look i’m not saying SEO isn’t “real”—i just think we’re a finite number of cycles away from the entire internet looking like a user-agent string

You can't logic your way out of being burnt out. Unless you're me. Who should be able to do it and it's a personal failing that I can't

fiber is a SCAM. zero nutritional value. literally just gets in the way and slows things down. if we were truly meant to eat “roughage” then we’d be called “rabbits”

where to buy lossless compression garment?. because my “Thoughts“ toomuch jpeg

hello!! let me reintroduce myself! i’m maisie & my skills include

• evaluating business metrics to recommend strategy adjustments to adapt to shifting market conditions (I didn’t take enough miralax last week; I took too much miralax this week → I will take a medium amount of miralax next week)

my old phone case broke but my new one is Pink and it came with STICKERS and this is bringing me an unreasonable amount of joy rn

can i please just sip sugarwater all day like a hummingbird? i’m so so tired of these so-called “solids”

??? the answer is none of these ???

blue is a cheese
greens is a salad
and BBQ is a sauce

nothing more devastating than taking a sip of ginger beer and it’s not spicy enough to make your sinuses see god

what if the abyss is also scared of making eye contact

baffling to me that I can reduce the weight of what I’m carrying by drinking the water out of my water bottle. and yet I still carry the water home. wtf. literal girl math

I went to a craft store and asked to buy stamps and I genuinely cannot tell if I purchased valid postage or just like commemorative blueberry stickers

damn. I just made a HOT cinnamon vanilla oatmilk “latte without espresso.” usually I drink them cold but this time I used a microwave. who knew carbohydrate water could taste this good!?

my hot take today is that every movie needs to have a 2-3 minute epilogue before ending. stop cutting to the credits mid-kiss. I don’t have a visual imagination. I literally do not know what happens next

literally nothing more embarrassing than ordering a breakfast item after they stopped offering breakfast items

Is Exfoliating Enough? I Do Not Want To Be Confined By Skin

nothing hits quite like getting to PDX at 5am and the live music at your gate is a guy with clinical depression singing about how his wife left him on a train

air conditioners demand a “window vent” and yet heaters seem just fine without one? suspicious behavior tbh