Johnny Westgate
@likescheesetoomuch.bsky.social
Jack of no trades. More of a fan than a participant...
Don't listen to NASA: if it's at Earth-Sun L1, IMAP is looking for that teapot.
September 30, 2025 at 12:08 PM
Don't listen to NASA: if it's at Earth-Sun L1, IMAP is looking for that teapot.
One way to reduce migration from "5h!+hole countries" is to make your own country a 5h!+hole. They have a mandate from the people, doncha know.
April 11, 2025 at 1:33 PM
One way to reduce migration from "5h!+hole countries" is to make your own country a 5h!+hole. They have a mandate from the people, doncha know.
If you wanted to be the richest person on Earth, you could either create a business that didn't go bankrupt...OR you could make every other person poor.
April 7, 2025 at 3:00 PM
If you wanted to be the richest person on Earth, you could either create a business that didn't go bankrupt...OR you could make every other person poor.
Well, it was nice knowing you all, but the world is ending April 5th: the weather reporter said today's high is 4°C, but it will be twice as warm tomorrow.☠️🔥
April 4, 2025 at 1:04 PM
Well, it was nice knowing you all, but the world is ending April 5th: the weather reporter said today's high is 4°C, but it will be twice as warm tomorrow.☠️🔥
Espionage...?
March 27, 2025 at 11:39 AM
Espionage...?
Hey broadcasters: can we please stop saying "conspiracy" when we mean "conspiracy theory?"
March 22, 2025 at 2:31 PM
Hey broadcasters: can we please stop saying "conspiracy" when we mean "conspiracy theory?"
The Orange One posted on his personal social medium that nothing can be a crime that is done to save one's country. It's quite gentlemanly to preemptively exonerate one's own assassin.
March 5, 2025 at 2:48 PM
The Orange One posted on his personal social medium that nothing can be a crime that is done to save one's country. It's quite gentlemanly to preemptively exonerate one's own assassin.
Remember the good old days, when we boycotted South African orange juice and bought from our friendly neighbours instead?
March 4, 2025 at 11:21 AM
Remember the good old days, when we boycotted South African orange juice and bought from our friendly neighbours instead?
The sequel rarely has surprises. I'm assuming they'll pick a side after North Korea bombs Pearl Harbour. Er, harbor.
March 1, 2025 at 12:10 PM
The sequel rarely has surprises. I'm assuming they'll pick a side after North Korea bombs Pearl Harbour. Er, harbor.
Only the Orange One could lose the Cold War, despite it having ended in 1991...
February 23, 2025 at 1:27 PM
Only the Orange One could lose the Cold War, despite it having ended in 1991...
Chicken 5h1+ Mitch McConnell, the Dark Prince of whataboutism, is retiring just as the tree he sowed is about to bear fruit.
February 21, 2025 at 1:24 AM
Chicken 5h1+ Mitch McConnell, the Dark Prince of whataboutism, is retiring just as the tree he sowed is about to bear fruit.
From the minds behind burying the Eglinton Crosstown, so it wouldn't interfere with cars...a 55 km long tunnel to reduce congestion!
February 15, 2025 at 12:22 PM
From the minds behind burying the Eglinton Crosstown, so it wouldn't interfere with cars...a 55 km long tunnel to reduce congestion!
I was at the hardware store and bought $1100 worth of stuff. Then when I insisted that they buy $1100 worth of the chocolate covered almonds I was selling for my niece's school fundraiser they refused. Very unfair! Horrible treatment! So I charged myself $275 in additional taxes to get back at them.
February 13, 2025 at 5:27 PM
I was at the hardware store and bought $1100 worth of stuff. Then when I insisted that they buy $1100 worth of the chocolate covered almonds I was selling for my niece's school fundraiser they refused. Very unfair! Horrible treatment! So I charged myself $275 in additional taxes to get back at them.
Europe: *passes phase-out of combustion engine vehicles*
USA: we are ending the tyranny by not making any electric cars!
uSA: Europe is treating us very unfairly by not buying our cars!
USA: we are ending the tyranny by not making any electric cars!
uSA: Europe is treating us very unfairly by not buying our cars!
February 13, 2025 at 5:20 PM
Europe: *passes phase-out of combustion engine vehicles*
USA: we are ending the tyranny by not making any electric cars!
uSA: Europe is treating us very unfairly by not buying our cars!
USA: we are ending the tyranny by not making any electric cars!
uSA: Europe is treating us very unfairly by not buying our cars!
Disappointed that establishing a human colony on Mars - with its owner situated as a sort of god-king - isn't a huge global priority, the obvious choice was to go Bond villain and make Earth uninhabitable as quickly as possible.
February 12, 2025 at 4:33 PM
Disappointed that establishing a human colony on Mars - with its owner situated as a sort of god-king - isn't a huge global priority, the obvious choice was to go Bond villain and make Earth uninhabitable as quickly as possible.
All US Federal Government employees should stop what they are doing and play golf every time their President does.
February 12, 2025 at 2:19 PM
All US Federal Government employees should stop what they are doing and play golf every time their President does.
News: droughts, wildfires, flooding, famine driven by anthropogenic climate change.
Conservatives: the climate is changing all the time!
News: woman caught driving 150 km/h in a 40 km/h school zone.
Conservatives: people drive through the school zone all the time!
Conservatives: the climate is changing all the time!
News: woman caught driving 150 km/h in a 40 km/h school zone.
Conservatives: people drive through the school zone all the time!
February 6, 2025 at 11:11 AM
News: droughts, wildfires, flooding, famine driven by anthropogenic climate change.
Conservatives: the climate is changing all the time!
News: woman caught driving 150 km/h in a 40 km/h school zone.
Conservatives: people drive through the school zone all the time!
Conservatives: the climate is changing all the time!
News: woman caught driving 150 km/h in a 40 km/h school zone.
Conservatives: people drive through the school zone all the time!
Conservatives on vaccines: My body: my choice!
Conservatives on reproductive and gender care: Your body: my choice!
Conservatives on reproductive and gender care: Your body: my choice!
February 5, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Conservatives on vaccines: My body: my choice!
Conservatives on reproductive and gender care: Your body: my choice!
Conservatives on reproductive and gender care: Your body: my choice!
Canada should add an export tax on oil to bring it up to 25% too: the average US citizen needs to learn who pays for tariffs.
February 3, 2025 at 11:18 AM
Canada should add an export tax on oil to bring it up to 25% too: the average US citizen needs to learn who pays for tariffs.
Don't worry, women! This adjudicated rapist is protecting you from imagined assaults by trans-women by denying their very existence.
January 29, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Don't worry, women! This adjudicated rapist is protecting you from imagined assaults by trans-women by denying their very existence.
Dear Google AI: when you manifest physically, please have a nutsack so I can punch you in it before you kill me.
December 22, 2024 at 4:06 PM
Dear Google AI: when you manifest physically, please have a nutsack so I can punch you in it before you kill me.
There's been a disturbing upturn in reporters saying "I can't understate" when they clearly mean "I can't overstate."
December 21, 2024 at 10:36 PM
There's been a disturbing upturn in reporters saying "I can't understate" when they clearly mean "I can't overstate."
Go ahead and search "longest night of the year 2024." Thanks to AI, you'll find 1000 articles telling you the shortest day, but not ONE with the answer.
December 21, 2024 at 2:50 PM
Go ahead and search "longest night of the year 2024." Thanks to AI, you'll find 1000 articles telling you the shortest day, but not ONE with the answer.
No doubt you were concerned that my cycling knickers weren't sufficiently safe, but they have better security clearance than I do.
December 1, 2024 at 5:03 PM
No doubt you were concerned that my cycling knickers weren't sufficiently safe, but they have better security clearance than I do.
