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Mariana Z @mariana057.bsky.social · 20d

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams and Bruno Mars walk into a bar.....

They didn’t planet that way.

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Mariana Z @mariana057.bsky.social · 20d

Boss: we’re gonna be doing random drug testing

Me: okay but I won’t try crack

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Mariana Z @mariana057.bsky.social · 20d

Me: “I need some sick time, I’ve got a case of anal glaucoma.”

Boss: “Anal Glaucoma, what’s that?”

Me: “I can’t see my ass coming to work tomorrow.”

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Reposted by Mariana Z

Mariana Z @mariana057.bsky.social · 21d

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer.

Plus it's fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

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Mariana Z @mariana057.bsky.social · 21d

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer.

Plus it's fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

56 82 660

Reposted by Mariana Z

Mariana Z @mariana057.bsky.social · 21d

A man boards a plane with six kids. After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, "are all of those kids yours?"

He replies, " no. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints."

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Mariana Z @mariana057.bsky.social · 21d

A man boards a plane with six kids. After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, "are all of those kids yours?"

He replies, " no. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints."

23 41 460

Reposted by Mariana Z

Mariana Z @mariana057.bsky.social · 22d

I tried to sneak into a Star Trek convention dressed as a doctor.

The security guard suspected that I wasn't the Real McCoy.

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Mariana Z @mariana057.bsky.social · 22d

Do I love my coworkers?

No.

But are they good at their job and make my life easier at work?

Also no.

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Reposted by Mariana Z