I wonder what Steve Jobs would have thought about ai

why are hot dog buns cut so the distribution is 90% on one side and 10% on the other

monster hunter...

if i dated someone named jeremy i think i would say "take care of me jeremy" every day send tweet i mean post

I'm really trying to get off twitter but man, where's the funny on blue sky? I use the "catch up" feed a lot and every time it's politics, politics, politics, politics, politics, Haus of Decline, politics, politics, cat pic, politics
how do I get funny videos and shitposters?

witnessed a man walk into a public bathroom, wash his hands, use the urinal, blow his nose, and then leave without washing his hands again
he could have walked in on his hands wearing a clown outfit and i would have been less confused

my greatest fears in life include accidentally casting to a nearby tv and hitting the "Hahaha" auto reply button

professor: alright class, what's 2+2?
advanced students in class at 7 am: *tired silence for 2 seconds*
professor: nobody knows huh? wow you guys are really far behind, this is beginner level stuff

"yoooo the editing of this vid is insane!"
looks inside
entirely visual effects

CHOOSE YOUR CHARACTER:
- MY MOM
- YOUR MOM
- STACY'S MOM

love when websites are like "you have ONE TRY at this important thing and if you MESS UP that's IT YOU SCUM i'll personally KILL YOU if you screw up. hope you memorized the 12 instructions that were on the last page you can't go to anymore you swine, you you worm grovelling at my feet" love that

film professor: alright class we're gonna watch and analyze this documentary about the Holocaust
world's smartest film student: daaaaaaamn this is probably gonna be like sad and shit, huh?

every other version of Taskmaster falls flat for me cause no one can emulate the dad-like sternness of Greg Davies or the unique quirkiness of Alex Horne. the show thrives on the Taskmaster hilariously calling out BS and his assistant being a silly little guy and no other version gets it quite right

i forgot my headphones so now I just have to walk 30 minutes with what, silence? the sounds of the city? my thoughts??? i'd rather die, but i apparently can't cause here i am walking

im gonna be fucked up bro im crossfading on tea AND coffee
truly living life to the fullest

I was born with the skill to write long essays really fast and cursed with the inability to get past rewriting one sentence for 6 hours

can someone figure out a way for me to share insanely cool art and stories with my friends without them noticing the extremely blatant similarities in my dnd world building? thanks

haters (drivers in my school parking lot) be hating on me (a safe driver) for being a bad bitch (obeying traffic laws)