omg we were handed the keys to infinite knowledge and all we used it for was to intentionally get more stupid

Adventures with a Partner who isn’t Chronically Online

Him (on the phone): we have two orange cats. Huh? Are they dumb??
Me (quiet gasp): Cody doesn’t know about the one brain-cell

Your opinion on the office means nothing, but if you didn’t like The Good Place? Straight to the bad place.

Someone standing up for others who aren’t represented isn’t an attack on your personhood.

not me watching the Superman trailer over and over to hurt my own feelings because my mom can’t be here to watch it with me

I miss jenna marbles and i hope she’s having the absolute best life possible

dear mr gubermint: I lost my job and dog and mom and dad, please don’t ban the silly dancing app that is literally one of the only things that still bring me joy

therapy is so important and so annoying like all I said was I started wearing a mask again in public because I don’t want people to look at me or perceive me and she wants to ask a lot of follow up questions???