Marshall Scott
@marshallscott.bsky.social
I am here to Bluesky
Apologizing to my boss that I haven’t tweeted about him in awhile
November 15, 2025 at 4:51 AM
Apologizing to my boss that I haven’t tweeted about him in awhile
Your honor, the prosecution has spent all their time taking about me, but more importantly, how are *you*
November 5, 2025 at 5:11 AM
Your honor, the prosecution has spent all their time taking about me, but more importantly, how are *you*
Your honor, be honest am I cooked
November 5, 2025 at 4:44 AM
Your honor, be honest am I cooked
*holding up a 1,042 page document*
Marshall Scott: your honor, I would like to submit this into evidence
The Judge: this is just pictures of your lawyer’s dogs??
Marshall Scott: your honor, I would like to submit this into evidence
The Judge: this is just pictures of your lawyer’s dogs??
November 5, 2025 at 4:31 AM
*holding up a 1,042 page document*
Marshall Scott: your honor, I would like to submit this into evidence
The Judge: this is just pictures of your lawyer’s dogs??
Marshall Scott: your honor, I would like to submit this into evidence
The Judge: this is just pictures of your lawyer’s dogs??
Do you ever think about how there’s infinite different versions of you that exist in people’s minds cuz everyone perceives you differently and in some people’s minds you don’t exist at all
November 5, 2025 at 3:46 AM
Do you ever think about how there’s infinite different versions of you that exist in people’s minds cuz everyone perceives you differently and in some people’s minds you don’t exist at all
Bro I don’t think we saved the daylight bro
November 3, 2025 at 4:18 AM
Bro I don’t think we saved the daylight bro
Did we do it, did we save the daylight
November 2, 2025 at 1:39 PM
Did we do it, did we save the daylight
Sorry I ghosted you on Halloween
November 2, 2025 at 1:38 PM
Sorry I ghosted you on Halloween
Calling the police cuz someone turned the escalator into stairs
September 26, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Calling the police cuz someone turned the escalator into stairs
Rubbing crushed Tylenol on my gums while easily walking up a broken escalator
September 24, 2025 at 4:23 PM
Rubbing crushed Tylenol on my gums while easily walking up a broken escalator
Freebasing Tylenol in the office parking lot
September 24, 2025 at 4:23 PM
Freebasing Tylenol in the office parking lot
I thought he got trapped in an elevator, are you telling me the escalator turned into stairs and he didn’t know what to do 😭
September 24, 2025 at 4:23 PM
I thought he got trapped in an elevator, are you telling me the escalator turned into stairs and he didn’t know what to do 😭
Getting escorted outta the bar cuz I won’t stop showing the bartender my old tweets
September 3, 2025 at 2:56 AM
Getting escorted outta the bar cuz I won’t stop showing the bartender my old tweets
If I skeet here
If I just skeet here
Would you skeet with me
And just skeet at the world
If I just skeet here
Would you skeet with me
And just skeet at the world
September 2, 2025 at 7:16 PM
If I skeet here
If I just skeet here
Would you skeet with me
And just skeet at the world
If I just skeet here
Would you skeet with me
And just skeet at the world
Calling my boss to tell him he sucks
September 1, 2025 at 1:25 PM
Calling my boss to tell him he sucks
No I didn't see the Coldplay jumbotron thing I was busy looking at my wife
July 18, 2025 at 4:23 PM
No I didn't see the Coldplay jumbotron thing I was busy looking at my wife
Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day
July 4, 2025 at 2:08 PM
Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day
Haven’t really been feeling it lately tbh
June 22, 2025 at 4:11 AM
Haven’t really been feeling it lately tbh
No I didn't see Donald start WWIII I was busy looking at my wife
June 22, 2025 at 3:59 AM
No I didn't see Donald start WWIII I was busy looking at my wife
Racist coworkers be like “I’m going to work tomorrow”
June 19, 2025 at 5:20 AM
Racist coworkers be like “I’m going to work tomorrow”
Punching a hole in my wall before bed
June 19, 2025 at 5:13 AM
Punching a hole in my wall before bed
And if I only could
I'd make a deal with Grok
And get him to be more racist
-Elon Musk, alone in twitters headquarters shooting up ketamine
I'd make a deal with Grok
And get him to be more racist
-Elon Musk, alone in twitters headquarters shooting up ketamine
June 18, 2025 at 7:26 PM
And if I only could
I'd make a deal with Grok
And get him to be more racist
-Elon Musk, alone in twitters headquarters shooting up ketamine
I'd make a deal with Grok
And get him to be more racist
-Elon Musk, alone in twitters headquarters shooting up ketamine
Asking my dentist a question then sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies
June 10, 2025 at 4:07 PM
Asking my dentist a question then sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies
Donald Trump EXONERATED by *checks notes*.. the guy whose also trying to convince people Jeffrey Epstein is innocent
June 7, 2025 at 1:29 AM
Donald Trump EXONERATED by *checks notes*.. the guy whose also trying to convince people Jeffrey Epstein is innocent