"my hands are small i know"

i want brandi and monica to record a sequel to "the boy is mine" now that it's been 30 years and it's called "no, you take him"

I don't want to brag but today a kid asked my age and I said "what age do I look?" and he said 7. so my skincare regimen is working.

My sister claims she understands that, like tinkerbell, i will die without attention. and yet'

i miss helvetica

being an adult in 2025 involves stuff like finally getting the lab work u need and being like, "you know what, I deserve a treat. i'm going to go visit the tiny graveyard behind the books a million."

i don't trust people who pronounce prosciutto correctly