Today's press conferences: as I understand it, the British & Irish Lions squad is expected to include chlorinated chicken, digital services, pharmaceuticals and Landrovers, and we're hoping to be able export Maro Itoje, Dewi Lake, Dan Sheehan and Duhan Van De Merwe to the US with minimal tariffs.

I’ve been mulling over Jeff Bezos using his wealth to send Katy Perry to space. I have concluded my wealth is probably sufficient to fund one of the Cheeky Girls to get a Megabus to Glasgow. Can anyone either stump up the cash for the other one or put me in touch with their agent?

Radio 4’s Today programme are debating what the first sign of spring is. Any classical musician could tell you: it’s a very nervous-looking bassoonist…

Sample of the new Spanner Big Band Album youtube.com/watch?v=visw...

Vodafone/Three UK telecoms merger: I'm pitching "V3", mainly as it would really annoy their major competitor O2, but obviously I wouldn't show the client that concept in the first two meetings.

Just in case you wanted to accompany your day with some Stravinsky, Zappa, Bowie and assorted jazz, the Spanner Big Band album is now available to listen to or download on Bandcamp: spannerbigband.bandcamp.com/album/a-load...

So wait... I've managed to enable a feed called "Cat Pics" and now all I get is cat pictures...? This place is awesome. How do I do that on MS Teams?

Just imagine what we'd achieve if everyone got out of their comfort zones: a world of uncomfortable people.