YES

👀👀👀

🫂🫂🫂

I want to be good at things. I want to be hot and pretty and cute and desired. I want to have intimate contact with other people, I want to be kissed and fucked. I want to undo so many mistakes and so much hurt I’ve dealt to other people.

These things are beyond my reach. Not meant for me.

I’m a jealous, spiteful, and angry person. You can tell me it’s normal to have these feelings but it doesn’t feel normal to fly into a depressive spiral when seeing things you want - even small and meaningless things - happen to other people. To your *friends*.

Constantly, without end.

It’s not even that I’m not a cis girl and never will be, I’m not pretty or hot enough for community with most other trans women - whether it’s online spaces or IRL

It’s been on my mind that maybe I’m not even trans and just hate myself so badly I don’t want to be myself anymore. There’s no escape.