I don't think I've ever read a movie review that made me want to see a movie more than this has.

Every time people think they're being clever when they've really just invented a worse version of the public library...

Ah, there's the sound of constant screaming in my mind.

Yum. Last weekend, while I was busy, my husband made toffee chocolate chunk cookies with homemade toffee, which were delicious, but (he says) pretty labor intensive

I know that feeling. I wish I could magic your cake for you

😂🤣

Oh thank goodness. The only thing keeping me from drinking Monster up until now was that it wasn't...

*checks notes*

... dumb enough?

😔

I knew, theoretically, that that kind of nonsense had started. Still, it sucks to see.

It's honestly amazing the lengths a person can go to to avoid using the correct subject for their sentence...

I once found one of those machines in an airport when I badly needed a treat. I was so happy, only to have the cupcake get stuck in the badly-designed dispensing mechanism.

I still don't know whether their cupcakes are any good, but now I associate the brand with disappointment, anyway.

At first, I got caught in the trap of being distracted by how stupid he sounds, but then somebody reminded me that this email is likely answering. a question. from. Jeffrey. Epstein.

And then I felt super ill. Again.