Lucien
lucien11.bsky.social
Lucien
@lucien11.bsky.social
animanga mainly⋆˙⟡learning pixel art
CR📖: mdzs, wfmas
It should be noted this book is based in a very sexist era hence ehmm the man hate
December 27, 2024 at 5:14 PM
From alien stage
December 27, 2024 at 5:09 PM
Kinda looks like Till
December 27, 2024 at 5:09 PM
I don’t want to be a boy.
I already am.
And the world will do anything to stop you.
“I think it just takes some boys longer than others to figure it out,” I say.
December 27, 2024 at 5:04 PM
languishing over bizarre stories of “female husbands” and cross-dressing. I remember desperately wishing to be something other than what I was.—
December 27, 2024 at 5:04 PM
I remember the feeling in my stomach whenever my family passed advertisements for performances at the West End Theatre, showing women dressed as men. I remember Father’s newspapers—the sensationalist ones he bought for fun on the weekends—
December 27, 2024 at 5:03 PM
“You want to be a boy?” Charlotte says. Her tone is inscrutable.
For a moment, I almost say yes. But the wording isn’t quite right. There’s a difference.—
December 27, 2024 at 5:01 PM
To separate how you are seen from who you are sometimes feels nigh impossible
December 27, 2024 at 4:59 PM
,because the world will always do its damnedest to see me as one of them. As long as we are seen the same, we will experience the same. Our lives will be linked. I will be held to the same unfair standards, punished under the same unjust rules.—
December 27, 2024 at 4:59 PM
Acknowledging this has made my life almost bearable; it’s taken a terrible weight off my shoulders, given me an answer for why I feel the way I do. But I still connect with women. I find companionship with them, closeness that cannot be denied—
December 27, 2024 at 4:57 PM
A strange thing about being a boy like me is how difficult it is to untangle the truth of yourself from the world’s perception of you. Because, yes, I am a boy. I am just as much a man as my father and brother, just a different kind. —
December 27, 2024 at 4:55 PM
We are the same species. We’re all human. It’s not that people cannot understand me; it’s simply that most of them don’t want to.
December 27, 2024 at 4:54 PM
I have to keep reminding myself that I’m a boy. It’s almost easy to forget that here. To slip back into the oblivion of just accepting I am what everyone thinks I am.
If you have to keep reminding yourself, are you really?
December 27, 2024 at 4:53 PM
I don’t want to take her apart in the way most men would want to disassemble a woman. Not for any sort of power or hunger. I want to be close, and I don’t know how to be close unless I’m elbow-deep in innards.
December 27, 2024 at 4:53 PM
Yes, I could love a man if I ever found one who accepts me as I am, and I’ve dreamed of being so lucky—but I love women too. I love women as men are expected to, but the way only one who has ever experienced womanhood can.
December 27, 2024 at 4:52 PM
It should be noted that I do not define my manhood through my love of women. There are lots of men who do so: their hunger to dominate feminine things, their power over their wives and daughters, are the building blocks of their maleness. That is not me.—
December 27, 2024 at 4:51 PM
I want to take myself apart into something else, and if I cannot do that, I want to destroy every part of it that could ever be used against me. And if that is my eyes, or my womb, or all of it
December 27, 2024 at 4:49 PM
It is only when I step back to see it all through another’s eyes that I want to unravel it and carve the meat into a new, different, more acceptable shape. The only thing that will ever matter is how others see you. —
December 27, 2024 at 4:49 PM