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Luke Kennard

@lukekennard.bsky.social

1.8K followers 660 following 1K posts

Novelist, poet, lecturer at University of Birmingham.

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Luke Kennard @lukekennard.bsky.social · 23d

Reminder that my new poetry collection (my SEVENTH because I apparently cannot take a hint) is available from Picador www.panmacmillan.com/authors/luke...

A big superimposed copy of Luke’s book, The Book of Jonah, “emerges” from the sea.

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Luke Kennard @lukekennard.bsky.social · 8h

I’ve come up with an idea for a website that *doesn’t* use cookies, but it still has a big pop-up thing where you have to click a button that says THANKS SO MUCH. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR NOT USING COOKIES.

Luke Kennard @lukekennard.bsky.social · 16h

“Oh it’s because your literal job is to be audibly / visibly wrong and stink up my day!”

Luke Kennard @lukekennard.bsky.social · 16h

It’s always worth asking, “Wait, why can I even hear you?”

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Luke Kennard @lukekennard.bsky.social · 16h

An act of almost superhuman largesse, magnanimity and forbearance; Christ would have struggled

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Luke Kennard @lukekennard.bsky.social · 16h

It’s always a challenge to have any respect for the opinions of a professional opinion-haver - on anything, but particularly re. jobs

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Luke Kennard @lukekennard.bsky.social · 17h

When the junk folder is empty on the Outlook app it shows you this which looks vaguely reminiscent of a toilet and I don’t like it

Luke Kennard @lukekennard.bsky.social · 1d

God I miss Dawn Foster

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Luke Kennard @lukekennard.bsky.social · 1d

I do remember creating the line “mad little winter penis” on my friend’s parents’ fridge, on which I suppose they must have had both the base kit and the ‘erotic’ one.

Luke Kennard @lukekennard.bsky.social · 1d

Q.
A. Thank you for asking, yeah - I got the idea when I was buying £10 worth of Robux for my kid and I thought, ‘There *has* to be some way of applying this to poetry.’
Q.
A. No, it didn’t work at all, no.

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Reposted by Luke Kennard

Moby Dick @mobydickatsea.bsky.social · 1d

Heaven have mercy on us all—Presbyterians and Pagans alike—for we are all somehow dreadfully cracked about the head, and sadly need mending

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Luke Kennard @lukekennard.bsky.social · 1d

At the end George Internet would realise that there’s more to life than the internet.

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Luke Kennard @lukekennard.bsky.social · 1d

“Let’s do a real deep dive into why that is”

Luke Kennard @lukekennard.bsky.social · 1d

this is a little video to promote a bigger video of me with some headphones

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Luke Kennard @lukekennard.bsky.social · 1d

What is *up*, guys

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Luke Kennard @lukekennard.bsky.social · 1d

If Mary Poppins was set today the father would have been called George Internet

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Luke Kennard @lukekennard.bsky.social · 1d

Yes. ‘I think what you mean is I should start a podcast.’

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Luke Kennard @lukekennard.bsky.social · 1d

It’s maybe the last remaining place that an artist / writer / maker of Fimo miniatures has a hope of reaching an audience and it is so completely terrible.

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Luke Kennard @lukekennard.bsky.social · 1d

I know this is algorithmically determined, but for me most of the recommended accounts are of the genre ‘funny things people said up to ten years ago on other platforms when social media still basically functioned’

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Luke Kennard @lukekennard.bsky.social · 1d

Instagram is an incredibly linear experience and 75% of the posts in your stream are “recommended” accounts for you to follow rather than posts by the people you actually follow, which is much worse than ads.

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Luke Kennard @lukekennard.bsky.social · 1d

Too Gavin Too Stacey: Tokyo Drift

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Luke Kennard @lukekennard.bsky.social · 2d

Wait, Theo Von is real? I thought someone made up the name as a joke. Theo De La. Theo St. Theo Mc. Theo Nothingson.

Luke Kennard @lukekennard.bsky.social · 2d

If I got really sick and they were all, ‘Can we photograph the inside of your mouth as a warning to others about the dangers of nicotine pouches?’ I’d be like, Absolutely not, no, ask the next guy.

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Luke Kennard @lukekennard.bsky.social · 2d

You now it’s term time when you have to make a “while my kid is at boxing” To Do list

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Luke Kennard @lukekennard.bsky.social · 2d

“This Ain’t My First Brodie-o”

Luke Kennard @lukekennard.bsky.social · 3d

It’s all dead, and Substack is like the people who still lived in fake “Roman” cities after the fall of the empire while the rest of us went back to our forests wattle-and-daubs.