I've been putting off doing a deep clean because I've been very ill and because Bella is not well right now and being out of the cage for that long would stress her.
I am super duper bummed. I had all this cute stuff. I felt better easier in the morning now I feel like garbage

Ohhh what's the app name? I'm trying to cut back on spending and get an overview on spending

Hwo does it know what you're spending

Like you buried my dreams even after you promised to help.
I've had so much bad happen recently. It's brought up all my missed dreams. And how I guess I don't actually have friends in the industry that want to help

Like I feel like my life is over and my dreams I had are now over because the horse people are stingy. Like I actually... Like everyone is like this but it's personal when you've bent over backwards.

Like because no one ever had my back

Like I'm about to unfriend my last trainer cause what the fuck

I worked so hard to never be given opportunities or tools.

Never work hard just learn how to ego boost, appease, and take abuse. That's how you get ahead.

Good work is not rewarded.

And it's like I don't have any friends and let me tell you aside from one person everyone I ever worked for was a scammer in that that advertised one thing or promised it and never came to fruition

Like why would I ever even get back into the sport? Like it's become so much worse since I was working and showing.

Definitely. Even if you don't hook it up you wanna plan for later because it's harder to add in stuff later.

Can never have too many scissors

Very few losses have felt better. And no therapy in the world reaches it. I accept it. I cannot escape it. I can only visit living and hope for signs, naively, that there's an after, and that they're still partially with us. I don't move on I walk forward but I leave myself in that place.

Oooo get some sealent it'll keep it pristine 🤩

Someone asked about that barn I flat out told them they don't do fans.

But I'll bet you there's something if not more equally dangerous they do. Because there always is. Rules and procedures are rarely based in facts or science but only in vibes and experience.

they're in the barn which sure you could have a problem within a minute but how many barns across America use them and how many big show barns and you rarely hear about it unless it is their error.

Anyways ppl think their behaviour won't come back to bite them but it does.

AND HAVE A MILLION BATHS A DAY.... like the heat this past summer I wonder what they did that would be inhumane. She said something about a fan causing a fire at another barn. First they don't make fans like they used to and second they make enclosed types third most ppl just have them on when