Matthew Marcus
@mabuse.bsky.social
Jeopardy! and Times Crossword Champion (semi-retired)
I was in high dudgeon about the fact that Ceres never got to be a planet despite having been discovered over a century before Pluto. Apparently it's because it hasn't "cleared its orbital neighborhood of other debris"? So that explains why I was never named a dwarf planet either.
December 2, 2025 at 6:13 PM
I was in high dudgeon about the fact that Ceres never got to be a planet despite having been discovered over a century before Pluto. Apparently it's because it hasn't "cleared its orbital neighborhood of other debris"? So that explains why I was never named a dwarf planet either.
Covering myself in skeletal fragments and shells from marine organisms, such as corals, algae, and mollusks, so that in several million years I can be a “limestone cowboy” for Halloween
November 22, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Covering myself in skeletal fragments and shells from marine organisms, such as corals, algae, and mollusks, so that in several million years I can be a “limestone cowboy” for Halloween
I used to stop everything to listen to "The Sign" or "All That She Wants" but now, I just play it in the background and get on with doing some other work. Async of Basync.
November 20, 2025 at 9:42 PM
I used to stop everything to listen to "The Sign" or "All That She Wants" but now, I just play it in the background and get on with doing some other work. Async of Basync.
Today I achieved: used the phrase "selachian Jacques Tati" to describe a Marvel comic book character.
November 20, 2025 at 9:32 PM
Today I achieved: used the phrase "selachian Jacques Tati" to describe a Marvel comic book character.
(Jane Eyre) Spoiler: I married him.
November 19, 2025 at 10:24 PM
(Jane Eyre) Spoiler: I married him.
Given that "Dracula" actually means "son of Dracul" (Vlad Dracul was Vlad Dracula's" father), consider how close we may have come to having had it rendered in English as McDragon or O'Drackle.
November 19, 2025 at 12:37 AM
Given that "Dracula" actually means "son of Dracul" (Vlad Dracul was Vlad Dracula's" father), consider how close we may have come to having had it rendered in English as McDragon or O'Drackle.
Gerrymandering was only the start. Proposition 50 makes it inevitable that we will soon see the existence of Gerrymeleon and Gerryzard.
November 14, 2025 at 12:04 AM
Gerrymandering was only the start. Proposition 50 makes it inevitable that we will soon see the existence of Gerrymeleon and Gerryzard.
Can an Optimus robot give me a piggyback to work? If so might be a decent alternative to learning to drive.
November 10, 2025 at 11:57 PM
Can an Optimus robot give me a piggyback to work? If so might be a decent alternative to learning to drive.
The other guitarists always looked down on me because my amp only went up to 10, but the joke was them - I'd numbered all my equipment using undecimal, the most metal of all bases.
November 6, 2025 at 11:10 PM
The other guitarists always looked down on me because my amp only went up to 10, but the joke was them - I'd numbered all my equipment using undecimal, the most metal of all bases.
Workshopping a more Cronenbergian baking-themed reality TV show - Am I Cake?
November 6, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Workshopping a more Cronenbergian baking-themed reality TV show - Am I Cake?
This all reminds me of the time I was excommunicated by my village church for trying to make "jazz campanology" happen.
October 26, 2025 at 6:50 PM
This all reminds me of the time I was excommunicated by my village church for trying to make "jazz campanology" happen.
Habsburg jaw jaw is better than Thirty Years War War
October 24, 2025 at 1:13 AM
Habsburg jaw jaw is better than Thirty Years War War
I know airport dogs are highly trained to only give the alert for drugs and weapons or whatever but are you telling me that if you try to get through security with your pants and jacket absolutely stuffed with dog treats they aren’t going to make some noise for you. Anyway about to find out
October 20, 2025 at 6:29 PM
I know airport dogs are highly trained to only give the alert for drugs and weapons or whatever but are you telling me that if you try to get through security with your pants and jacket absolutely stuffed with dog treats they aren’t going to make some noise for you. Anyway about to find out
Whenever I check in on the latest news, sure, a lot of it is grim, but I am always able to console myself by remembering that a rising tide of blood and chaos lifts all boats.
September 23, 2025 at 7:14 PM
Whenever I check in on the latest news, sure, a lot of it is grim, but I am always able to console myself by remembering that a rising tide of blood and chaos lifts all boats.
So earlier today I discovered "Norwegian Wood" by Picture Parlour, and did what any sane person would: try to assemble the whole of Rubber Soul but composed of songs not at all by The Beatles. I'm doing well, but can anyone help me with "If I Needed Someone"?
August 20, 2025 at 1:26 AM
So earlier today I discovered "Norwegian Wood" by Picture Parlour, and did what any sane person would: try to assemble the whole of Rubber Soul but composed of songs not at all by The Beatles. I'm doing well, but can anyone help me with "If I Needed Someone"?
Naming things is famously hard, but even so, "cubewano" might be the worst name for a thing ever.
August 20, 2025 at 1:19 AM
Naming things is famously hard, but even so, "cubewano" might be the worst name for a thing ever.
If every action has an equal and opposite reaction, there must exist an evil counterpart to Smokey called Arson Bear.
August 14, 2025 at 5:45 PM
If every action has an equal and opposite reaction, there must exist an evil counterpart to Smokey called Arson Bear.
As Mrs Anningprop once remarked to Ernstony Haecksolute, orogeny recapitulates palaeontology.
August 3, 2025 at 9:53 PM
As Mrs Anningprop once remarked to Ernstony Haecksolute, orogeny recapitulates palaeontology.
Throw a man who can't swim into the sea and he will be politically left wing for 5 minutes. Teach a man to throw others into the sea and he will be politically right wing for life.
July 8, 2025 at 6:07 PM
Throw a man who can't swim into the sea and he will be politically left wing for 5 minutes. Teach a man to throw others into the sea and he will be politically right wing for life.
People often talk about the virtue of self-documenting code, but less often about the virtue of self-documenting people: you know, the type who post pictures of their breakfast and give blow-by-blow updates on their every mood change. Let us take a moment to celebrate their limpid simplicity.
April 23, 2025 at 9:12 PM
People often talk about the virtue of self-documenting code, but less often about the virtue of self-documenting people: you know, the type who post pictures of their breakfast and give blow-by-blow updates on their every mood change. Let us take a moment to celebrate their limpid simplicity.
For some reason Shawn Carter has still not gotten back to me about my pitch for him to star in a gritty police procedural set in the North of England, Jay-Z-Cars.
February 21, 2025 at 6:28 PM
For some reason Shawn Carter has still not gotten back to me about my pitch for him to star in a gritty police procedural set in the North of England, Jay-Z-Cars.
Is everything completely terrible now or am I just old? The $1000000 question
February 11, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Is everything completely terrible now or am I just old? The $1000000 question
America First, and the rest nowhere, apparently.
February 7, 2025 at 11:30 PM
America First, and the rest nowhere, apparently.
I’m in the movies for a Chet Baker documentary and why hasn’t anyone made a Chet Baker biopic with Matt Smith as Chet Baker yet?
January 25, 2025 at 9:25 PM
I’m in the movies for a Chet Baker documentary and why hasn’t anyone made a Chet Baker biopic with Matt Smith as Chet Baker yet?
It's been a pretty tough century to be a Tonawanda Kardex and Providence Steamrollers fan.
January 24, 2025 at 7:10 PM
It's been a pretty tough century to be a Tonawanda Kardex and Providence Steamrollers fan.