the mike
@madocgwyar.bsky.social
fucked up and got the 8ball rolling !
(MD - he/they/xe - 22 - my sick & twisted journal)
(MD - he/they/xe - 22 - my sick & twisted journal)
which is not a dig at the album; it's a banger. this is a dig at my emotional processing, especially when i listen to it while depressed
take this to your grave & i are gonna be 23 this year but i still feel fucking 15 years old any time i listen to this album
January 15, 2026 at 3:58 AM
which is not a dig at the album; it's a banger. this is a dig at my emotional processing, especially when i listen to it while depressed
take this to your grave & i are gonna be 23 this year but i still feel fucking 15 years old any time i listen to this album
January 15, 2026 at 3:53 AM
take this to your grave & i are gonna be 23 this year but i still feel fucking 15 years old any time i listen to this album
like i'm Adjacent to funny, good-looking, smart & can ramble about the classics, feminist without being performative but only ADJACENT to such + not fit. so you'd think brain would cut its losses—
i just think if the rational part of a brain says the crush will never work out, the fantastical part should listen to that impossibility and move on 🤷♂️
December 14, 2025 at 4:17 AM
like i'm Adjacent to funny, good-looking, smart & can ramble about the classics, feminist without being performative but only ADJACENT to such + not fit. so you'd think brain would cut its losses—
i just think if the rational part of a brain says the crush will never work out, the fantastical part should listen to that impossibility and move on 🤷♂️
December 14, 2025 at 4:00 AM
i just think if the rational part of a brain says the crush will never work out, the fantastical part should listen to that impossibility and move on 🤷♂️
still being cursed by this because i'm only awake due to the fact that girliepop had said around this time 'i won't get you anything for valentines or you'll think i'm in love with you' or WHATEVER. and i've been doing so much better with the whole situation and YET.
brain's birthday present to me earlier was gay dream. this is cruel
November 27, 2025 at 5:54 AM
still being cursed by this because i'm only awake due to the fact that girliepop had said around this time 'i won't get you anything for valentines or you'll think i'm in love with you' or WHATEVER. and i've been doing so much better with the whole situation and YET.
and one that doesn't implode at any ounce of being less successful than peers in a vicious cycle of knowing i'll never be overly impressive yet feeling attacked about the fact that i'm not. like girl get a grip
they should invent a brain that doesn't get FOMO from seeing an event that said brain talked itself out of going to. and when said brain thinks that it's alien from other people / wouldn't have fit in at the event anyway
October 31, 2025 at 4:49 PM
and one that doesn't implode at any ounce of being less successful than peers in a vicious cycle of knowing i'll never be overly impressive yet feeling attacked about the fact that i'm not. like girl get a grip
is writing yuri giving me brain damage about not getting any action in real life. more at 10
October 15, 2025 at 8:45 PM
is writing yuri giving me brain damage about not getting any action in real life. more at 10
they should invent a brain that doesn't get FOMO from seeing an event that said brain talked itself out of going to. and when said brain thinks that it's alien from other people / wouldn't have fit in at the event anyway
October 13, 2025 at 1:30 AM
they should invent a brain that doesn't get FOMO from seeing an event that said brain talked itself out of going to. and when said brain thinks that it's alien from other people / wouldn't have fit in at the event anyway
finally changed it BTW. son of fortunate gore and shit (<- delusional)
i realized yesterday that my handle on here probably shouldn't be the same as everywhere else because Gay Self-Incrimination. but what can you do
September 27, 2025 at 1:09 AM
finally changed it BTW. son of fortunate gore and shit (<- delusional)
it's going to be really bad once i actually watch the hack because even though it's based on a real life story. david tennant as nick davies reads to me as a silver fox butch and i'm going to be on my knees. amen
this is a gay journal so i don't normally post fandom stuff here but i have something i've been meaning to say
September 27, 2025 at 1:05 AM
it's going to be really bad once i actually watch the hack because even though it's based on a real life story. david tennant as nick davies reads to me as a silver fox butch and i'm going to be on my knees. amen
this is a gay journal so i don't normally post fandom stuff here but i have something i've been meaning to say
September 27, 2025 at 1:00 AM
this is a gay journal so i don't normally post fandom stuff here but i have something i've been meaning to say
when will i get to be galahad (surrounded by 150 chaste women in castle anthrax)
September 2, 2025 at 12:13 AM
when will i get to be galahad (surrounded by 150 chaste women in castle anthrax)
i realized yesterday that my handle on here probably shouldn't be the same as everywhere else because Gay Self-Incrimination. but what can you do
August 28, 2025 at 12:04 AM
i realized yesterday that my handle on here probably shouldn't be the same as everywhere else because Gay Self-Incrimination. but what can you do
killing myself over the brain loop saying 'yeah my girlfriend goes to ****' in the fantasy of both starting to study abroad next year
but also. being her genderqueer lesbian boyfriend girlfriend. especially while that label still feels good
no. we don't need to reopen limerance. not now, not before my trip
August 26, 2025 at 8:17 PM
killing myself over the brain loop saying 'yeah my girlfriend goes to ****' in the fantasy of both starting to study abroad next year
yeah i'm still here. especially because i'm missing out on campus things so like. GirlEver could just put me in her tote and carry me around lalala
how do you say 'please please please let me follow you around like a loyal dog' without sounding weird
August 26, 2025 at 5:23 AM
yeah i'm still here. especially because i'm missing out on campus things so like. GirlEver could just put me in her tote and carry me around lalala
how do you say 'please please please let me follow you around like a loyal dog' without sounding weird
August 20, 2025 at 4:26 AM
how do you say 'please please please let me follow you around like a loyal dog' without sounding weird
do you think gollum was free bleeding in the cave
August 18, 2025 at 11:26 PM
do you think gollum was free bleeding in the cave
also i need a girl who will be the hermann to my newt to satisfy all my autistic needs. and. because i think drifting, with a kaiju brain AND my girl, would actually fix me
July 28, 2025 at 3:14 AM
also i need a girl who will be the hermann to my newt to satisfy all my autistic needs. and. because i think drifting, with a kaiju brain AND my girl, would actually fix me
okay well. maybe i don't need to get FOMO if i instead get a scottish MLitt. or if i could really swing an in-person gig
getting FOMO about not applying to a UK university for my masters is stupid because. well inherently it's stupid. but also i can apply to edinburgh or somewhere for my PhD so like. it's fine
July 28, 2025 at 3:12 AM
okay well. maybe i don't need to get FOMO if i instead get a scottish MLitt. or if i could really swing an in-person gig
getting FOMO about not applying to a UK university for my masters is stupid because. well inherently it's stupid. but also i can apply to edinburgh or somewhere for my PhD so like. it's fine
July 13, 2025 at 6:24 PM
getting FOMO about not applying to a UK university for my masters is stupid because. well inherently it's stupid. but also i can apply to edinburgh or somewhere for my PhD so like. it's fine
i was gonna call myself a dumbass for getting FOMO over things that would have never happened anyway and then i say This. and. Yeah. 😐
July 8, 2025 at 4:18 PM
i was gonna call myself a dumbass for getting FOMO over things that would have never happened anyway and then i say This. and. Yeah. 😐
i've been thinking about this for hours
June 21, 2025 at 1:23 PM
i've been thinking about this for hours
but also. being her genderqueer lesbian boyfriend girlfriend. especially while that label still feels good
no. we don't need to reopen limerance. not now, not before my trip
June 21, 2025 at 4:17 AM
but also. being her genderqueer lesbian boyfriend girlfriend. especially while that label still feels good
no. we don't need to reopen limerance. not now, not before my trip
June 21, 2025 at 4:12 AM
no. we don't need to reopen limerance. not now, not before my trip
anyway. frequent moral of the story that is my life. I Need To Stop Perseverating On Everything Ever
June 15, 2025 at 7:39 PM
anyway. frequent moral of the story that is my life. I Need To Stop Perseverating On Everything Ever