Malcolm Wayne
@malcolmwayne.bsky.social
New England native. Half-assed writer. Wannabe comedian.
Has anyone tried telling Hegseth that being a secretary is a ladies job?
October 1, 2025 at 1:54 AM
Has anyone tried telling Hegseth that being a secretary is a ladies job?
Sometimes when I’m bored, I’ll call gambling anonymous hotlines and ask if I’m the 10th caller.
March 16, 2025 at 12:55 PM
Sometimes when I’m bored, I’ll call gambling anonymous hotlines and ask if I’m the 10th caller.
Telling jokes on the coldest night of the year so far last night in Gorham NH.
February 2, 2025 at 9:54 PM
Telling jokes on the coldest night of the year so far last night in Gorham NH.
Tonight I did a guest spot at a stand up show that was at an American Legion Hall. It went great, but I learned that these vets will laugh at anything but a 9/11 joke. Even if it came from a veteran who was deployed on 9/11.
Otherwise, the set went great!!
Otherwise, the set went great!!
February 2, 2025 at 4:25 AM
Tonight I did a guest spot at a stand up show that was at an American Legion Hall. It went great, but I learned that these vets will laugh at anything but a 9/11 joke. Even if it came from a veteran who was deployed on 9/11.
Otherwise, the set went great!!
Otherwise, the set went great!!
2025 May as well be the year of the ramekin. I’m gonna be saucy as hell.
January 19, 2025 at 8:24 PM
2025 May as well be the year of the ramekin. I’m gonna be saucy as hell.
I tend to have beers and pace around when I write jokes. It’s a great way to get a buzz and get steps in at the same time…but it never fails that I forget where I set my beer down. Happy thanksgiving!!!!
November 28, 2024 at 4:21 PM
I tend to have beers and pace around when I write jokes. It’s a great way to get a buzz and get steps in at the same time…but it never fails that I forget where I set my beer down. Happy thanksgiving!!!!
Maybe Matt Gaetz can be the secretary of Education. He’s in need of a job and he loves high schoolers.
November 21, 2024 at 5:53 PM
Maybe Matt Gaetz can be the secretary of Education. He’s in need of a job and he loves high schoolers.
Everyone is always promoting something.
November 17, 2024 at 6:21 PM
Everyone is always promoting something.
Photographic proof that I do stand-up.
January 20, 2024 at 7:19 PM
Photographic proof that I do stand-up.
On NYE I never would have guessed that 2024 would be the year that I developed a solid Katt Williams impersonation.
January 20, 2024 at 7:18 PM
On NYE I never would have guessed that 2024 would be the year that I developed a solid Katt Williams impersonation.
The narrative is either that Wilson can’t even beat a tanking team or it’s that Zappe may be the answer going forward. No middle ground here. #2024draft #nepatriots #letsride
December 25, 2023 at 4:43 AM
The narrative is either that Wilson can’t even beat a tanking team or it’s that Zappe may be the answer going forward. No middle ground here. #2024draft #nepatriots #letsride
Thursday night in Boston was quite nice.
December 16, 2023 at 4:31 PM
Thursday night in Boston was quite nice.
Circa 2005. Somewhere in the Persian Gulf. I believe I had been awake for over 40 hours in this picture.
November 11, 2023 at 1:28 PM
Circa 2005. Somewhere in the Persian Gulf. I believe I had been awake for over 40 hours in this picture.
Quietly entering my “I’m a friggin veteran, damnit!!!” Part of my mid-40’s.
October 14, 2023 at 4:04 PM
Quietly entering my “I’m a friggin veteran, damnit!!!” Part of my mid-40’s.
None of this BS would be happening if Bordain was still around.
October 13, 2023 at 3:55 PM
None of this BS would be happening if Bordain was still around.
Anyone interested is hearing some music I contributed to, click the link! I’m the dude playing bass.
youtube.com/channel/UCq_...
youtube.com/channel/UCq_...
October 1, 2023 at 1:28 PM
Anyone interested is hearing some music I contributed to, click the link! I’m the dude playing bass.
youtube.com/channel/UCq_...
youtube.com/channel/UCq_...
I’m currently relaxing in a campground in New Hampshire. All of a sudden a rally of golf carts go by honking and screaming “No fees”!!!
September 23, 2023 at 8:08 PM
I’m currently relaxing in a campground in New Hampshire. All of a sudden a rally of golf carts go by honking and screaming “No fees”!!!
One could say I’ve let my studio go to shit.
September 19, 2023 at 9:24 PM
One could say I’ve let my studio go to shit.
I think the way to solve gun violence would be if we replace the triggers on guns with dicks.
September 19, 2023 at 12:56 AM
I think the way to solve gun violence would be if we replace the triggers on guns with dicks.
Joining BlueSky on a typical cloudy/rainy 2023 day. This seems right.
September 19, 2023 at 12:06 AM
Joining BlueSky on a typical cloudy/rainy 2023 day. This seems right.