You shouldn't make decisions on behalf of people without their consent. My abusers never had my consent. We don't have the same values and principles. You shouldn't hide their range of options neither. You shouldn't assume you know what they would choose or options they would make for themselves.

If they can't win fairly that means they knew they weren't strong enough to win in the first place. If they can't say what they did it means they know they're wrong.

I don't want anything or anyone that deals with them. I'll be celibate forever since they want to control my sexuality. Creeps.

P.S. my abusers are liars, cheaters, & thieves. At least one of them is an impulsive liar. They think they're better than me because I'm too "scared & dumb" to do anything to get what I want. I used to be able to say I worked for everything in my life but I know they patronize me now.

I've considered my abusers are under pressure from higher-ups who are also making money off of me. Corporate mobsters? I don't know. If that's true then I hope people can learn from their foolishness & greed.

The world will become better when we calibrate our baseline to kindness & holistic health.

What did I do to deserve this punishment? If this is meant to be gift, it's actually made me worse off in a way that can't be fixed.

If it's a test, then it's flawed & the results don't matter. I can't lead people who can't see how fucked up this is. I can only help by sticking to my principles.

For the past 7 years my actions, words, thoughts, feelings haven't mattered. I've never felt so alone & so unloved. People don't care about how I feel, they only care about how I make them feel. So they lie to themselves that my trauma is worth it, the ends justify the means.

I am impaired.

I grew up psychologically, sexually, physically, emotionally, and verbally abused. I have CPTSD. I don't sleep well because that's when most of my sexual abuse occurred. I forgive and made peace with my childhood abusers. My adulthood abusers won't even admit to their abuse nor talk to me.

If they claim they like to address the hard issues, well they haven't done it with me. They know I can beat them in an argument/debate/conversation. That's why they avoid talking to me face-to-face. It's why they avoid context.

I haven't seen them in years but they affect everything about my life.

People love them because they agree with them: power is about increasing your pleasures in life & minimizing your pain. They find peace boring & seek to cause drama for others & "cutesy" drama for themselves. They micro-dose on sadism and cover it with humor.

I aim for active peace, joy, & truth.