@gamegrumps.bsky.social wore my Game Grumps shirt to boxing in honor of my boxing hero, Arin (also Usyk) but yeah, Arin

when I tell you I’ve never bawled so hard during a game

When I drink a cup of the sweet sweet apple juice, my pupils dilate and I get a sugar rush so intense that it effects me more then a shot of vodka. It’s like drugs. And its 1 dollar. The sweet nectar from an apple will prompt me to commit crimes one day.

Lemmie paint a picture. You’re in a Hobby Lobby, and Home by Phillip Phillips is playing. You sniff a cinnamon pine cone as an old lady clips your heel with a cart.
You find your mom, who is reading the ingredients on veggie straws. You get a text on your iPhone 5. The end.

If my AirPods read your text message to me while the beat is dropping in the song I’m listening to, I’m sorry, but you’ll pay dearly some day. You know not the day, nor the hour.

3 things I did today that feel very in character

1: had 6 Post Malone Oreos for breakfast

2: after my sister asked me a question, didn’t care, and responded by saying ‘I eat glue’

3: PASSED MY INSURANCE LICENSING TEST 💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻

@conepines.bsky.social thanks for replying to my post, but not answering my phone call. Too busy guarding a pile of riches in the woods maybe???

Mustard on that Beat Hoe

Guys I duel wield Reduvia, so pretty much don’t listen to anything I say

@bwecht.bsky.social made these costumes from scratch, and no, my brother is not wearing a wig 👹💅🏻