Hey look. The joke understands is finally here

Good idea. Let's do that.

He's losing the argument because the Toaster is incapable of learning in any real sense.

whomst indeed

You can tell phrenologists are all lazy by the shape of their skulls

Totally. That would be ridiculous. Everyone knows you can't influence robots without at least $1 trillion.

straight arguing with a toaster

I have heard you cannot build a robot army without one.

It is 1066. William the conqueror famously brings communism to England.

Speaking for myself, I would be reassured by knowing my pets were being well cared for.

The Hard Men of Gondor, who famously never had to call for aid.

the only reasonable response is to tell them, in whatever language you prefer, to fuck off.

Actually, it's unreasonable for anyone to dictate what language another family speaks in their home.

(It's also entirely possible that I am wrong)

Well, that's the official motto of the game: "If it's not confusing, it's not BaseBall!®"

Near as I can tell, there are between 5 and 7 "bases" (depending how you count) and one ball. The goal is to somehow hit a base with a ball, while the other team defends it with sticks. Different bases have different points, and oddly if you can hit the one you're standing on everyone cheers.