The world has really gone to shit since Walmart stopped giving me smiley face stickers at the door.

I'm sorry officer but I can't listen to the Free Bird guitar solo without driving over the speed limit.

As long as guns are easily available to crazy people, mass killings directed at so-called soft targets will continue. This is a fact. Countries where it's more difficult for crazy people to obtain guns have less shootings. This is also a fact. Do with these facts as you will.

You can say "we listen and we do not judge" all you want.

I'm going to judge.

I like to imagine that the worm is Ratatouille-style controlling RFK Jr.

You won't catch me paying almost $1 for a little cup of ranch. @dominos-pizza.bsky.social y'all wild.

Thinking about how triggered conservatives would be if they knew how easy it was to change your neopet's gender.

I've assembled a team of the most horrible perverts and criminals you've ever seen and we're going to fix this country

What if people brought the same energy to funerals that they do to weddings?
"You better not die the same year as me and steal my thunder, it's MY big day."
"If you wear black to my funeral you will be asked to leave"
"It's considered rude to die at someone else's funeral"

Why is Vera Bradley so expensive when it looks cheap and ugly