the boy in the polar express did not deserve to get the first gift of christmas and that’s that on that

using someone else’s shirt to clean your glasses is kinda intimate

eating mandarin oranges out of the fruit cups is kinda like eating lil goldfish

my bf was trying to remember what the constellation ursa major was called and he said “what’s it called? labia majora?”

i love it when there’s a pretty sunset and everyone posts a picture on their story or their feed it’s just so cute we’re all appreciating the sunset together

cats really just look like :3 how great is that

it took me longer than i’d like to admit to realize that pickles are in fact cucumbers

i’m going to kms you’re telling me all this time it was mrs. butter worths and NOT mrs. butterSworth ???? what the fuck

“leave a video response down below,” is such an old sentence.

they should make a microwave with a disco ball inside so it looks like ur food is having a rave

if you were on top your first time you may be entitled to financial compensation

the first time i tried kiwi i was at school and they served it to us sliced with the skin on and i didn’t know you weren’t supposed to eat the skin so i ate the skin and that shit was so scrumptious and now i always eat the kiwi skins

i asked my bf what his favorite song was and he said, “probably hot chocolate by tom hanks.”