Judge: "I order you to pay $10,000."
Mario: "Why?"
Judge: "It’s a fine."
Mario: "No itsa not!"
Mario: "Why?"
Judge: "It’s a fine."
Mario: "No itsa not!"
April 14, 2025 at 1:09 PM
Judge: "I order you to pay $10,000."
Mario: "Why?"
Judge: "It’s a fine."
Mario: "No itsa not!"
Mario: "Why?"
Judge: "It’s a fine."
Mario: "No itsa not!"
Yesterday, I was washing the car with my son.
He said: “Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?”
He said: “Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?”
April 10, 2025 at 2:57 PM
Yesterday, I was washing the car with my son.
He said: “Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?”
He said: “Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?”
I’ll break into your house just to install carpet in your bathrooms… IDGAF
April 7, 2025 at 3:19 PM
I’ll break into your house just to install carpet in your bathrooms… IDGAF
Say what you like, but Richie on The Bear has one of the best character arcs… it is so damn good.
February 8, 2025 at 4:22 AM
Say what you like, but Richie on The Bear has one of the best character arcs… it is so damn good.
Reposted by Lurpee
Love this...
“All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.” Walt Disney
“All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.” Walt Disney
January 17, 2025 at 11:36 PM
Love this...
“All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.” Walt Disney
“All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.” Walt Disney
Me: “I’m a grown ass man with responsibilities”
Also me: “My Apple Watch makes me feel like Dick Tracy or Inspector Gadget”
Also me: “My Apple Watch makes me feel like Dick Tracy or Inspector Gadget”
January 17, 2025 at 11:44 PM
Me: “I’m a grown ass man with responsibilities”
Also me: “My Apple Watch makes me feel like Dick Tracy or Inspector Gadget”
Also me: “My Apple Watch makes me feel like Dick Tracy or Inspector Gadget”
“Starting a slow clap helps me poop”
- me flirting
- me flirting
January 17, 2025 at 11:33 PM
“Starting a slow clap helps me poop”
- me flirting
- me flirting
Me: *almost never breaks the law
Also me: *keeps garbage can in the garage so the police would need a warrant to search it.
Also me: *keeps garbage can in the garage so the police would need a warrant to search it.
January 17, 2025 at 11:26 PM
Me: *almost never breaks the law
Also me: *keeps garbage can in the garage so the police would need a warrant to search it.
Also me: *keeps garbage can in the garage so the police would need a warrant to search it.
I’m all about capitalism… until someone else makes bacon. Then I’m a Communist and this is now community bacon.
Your country thanks you.
Your country thanks you.
January 17, 2025 at 11:18 PM
I’m all about capitalism… until someone else makes bacon. Then I’m a Communist and this is now community bacon.
Your country thanks you.
Your country thanks you.
The problem with insomnia:
8am: Too tired to think.
Noon: Too tired to think.
5pm: Too tired to think.
Midnight: How do dragons blow out candles?
8am: Too tired to think.
Noon: Too tired to think.
5pm: Too tired to think.
Midnight: How do dragons blow out candles?
January 17, 2025 at 11:18 PM
The problem with insomnia:
8am: Too tired to think.
Noon: Too tired to think.
5pm: Too tired to think.
Midnight: How do dragons blow out candles?
8am: Too tired to think.
Noon: Too tired to think.
5pm: Too tired to think.
Midnight: How do dragons blow out candles?
There are few things in life that will bring you the same joy as crop dusting a Bath & Body Works.
January 17, 2025 at 11:16 PM
There are few things in life that will bring you the same joy as crop dusting a Bath & Body Works.
Coders: causing rackets in the {}
January 17, 2025 at 11:14 PM
Coders: causing rackets in the {}
Just a heads-up, if aliens ever approach me and ask to see our leader… I’m taking them to see Jon Stewart
January 17, 2025 at 11:13 PM
Just a heads-up, if aliens ever approach me and ask to see our leader… I’m taking them to see Jon Stewart
I was not prepared for how many chapsticks I would own as an adult.
January 17, 2025 at 11:11 PM
I was not prepared for how many chapsticks I would own as an adult.
I’m at an age where I have to remind myself that I’m talking to myself too loudly.
January 17, 2025 at 11:08 PM
I’m at an age where I have to remind myself that I’m talking to myself too loudly.
Reposted by Lurpee
Free Advice
January 17, 2025 at 10:57 PM
Free Advice
Buying a bunch of stock in VPNs… about to be rich, y’all!!
January 17, 2025 at 10:39 PM
Buying a bunch of stock in VPNs… about to be rich, y’all!!