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Lyndon Baines Johnson

@lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social

3.8K followers 180 following 2.1K posts

This account is a parody. Label applied on the advice of Abe Fortas, Esq. Due to ongoing disputes with management, all messages here are reviewed by Fortas and Associates LLP before posting. FAQ: https://tinyurl.com/bdfw9kwf

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · Aug 4

Actually, as the first talk of college football begins, we've done you the service of updating our guide to Texas college football, who you are allowed to root for, and whom you're obligated to root against. -OS

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 9h

Besides, Cornyn was totally fucked before Wesley Hunt jumped in.

Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 10h

The NRSC just has no grounds whatsoever to be upset with Wesley Hunt. Take it up with the Texas Lege. They took the one Black Republican in the caucus out of Houston and would've made him stand for a primary with the White Man's Union of Tomball.

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 4d

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 7d

Those little old Texas ladies are like the craftsman-built bungalos in the Houston Heights. One of a kind and timeless. -OS

Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 7d

G'mar chatima tovah. -OS

Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 7d

As we gear up for atonement, we'll leave you, dear readers, with this thought till next sundown -- if we are the people of the book. Who define ourself by the laws, and the humility to submit to them, then Israel itself and its enablers have forsaken the book. -OS

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 8d

You know the Nazis also liked to grease men up or stuff them into Hugo Boss and circle jerk over it.

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 8d

The late Senator Daniel Inouye, whom I thought Hubert Humphrey should've made his running mate, would want to dump these people like Hegseth and Noem off an aircraft carrier into the middle of the Pacific.

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 8d

The only thing I got from that bizarre speech is that I think Hegseth jerks it to dudes.

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 9d

Our new joke for this academic year is that if you turned in an assignment that is very obviously 100% AI generated, we just pop your assignment into Chat GPT and have it generate your feedback. Robots get robot grading, human's will get the human. -OS

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 14d

They're also hooked into this world because they are the sellers of the "Republican lifestyle." There isn't much margin for them in selling $30K sedans to "soyboy" liberals. Their margin is found in selling a $90K Raptor truck to a cop on $0 down note. -OS

Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 14d

And they've long been very reactionary and heavily Republican because it just speaks to their identities. They're "job creators," the put-upon local big wig who sees all these huge and "vaguely" liberal market forces working against them and their interests. -OS

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 14d

The owners of car dealerships are and long have been (since the 1960s) one of the most politically activated groups of "small business" owners in the US because their whole world depends upon this web of state and federal statutes and regulations that restrict manufacturers from direct sales.

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 15d

Its a movement where the people in office would get the shit knocked out of 'em by the people who voted for them if they ever crossed paths in a bar restroom.

The Daily Beast @thedailybeast.bsky.social · 15d

Katie Miller joked about her husband being a “sexual matador” in an interview with Jesse Watters.

Stephen Miller's Wife Drops Cringe-Inducing Sexual Brag

Katie Miller joked about her husband being a “sexual matador” in an interview with Jesse Watters.

trib.al

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 15d

You get the era of the independent director and producer vetting their own scripts, financing their own shoots, and then shopping their movies to the studios (who've been reduced to mere distributors) precisely because the studios cowtowed to conservative jackals. -OS

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 15d

Its funny, because we met with our grad students tonight to talk about a few books on HUAC, the Hollywood 10, and the Blacklist, the lesson of which was that the studios' caving to J. Parnell Thomas lead inevitably to studio system's collapse. Couldn't have been more timely. -OS

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 15d

And that just like Thomas they're all crooks, but Thomas actually saw the inside of a jail cell. -OS

Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 15d

The only difference in this moment is that J. Parnell Thomas controls the White House and the FCC, and not just HUAC. -OS

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 15d

The parallels between this moment and the first time Republicans got congress back in a generation in 1947 are just too obvious to ignore -OS

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 15d

I think that its an incredible demonstration of the hamfistedness of this administration that you've turned the guy who did the Man Show into Dalton Trumbo.

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 15d

It's the classic George Wallace cop out. Hey, I'm just saying the things that everyone agrees with but are too chicken shit to say... -OS

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 15d

One of our particular state colleges just rolled out this expensive new set of promotional materials that is very obviously 100% chat GPT generated. What's the point? -OS

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 15d

Its like being the last human left in the invasion of the pod people. -OS

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 15d

Being a humanities professor at state college is playing an endless game of wack-a-mole with the students below you, trying to discourage them from outsourcing their brains to Chat GPT while everyone above you in the Deans' and provosts' offices are outsourcing their brains to Chat GPT. -OS

Eric Gordy @ericgordy.bsky.social · 16d

University administrations are into promoting AI because, like them, it does a bad job at a high price.

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 16d

Oh, this is our jam. -OS