Congrats! Where are you performing?

Oh I have a good IRL community, just trying to figure out how to use this site and what it's for. I also never had a twitter so the format is foreign to me.

Looking at your profile, no it's unlikely we would have productive conversations I feel. Thanks for the offer I know you are being kind.

I often remind myself that I owe no one an explanation for being alive.

This is my safe space from everything happening. 🍄

If you're still having fun, keep getting dirty. Keep making a mess. Keep failing, but fail differently every time. At the very least, you might get new funny stories.

At the most you might get a beautiful flowering lemon tree.

It made me wonder... how many of us allow confining definitions to limit us just because we tie it to a funny story from long ago? Or a traumatic story? How often do we ask ourself why am I REALLY limiting myself from trying this again... especially if I WANT to be good at it and enjoy it?

that interest me because I DO find gardening interesting. I didnt tell myself that I was suddenly this great gardener. I still have plants that die and I still mess up, and I can still laugh about it. What matters is that every time I try, I get a little better just like with any hobby.

So I finally decided to stop defining myself by a funny story. The story isn't bad, I can still tell it to make people laugh, but that doesnt mean I should be shaped by it.

I went all in and got myself a lemon tree, setting aside the concerns of wasting money. I did research and watched videos...

and didnt investigate further. As it turns out, my plants were dying not because I'm a bad gardener, but because I kept buying herbs that only live for a year. EXACTLY as long as I always seemed to be able to keep them alive.

Here I am, a nearly 33 year old woman, being defined by something that happened when I was single digits. I've always envied my friends and people with lush homes full of life and greenery. Heck I even buy plants here and there but when they die I say "well thats because I'm a bad gardener"...

The thing is, I've been telling this story for years. This is why I cant grow plants, when I was a small child this experience taught me failure. And I kept telling the story because it made people laugh. That's why I tell it. The problem is, I've told it so much I've started to define myself by it.

Finally, the day arrived. The strawberry was huge, and my efforts would surly pay off in the sweetest way. I went to pluck the berry... and it collapsed in my fingers. On the plant was the culprit: a snail had sucked my prize dry before I could enjoy it.

I was so angry I threw it into the road.

that I took VERY seriously. After all, strawberries were my favorite. One day, a strawberry finally began to grow. I was ecstatic and checked up on it daily. I couldnt have been more proud of myself and everyday, I looked forward to the moment when the strawberry would be absolutely PERFECT...