this whole breakdown has revealed to me that i am actually at the best mentally i have been in a long long time. estrogen is incredible

i am an unconsolable crying mess but i really need to appreciate that i get to hang out with my high school friends all the time and they are chill with me being trans and i havent lost them

i am like mourning something that i still have and havent lost yet because i am going to lose it a really long time into the far future and i just need to go through the present but its really hard not to just randomly hit a thought that gets me here im so fuckingn i hate i. its impossible to chill

i dont want anything to change ever ever ever whys it so hard. to accept that its all going to go. its all going to go away. i dont want it to go. unlucky i formed attachments to things in a normal human way and i am being punished for it emotionally

trans bodies are art and sharing them is vulnerable but powerful