my dad has texted with me in a single day in my entire adult LIFE," woman at the next table spins around and says "OMG SAME"
Hey was I ever in Titus Andronicus? Was I ever supposed to be? Is there a database for this or
June 1, 2025 at 8:34 PM
Hey was I ever in Titus Andronicus? Was I ever supposed to be? Is there a database for this or
Hey idk who needs to hear this, but if you ever meet a person who describes themselves as "pretty laid-back" or "cool and collected" -- RUN, keep running, don't stop, no legitimately laid-back person says this about themselves
May 31, 2025 at 8:12 PM
Hey idk who needs to hear this, but if you ever meet a person who describes themselves as "pretty laid-back" or "cool and collected" -- RUN, keep running, don't stop, no legitimately laid-back person says this about themselves
New Study Shows Friends Who Are Entirely Off Socials and Request Personal Text or Email to Tell Them What You're Planning May Not Be as Good at Processing and Retaining One-Time Updates as They Might Think
May 28, 2025 at 1:01 PM
New Study Shows Friends Who Are Entirely Off Socials and Request Personal Text or Email to Tell Them What You're Planning May Not Be as Good at Processing and Retaining One-Time Updates as They Might Think
Thrilled to announce that due to demand, my side business explaining elements of Catholicism to people who didn't grow up in the Church is no longer a cash-only business, but will also accept "interesting trades"
May 9, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Thrilled to announce that due to demand, my side business explaining elements of Catholicism to people who didn't grow up in the Church is no longer a cash-only business, but will also accept "interesting trades"
Overheard outside a bar in Ridgewood QNS: “It’s not that I don’t love the furries. It’s just that they’re not *doing* anything”
May 3, 2025 at 6:01 AM
Overheard outside a bar in Ridgewood QNS: “It’s not that I don’t love the furries. It’s just that they’re not *doing* anything”
Cool Youth Pastor (pulls up chair, sits in it backwards): "Y'know... I can think of someone *else* who stayed up all night talking about right and wrong..." [SPOILER: It's Coke Jesus. Youth pastor has been going through some stuff]
April 1, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Cool Youth Pastor (pulls up chair, sits in it backwards): "Y'know... I can think of someone *else* who stayed up all night talking about right and wrong..." [SPOILER: It's Coke Jesus. Youth pastor has been going through some stuff]
When you're setting up onstage and the sound person has a lamp strapped to their forehead, you know you're in for a) the best onstage sound available in this ZIP code, b) some serious absolute bs, c) both
March 24, 2025 at 6:03 PM
When you're setting up onstage and the sound person has a lamp strapped to their forehead, you know you're in for a) the best onstage sound available in this ZIP code, b) some serious absolute bs, c) both
🎶 🎶 I've been cheeeated, been mistreeeated -- when can I retiiiiiiiiiiiiiire 🎶 🎶
February 28, 2025 at 2:31 PM
🎶 🎶 I've been cheeeated, been mistreeeated -- when can I retiiiiiiiiiiiiiire 🎶 🎶
🎶 🎶 Christmastime is heeeere/ Now I’ve got the feeeear/ I’ve been in a k-hole and it really feels seveeeeeeeeeere 🎶 🎶
December 22, 2024 at 10:58 PM
🎶 🎶 Christmastime is heeeere/ Now I’ve got the feeeear/ I’ve been in a k-hole and it really feels seveeeeeeeeeere 🎶 🎶
I try to go deep into Adam & the Ants and every song is like [incredibly badass multi-tracked drumbeat] and then [guitar lick that's both super-twangy and heavy as hell] and then Adam comes in w "🎶Everybody knooooows my coat looks fuckin flyyyy🎶" and he I remember he does that on like EVery song
November 29, 2024 at 8:30 PM
I try to go deep into Adam & the Ants and every song is like [incredibly badass multi-tracked drumbeat] and then [guitar lick that's both super-twangy and heavy as hell] and then Adam comes in w "🎶Everybody knooooows my coat looks fuckin flyyyy🎶" and he I remember he does that on like EVery song
I am unstructured sediment, and I need cash now
November 28, 2024 at 8:31 PM
I am unstructured sediment, and I need cash now
At first I was afraid, I was petrified / And after that was even more afraid and petrified
August 28, 2024 at 4:39 PM
At first I was afraid, I was petrified / And after that was even more afraid and petrified
“I don’t f around,” I just said, realizing full well that in reality I’ve spent years, cumulatively, f’ing around
August 23, 2024 at 2:29 PM
“I don’t f around,” I just said, realizing full well that in reality I’ve spent years, cumulatively, f’ing around