Parker :)
@mangoparker.bsky.social
Hello, I’m Parker! 28, they/xe/he, Pisces
Artist and writer (and maybe one day I’ll actually act like it)!
Artist and writer (and maybe one day I’ll actually act like it)!
list of famous carpenters associated with christmas music:
-jesus
-joseph
-karen
-richard
-jesus
-joseph
-karen
-richard
December 28, 2025 at 1:21 AM
list of famous carpenters associated with christmas music:
-jesus
-joseph
-karen
-richard
-jesus
-joseph
-karen
-richard
Christmas yard decorations are so funny. What is the Virgin Mary doing next to an inflatable dinosaur with a Santa hat
December 26, 2025 at 2:32 AM
Christmas yard decorations are so funny. What is the Virgin Mary doing next to an inflatable dinosaur with a Santa hat
Floss wrapped so taut around my fingers my teeth sound like a glockenspiel
December 25, 2025 at 5:17 PM
Floss wrapped so taut around my fingers my teeth sound like a glockenspiel
Do you guys think Cheech and Chong ever explored each other’s bodies
December 24, 2025 at 3:09 AM
Do you guys think Cheech and Chong ever explored each other’s bodies
I am so fucking sick of planned obsolescence I’m going to end up on the news
December 15, 2025 at 6:33 PM
I am so fucking sick of planned obsolescence I’m going to end up on the news
Got excited because no one was in the work bathroom but then two people came in after me. Which is fine bc honestly I was just hanging out in there and wasting time but as soon as they came in I was like “they’re gonna know somehow that I’m just hanging out and tell my boss”
December 12, 2025 at 7:48 PM
Got excited because no one was in the work bathroom but then two people came in after me. Which is fine bc honestly I was just hanging out in there and wasting time but as soon as they came in I was like “they’re gonna know somehow that I’m just hanging out and tell my boss”
Phone: your screen time went down 19% this week…
Me: woooo!!
Phone: …for an average of 7 hours a day
Me: Ah. Fuck
Me: woooo!!
Phone: …for an average of 7 hours a day
Me: Ah. Fuck
December 7, 2025 at 3:27 PM
Phone: your screen time went down 19% this week…
Me: woooo!!
Phone: …for an average of 7 hours a day
Me: Ah. Fuck
Me: woooo!!
Phone: …for an average of 7 hours a day
Me: Ah. Fuck
Sandwich so soggy I had to tie my hair back. This is not a euphemism
December 3, 2025 at 1:20 AM
Sandwich so soggy I had to tie my hair back. This is not a euphemism
Just heard my boss groan loud as hell and then her Microsoft teams switched to “in a meeting” and honestly she’s so real for that
December 2, 2025 at 1:36 PM
Just heard my boss groan loud as hell and then her Microsoft teams switched to “in a meeting” and honestly she’s so real for that
I love being autistic. My mom WILL be learning about the Max Headroom Incident today
November 27, 2025 at 9:39 PM
I love being autistic. My mom WILL be learning about the Max Headroom Incident today
[literally less than 12 hours after getting my covid booster] why the FUCK does my arm hurt so bad
November 19, 2025 at 9:43 AM
[literally less than 12 hours after getting my covid booster] why the FUCK does my arm hurt so bad
Whoever invented OneDrive is my enemy and I hope they die so so painfully
November 2, 2025 at 7:09 PM
Whoever invented OneDrive is my enemy and I hope they die so so painfully
When my cat pisses me off I hold him up to the mirror and make him look at himself to instill him with an existential dread
November 2, 2025 at 3:12 AM
When my cat pisses me off I hold him up to the mirror and make him look at himself to instill him with an existential dread
Reposted by Parker :)
Actually - I can still live my life to the fullest without feeling the need to go camping up a mountain.
November 1, 2025 at 10:58 AM
Actually - I can still live my life to the fullest without feeling the need to go camping up a mountain.
I wish so badly that I liked onion rings. They smell so fucking good and they just. Don’t taste nearly as good as they smell
October 28, 2025 at 11:23 PM
I wish so badly that I liked onion rings. They smell so fucking good and they just. Don’t taste nearly as good as they smell
Cleaning all the gay smut fics off my computer, call that defagging my hard drive
October 28, 2025 at 4:46 PM
Cleaning all the gay smut fics off my computer, call that defagging my hard drive
Gonna start shortening “restroom” to “‘stroom.” Yeah hang on man I’ll be right back, I gotta use the ‘stroom
October 28, 2025 at 4:45 PM
Gonna start shortening “restroom” to “‘stroom.” Yeah hang on man I’ll be right back, I gotta use the ‘stroom
Having to hear other people talk about AI is like when restaurants had a smoking section and you would sit in the non-smoking section but you could still smell all the cigarettes
October 28, 2025 at 4:44 PM
Having to hear other people talk about AI is like when restaurants had a smoking section and you would sit in the non-smoking section but you could still smell all the cigarettes
Reposted by Parker :)
Chatbots — LLMs — do not know facts and are not designed to be able to accurately answer factual questions. They are designed to find and mimic patterns of words, probabilistically. When they’re “right” it’s because correct things are often written down, so those patterns are frequent. That’s all.
June 19, 2025 at 11:21 AM
Chatbots — LLMs — do not know facts and are not designed to be able to accurately answer factual questions. They are designed to find and mimic patterns of words, probabilistically. When they’re “right” it’s because correct things are often written down, so those patterns are frequent. That’s all.
I am genuinely so fucking tired of tiktok-flavored self censorship
October 27, 2025 at 5:04 PM
I am genuinely so fucking tired of tiktok-flavored self censorship
Reposted by Parker :)
I am going to start hitting people with sticks. Big sticks. Huge, even
August 27, 2025 at 5:36 PM
I am going to start hitting people with sticks. Big sticks. Huge, even
Reposted by Parker :)
Every time I hear about someone using chat gpt I lose a week off my life from the stress
October 24, 2025 at 6:59 PM
Every time I hear about someone using chat gpt I lose a week off my life from the stress
Reposted by Parker :)
A portion of every dollar spent on Harry Potter merchandise goes to anti-transgender campaigns.
October 25, 2025 at 5:54 PM
A portion of every dollar spent on Harry Potter merchandise goes to anti-transgender campaigns.
I’m so tired of fatphobes. Die.
October 25, 2025 at 11:36 PM
I’m so tired of fatphobes. Die.
I’m trying to root suicidal ideation out of my vocabulary but unfortunately “I’m gonna corn on the kill myself” is too funny to stop saying
October 24, 2025 at 9:43 PM
I’m trying to root suicidal ideation out of my vocabulary but unfortunately “I’m gonna corn on the kill myself” is too funny to stop saying