Louise Atkinson
@latkinson.bsky.social
Comedian. Hullian. Googly eyes enthusiast-ian
we left out a mince pie and a brandy for Santa, and I really hope the neighbours were balancing things out with a black coffee and some toast. Because looking back, I’m suddenly worried that we were enabling Santa’s drink-driving and I don't want santa to be using a reindeers arse as an air bag.
December 10, 2025 at 4:10 PM
we left out a mince pie and a brandy for Santa, and I really hope the neighbours were balancing things out with a black coffee and some toast. Because looking back, I’m suddenly worried that we were enabling Santa’s drink-driving and I don't want santa to be using a reindeers arse as an air bag.
Thought for the day...
What bread is to soup, is what biscuits are to tea.
Therefore, a modest dunk of bread in a mug of soup is perfectly normal, so by the same logic, it should be entirely acceptable to enjoy a bowl of tea and dunk in the biscuit equivalent of an entire loaf of bread.
What bread is to soup, is what biscuits are to tea.
Therefore, a modest dunk of bread in a mug of soup is perfectly normal, so by the same logic, it should be entirely acceptable to enjoy a bowl of tea and dunk in the biscuit equivalent of an entire loaf of bread.
December 7, 2025 at 11:03 AM
Thought for the day...
What bread is to soup, is what biscuits are to tea.
Therefore, a modest dunk of bread in a mug of soup is perfectly normal, so by the same logic, it should be entirely acceptable to enjoy a bowl of tea and dunk in the biscuit equivalent of an entire loaf of bread.
What bread is to soup, is what biscuits are to tea.
Therefore, a modest dunk of bread in a mug of soup is perfectly normal, so by the same logic, it should be entirely acceptable to enjoy a bowl of tea and dunk in the biscuit equivalent of an entire loaf of bread.
This sounds like a scene an improv group would make up at the Edinburgh Fringe
December 6, 2025 at 5:40 PM
This sounds like a scene an improv group would make up at the Edinburgh Fringe
watching a Hallmark Christmas movie where the heroine has to invent a new scent before Christmas, as her last one got rejected because *checks notes* the executive who tested it said it smelled like pine, which triggers her PTSD from when she got trapped as a child… in the pine section of an IKEA.
December 5, 2025 at 7:09 PM
watching a Hallmark Christmas movie where the heroine has to invent a new scent before Christmas, as her last one got rejected because *checks notes* the executive who tested it said it smelled like pine, which triggers her PTSD from when she got trapped as a child… in the pine section of an IKEA.
Genuine question, with gingerbread houses...when do you eat them? Because leaving them out surely they will go stale after a few days. So do you make it and then eat it immediately? Just let it go stale? Build 2 identical houses; one for display, one for eating? A timeline would be great.
December 3, 2025 at 10:57 AM
Genuine question, with gingerbread houses...when do you eat them? Because leaving them out surely they will go stale after a few days. So do you make it and then eat it immediately? Just let it go stale? Build 2 identical houses; one for display, one for eating? A timeline would be great.
Joined a meeting with a German company today. 3 of us hopped on early, I tried to spark some small talk, and 1 guy just says:
“Well, we can use this time to conduct email admin.”
Then immediately mutes himself.
Peak efficiency. Zero chit-chat. German engineering in meetings. 10/10
“Well, we can use this time to conduct email admin.”
Then immediately mutes himself.
Peak efficiency. Zero chit-chat. German engineering in meetings. 10/10
December 1, 2025 at 12:31 PM
Joined a meeting with a German company today. 3 of us hopped on early, I tried to spark some small talk, and 1 guy just says:
“Well, we can use this time to conduct email admin.”
Then immediately mutes himself.
Peak efficiency. Zero chit-chat. German engineering in meetings. 10/10
“Well, we can use this time to conduct email admin.”
Then immediately mutes himself.
Peak efficiency. Zero chit-chat. German engineering in meetings. 10/10
"What will you be dressing up as for the xmas party?"
Me:
Me:
November 27, 2025 at 5:03 PM
"What will you be dressing up as for the xmas party?"
Me:
Me:
I think tables 1 and 4 pushed together and table 3 near by. Happy for table 2 to be by the toilets or something.
November 25, 2025 at 7:50 PM
I think tables 1 and 4 pushed together and table 3 near by. Happy for table 2 to be by the toilets or something.
people saying its that time of year when we hate Alan Rickman for breaking Emma Thompson’s heart. But don’t forget it’s ALSO the season where we all wish we were dating Jack Black in The Holiday and lived in a remote cottage in Surrey, where we just sit and drink wine and read books all xmas.
November 24, 2025 at 3:20 PM
people saying its that time of year when we hate Alan Rickman for breaking Emma Thompson’s heart. But don’t forget it’s ALSO the season where we all wish we were dating Jack Black in The Holiday and lived in a remote cottage in Surrey, where we just sit and drink wine and read books all xmas.
Feel we need to update the 'you've won a beauty contest' card in Monopoly before Christmas.
More 2025 would be:
Congratulations! You’ve won the ‘Sitting in your pants watching Netflix the longest, with a bit of cheese down your front’ contest.
More realistic and, frankly, a far greater achievement.
More 2025 would be:
Congratulations! You’ve won the ‘Sitting in your pants watching Netflix the longest, with a bit of cheese down your front’ contest.
More realistic and, frankly, a far greater achievement.
November 19, 2025 at 12:22 PM
Feel we need to update the 'you've won a beauty contest' card in Monopoly before Christmas.
More 2025 would be:
Congratulations! You’ve won the ‘Sitting in your pants watching Netflix the longest, with a bit of cheese down your front’ contest.
More realistic and, frankly, a far greater achievement.
More 2025 would be:
Congratulations! You’ve won the ‘Sitting in your pants watching Netflix the longest, with a bit of cheese down your front’ contest.
More realistic and, frankly, a far greater achievement.
A mince pie, brioche style wrap. It's a no from me. The best way I can describe it is it tastes like a poundland shop at Christmas. No thank you.
November 18, 2025 at 5:52 PM
A mince pie, brioche style wrap. It's a no from me. The best way I can describe it is it tastes like a poundland shop at Christmas. No thank you.
If method actors must live in character 24/7, can one of them please play a billionaire philanthropist next? Build us all something. Or just give us all a little cash. Or even just some nice cheese. Cheese would be good.
November 18, 2025 at 11:20 AM
If method actors must live in character 24/7, can one of them please play a billionaire philanthropist next? Build us all something. Or just give us all a little cash. Or even just some nice cheese. Cheese would be good.
“I shall treat myself,” I said, cheerfully, purchasing a new top. Wears once and looks at label: 'hand-wash only'. Oh sure, let me just time-travel to 1892 and fetch my mangle. No thanks. I’ve got cheese to eat and television to judge. State of it.
November 12, 2025 at 11:49 AM
“I shall treat myself,” I said, cheerfully, purchasing a new top. Wears once and looks at label: 'hand-wash only'. Oh sure, let me just time-travel to 1892 and fetch my mangle. No thanks. I’ve got cheese to eat and television to judge. State of it.
Who do you think has the greatest love story?
Others: Anthony & Cleopatra. Napoleon & Josephine. Elizabeth Bennett & Mr Darcy
Me: probably these guys....
Others: Anthony & Cleopatra. Napoleon & Josephine. Elizabeth Bennett & Mr Darcy
Me: probably these guys....
November 7, 2025 at 12:38 PM
Who do you think has the greatest love story?
Others: Anthony & Cleopatra. Napoleon & Josephine. Elizabeth Bennett & Mr Darcy
Me: probably these guys....
Others: Anthony & Cleopatra. Napoleon & Josephine. Elizabeth Bennett & Mr Darcy
Me: probably these guys....
Somewhere between my 20s and 30s, “shots” stopped being sambuca and started being kombucha.I was killing off bacteria with alcohol and now I’m cultivating them with some vinegar. I’ve gone from toxic to probiotic.
November 5, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Somewhere between my 20s and 30s, “shots” stopped being sambuca and started being kombucha.I was killing off bacteria with alcohol and now I’m cultivating them with some vinegar. I’ve gone from toxic to probiotic.
Trick or treating but for adults and instead of sweets it's tiny bottles of alcohol and ibuprofen
October 26, 2025 at 10:46 AM
Trick or treating but for adults and instead of sweets it's tiny bottles of alcohol and ibuprofen
Flake are apparently replacing éclairs in the Cadburys Heroes box. Which I believe means the new Cadbury Heroes tier system is as follows....
October 24, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Flake are apparently replacing éclairs in the Cadburys Heroes box. Which I believe means the new Cadbury Heroes tier system is as follows....
Footage of the thieves from the recent heist at the louvre has become available....
October 19, 2025 at 7:35 PM
Footage of the thieves from the recent heist at the louvre has become available....
Just told my mate I don’t remember Kisstory being around when we were kids and she goes, “Yeah, that’s because it was just Kiss back then, it wasn’t historical hits, it was current affairs.”
Nothing like realising you’re already rehearsing your care home chat in your 30s.
Nothing like realising you’re already rehearsing your care home chat in your 30s.
October 17, 2025 at 1:05 PM
Just told my mate I don’t remember Kisstory being around when we were kids and she goes, “Yeah, that’s because it was just Kiss back then, it wasn’t historical hits, it was current affairs.”
Nothing like realising you’re already rehearsing your care home chat in your 30s.
Nothing like realising you’re already rehearsing your care home chat in your 30s.
Yesterday, I was one of 81,000 fans at Twickenham Stadium watching the Women’s Rugby World Cup final. The Canadian team, who played brilliantly and even had the tournament’s best player on their squad, had to crowdfund just to make it there. Start 👏 funding 👏 women’s 👏 sport 👏
September 28, 2025 at 8:12 AM
Yesterday, I was one of 81,000 fans at Twickenham Stadium watching the Women’s Rugby World Cup final. The Canadian team, who played brilliantly and even had the tournament’s best player on their squad, had to crowdfund just to make it there. Start 👏 funding 👏 women’s 👏 sport 👏
This man's head seems to double as a mini roundabout
September 27, 2025 at 2:21 PM
This man's head seems to double as a mini roundabout
I'm sorry, why is there not more conversation about the fact that Greggs is opening it's first pub this weekend called 'The Golden Flake Tavern' and on one of its sharing platters it lists a sausage roll as *checks notes* a garnish...
September 25, 2025 at 4:16 PM
I'm sorry, why is there not more conversation about the fact that Greggs is opening it's first pub this weekend called 'The Golden Flake Tavern' and on one of its sharing platters it lists a sausage roll as *checks notes* a garnish...
Part of my ADHD is vocal stimming — I’ll randomly interrupt myself mid-sentence to blurt half a movie quote. If you don’t catch it, you usually back away slowly. My dream? That one day I’ll stim-quote, and someone instantly replies with the other half. My perfect match. An ADHD Cinderella moment.
September 25, 2025 at 9:15 AM
Part of my ADHD is vocal stimming — I’ll randomly interrupt myself mid-sentence to blurt half a movie quote. If you don’t catch it, you usually back away slowly. My dream? That one day I’ll stim-quote, and someone instantly replies with the other half. My perfect match. An ADHD Cinderella moment.
Like so many the phrase of lefty loosey, righty tighty is one of the most useful helpful tips I have ever learned and I wish adulthood came with more of those. Like…
“Left is sweaty, right is regretty” for the thermostat.
"Breif is relief, long is wrong" for office meetings.
This kind of thing
“Left is sweaty, right is regretty” for the thermostat.
"Breif is relief, long is wrong" for office meetings.
This kind of thing
September 23, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Like so many the phrase of lefty loosey, righty tighty is one of the most useful helpful tips I have ever learned and I wish adulthood came with more of those. Like…
“Left is sweaty, right is regretty” for the thermostat.
"Breif is relief, long is wrong" for office meetings.
This kind of thing
“Left is sweaty, right is regretty” for the thermostat.
"Breif is relief, long is wrong" for office meetings.
This kind of thing
Every autumn, pumpkins turn into the Regina George of root vegetables: "I love your latte, where did you get it". They’re everywhere, they’re in everything, and somehow we’ve all just accepted it. Meanwhile, turnips are at the mathletes table waiting for their moment
September 22, 2025 at 11:54 AM
Every autumn, pumpkins turn into the Regina George of root vegetables: "I love your latte, where did you get it". They’re everywhere, they’re in everything, and somehow we’ve all just accepted it. Meanwhile, turnips are at the mathletes table waiting for their moment