Like what was the kind of Christmas Cheer intended to invite in my child-brain?

Santa is stepping out on his wife?

That kid's parents are getting a divorce because his mom cheated on his dad with Santa?

None of these fill me with holiday cheer.

This song has confused and irked me for years

a) kissing is gross why are we singing a Christmas song about it
b) did this happen on Christmas eve? If so, why was Santa stopping to kiss someone on his busiest night of the year?
c) there was no scenario in my mind where everyone was innocent in this

Probably more letters but those are top 3

Okay but as a CHILD listening to this what was I supposed to think?

3. The kid's dad is Santa and he somehow missed that. It might be a "The Santa Clause" scenario ala Tim Allen in which case, we can't blame the kid for not knowing
4. That kid's mom was kissing someone dressed as Santa

As a child, this song confused the hell out of me because:

This whole thread brings be delight

I would be so embarrassed to admit this on television. Or out loud.

Yeah she found a comfy spot to stare judgementally at me so I think it's the second one.

There are facts on the advent calendar he didn't know and has texted our whole friend group today's eel fact.

10/10 Would give this to another Marine Bio Nerd.

Feel free to call me if you need enthusiastic endorsements of eel advent calendars for 2026. I'm very quotable.