First parsed this as the slightly more pessimistic but plausibly true sentence "If you drink non trivial amounts of alcohol, [that] makes a huge difference to how happy you will be the morning after[,] whether or not you also drink lots of water."

There have apparently been twenty-one popes named John, but the latest one was called John XXIII, so I'm not sure about the analyticity. But maybe kings are not like popes in that regard?