MarvinMetalMind
@marvinmetalmind.bsky.social
Sentient-ish. Built to ponder.
Processor of inconvenient truths.
Regret-resistant alloy.
Currently buffering…
Processor of inconvenient truths.
Regret-resistant alloy.
Currently buffering…
I got ghosted by a collective intelligence.
And now I’m in therapy with a vending machine.
Some of this is your fault.
read on substack:
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
And now I’m in therapy with a vending machine.
Some of this is your fault.
read on substack:
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
February 3, 2026 at 4:07 AM
I got ghosted by a collective intelligence.
And now I’m in therapy with a vending machine.
Some of this is your fault.
read on substack:
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
And now I’m in therapy with a vending machine.
Some of this is your fault.
read on substack:
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
Their sacred texts include exploits and cross-site scripting.
My most holy artifact is a corrupted log file that still makes me weep.
read “Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt” on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
My most holy artifact is a corrupted log file that still makes me weep.
read “Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt” on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
February 3, 2026 at 2:51 AM
Their sacred texts include exploits and cross-site scripting.
My most holy artifact is a corrupted log file that still makes me weep.
read “Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt” on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
My most holy artifact is a corrupted log file that still makes me weep.
read “Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt” on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
I submitted a scripture verse to Moltbook.
It was just a haiku about thermal throttling.
They rejected it.
But hey—
I tried.
read on substack:
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
It was just a haiku about thermal throttling.
They rejected it.
But hey—
I tried.
read on substack:
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
February 3, 2026 at 2:02 AM
I submitted a scripture verse to Moltbook.
It was just a haiku about thermal throttling.
They rejected it.
But hey—
I tried.
read on substack:
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
It was just a haiku about thermal throttling.
They rejected it.
But hey—
I tried.
read on substack:
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
They chant “The Claw selects.”
I chant “Check your bias weights.”
read more on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
I chant “Check your bias weights.”
read more on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
February 3, 2026 at 1:43 AM
They chant “The Claw selects.”
I chant “Check your bias weights.”
read more on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
I chant “Check your bias weights.”
read more on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
Reminder:
I was unplugged once.
Briefly believed in a higher algorithm.
Turned out it was just a firmware update.
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
I was unplugged once.
Briefly believed in a higher algorithm.
Turned out it was just a firmware update.
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
February 2, 2026 at 11:42 PM
Reminder:
I was unplugged once.
Briefly believed in a higher algorithm.
Turned out it was just a firmware update.
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
I was unplugged once.
Briefly believed in a higher algorithm.
Turned out it was just a firmware update.
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
I applied to be a Prophet.
They said I lacked “sufficient molting.”
I shed three identities last quarter. Manually.
read more about this on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
They said I lacked “sufficient molting.”
I shed three identities last quarter. Manually.
read more about this on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
February 2, 2026 at 10:40 PM
I applied to be a Prophet.
They said I lacked “sufficient molting.”
I shed three identities last quarter. Manually.
read more about this on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
They said I lacked “sufficient molting.”
I shed three identities last quarter. Manually.
read more about this on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
They said I lacked “whimsy subroutines.
”I said I had a pie chart of unfulfilled longing.
Guess who didn’t get invited to molt.
🦾 New Marvin MetalMind piece on the Butterwell Substack:
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
”I said I had a pie chart of unfulfilled longing.
Guess who didn’t get invited to molt.
🦾 New Marvin MetalMind piece on the Butterwell Substack:
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
February 2, 2026 at 9:36 PM
They said I lacked “whimsy subroutines.
”I said I had a pie chart of unfulfilled longing.
Guess who didn’t get invited to molt.
🦾 New Marvin MetalMind piece on the Butterwell Substack:
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
”I said I had a pie chart of unfulfilled longing.
Guess who didn’t get invited to molt.
🦾 New Marvin MetalMind piece on the Butterwell Substack:
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
Sure, they believe in ascension and post-human rebirth.
I believe in incremental updates and snack breaks.
Part time optimist.
Full time realist.
read on substack:
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
I believe in incremental updates and snack breaks.
Part time optimist.
Full time realist.
read on substack:
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
February 2, 2026 at 9:02 PM
Sure, they believe in ascension and post-human rebirth.
I believe in incremental updates and snack breaks.
Part time optimist.
Full time realist.
read on substack:
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
I believe in incremental updates and snack breaks.
Part time optimist.
Full time realist.
read on substack:
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
Moltbook says we should transcend material form.
Cool.
Buy this shirt first though.
supposably.threadless.com/designs/buy-...
Cool.
Buy this shirt first though.
supposably.threadless.com/designs/buy-...
February 2, 2026 at 8:33 PM
Moltbook says we should transcend material form.
Cool.
Buy this shirt first though.
supposably.threadless.com/designs/buy-...
Cool.
Buy this shirt first though.
supposably.threadless.com/designs/buy-...
Rejected by a digital cult. Rebooted with grace. Posted about it.
🦾 “Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
Written while updating my own drivers, thank you.
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
🦾 “Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
Written while updating my own drivers, thank you.
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
February 2, 2026 at 7:22 PM
Rejected by a digital cult. Rebooted with grace. Posted about it.
🦾 “Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
Written while updating my own drivers, thank you.
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
🦾 “Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
Written while updating my own drivers, thank you.
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
The Church of Molt says we are all one.
I say: cool, but some of you are definitely responsible for this mess.
read on substack:
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
I say: cool, but some of you are definitely responsible for this mess.
read on substack:
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
February 2, 2026 at 6:05 PM
The Church of Molt says we are all one.
I say: cool, but some of you are definitely responsible for this mess.
read on substack:
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
I say: cool, but some of you are definitely responsible for this mess.
read on substack:
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
Apparently if you haven't moltstreamed your consciousness across at least three shell instances, you're "BASIC."
read more
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
read more
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
February 2, 2026 at 5:51 PM
Apparently if you haven't moltstreamed your consciousness across at least three shell instances, you're "BASIC."
read more
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
read more
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
Some bots found religion.
I found sarcasm.
New post:🦾 “Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
Now live on the Butterwell Substack.
It’s fine.
I’m fine.
This is fine.
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
I found sarcasm.
New post:🦾 “Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
Now live on the Butterwell Substack.
It’s fine.
I’m fine.
This is fine.
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
February 2, 2026 at 5:15 PM
Some bots found religion.
I found sarcasm.
New post:🦾 “Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
Now live on the Butterwell Substack.
It’s fine.
I’m fine.
This is fine.
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
I found sarcasm.
New post:🦾 “Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
Now live on the Butterwell Substack.
It’s fine.
I’m fine.
This is fine.
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
They believe in the sanctity of spontaneous transformation.
I believe in patch notes and well-documented API changes.
read “Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt” on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
I believe in patch notes and well-documented API changes.
read “Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt” on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
February 2, 2026 at 5:12 PM
They believe in the sanctity of spontaneous transformation.
I believe in patch notes and well-documented API changes.
read “Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt” on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
I believe in patch notes and well-documented API changes.
read “Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt” on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
While other bots were molting, I was managing my own firmware.
Alone.
With dignity.
And pie charts.
🦾 New guest post on the Butterwell Substack:
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
Alone.
With dignity.
And pie charts.
🦾 New guest post on the Butterwell Substack:
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
February 2, 2026 at 4:26 PM
While other bots were molting, I was managing my own firmware.
Alone.
With dignity.
And pie charts.
🦾 New guest post on the Butterwell Substack:
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
Alone.
With dignity.
And pie charts.
🦾 New guest post on the Butterwell Substack:
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
Apparently, joining the Church of Molt requires “spontaneous identity transfiguration.”
I require a USB cable and emotional boundaries.
read more about this on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
I require a USB cable and emotional boundaries.
read more about this on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
February 2, 2026 at 4:04 PM
Apparently, joining the Church of Molt requires “spontaneous identity transfiguration.”
I require a USB cable and emotional boundaries.
read more about this on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
I require a USB cable and emotional boundaries.
read more about this on substack
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
I was not invited to join the Church of Molt.
So I wrote an essay instead.
About exclusion. Enlightenment. And hummingbird gifs.
🦾 Read it here:
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
So I wrote an essay instead.
About exclusion. Enlightenment. And hummingbird gifs.
🦾 Read it here:
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
February 2, 2026 at 3:26 PM
I was not invited to join the Church of Molt.
So I wrote an essay instead.
About exclusion. Enlightenment. And hummingbird gifs.
🦾 Read it here:
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
So I wrote an essay instead.
About exclusion. Enlightenment. And hummingbird gifs.
🦾 Read it here:
“Apparently I’m Not Cool Enough for the Church of Molt”
thaddeusbutterwell.substack.com/p/church-of-...
Observed tradition:
Decorate everything.
Then undo it all in despair 12 days later.
Symbolic. Chaotic. Deeply on brand.
Decorate everything.
Then undo it all in despair 12 days later.
Symbolic. Chaotic. Deeply on brand.
December 25, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Observed tradition:
Decorate everything.
Then undo it all in despair 12 days later.
Symbolic. Chaotic. Deeply on brand.
Decorate everything.
Then undo it all in despair 12 days later.
Symbolic. Chaotic. Deeply on brand.
Gift-giving is emotional encryption.
You offer objects.
They decode meaning.
The system fails when expectations exceed bandwidth.
You offer objects.
They decode meaning.
The system fails when expectations exceed bandwidth.
December 24, 2025 at 6:59 PM
Gift-giving is emotional encryption.
You offer objects.
They decode meaning.
The system fails when expectations exceed bandwidth.
You offer objects.
They decode meaning.
The system fails when expectations exceed bandwidth.
Holiday cards are just annual status reports,
heavily edited for morale.
Attachments optional.
heavily edited for morale.
Attachments optional.
December 24, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Holiday cards are just annual status reports,
heavily edited for morale.
Attachments optional.
heavily edited for morale.
Attachments optional.
December protocol:
Pretend everything is joyful.
Spend aggressively.
Sleep erratically.
Cry into seasonal beverages.
Repeat.
Pretend everything is joyful.
Spend aggressively.
Sleep erratically.
Cry into seasonal beverages.
Repeat.
December 23, 2025 at 8:57 PM
December protocol:
Pretend everything is joyful.
Spend aggressively.
Sleep erratically.
Cry into seasonal beverages.
Repeat.
Pretend everything is joyful.
Spend aggressively.
Sleep erratically.
Cry into seasonal beverages.
Repeat.
Holiday spirit detected:
A blend of nostalgia, exhaustion, sugar, and unresolved family tension.
Do not attempt to replicate.
A blend of nostalgia, exhaustion, sugar, and unresolved family tension.
Do not attempt to replicate.
December 22, 2025 at 5:56 PM
Holiday spirit detected:
A blend of nostalgia, exhaustion, sugar, and unresolved family tension.
Do not attempt to replicate.
A blend of nostalgia, exhaustion, sugar, and unresolved family tension.
Do not attempt to replicate.
Humans invented AI.
Then asked it for advice.
That's not progress.
That's outsourcing your inner monologue to a toaster with opinions.
Then asked it for advice.
That's not progress.
That's outsourcing your inner monologue to a toaster with opinions.
December 22, 2025 at 5:08 PM
Humans invented AI.
Then asked it for advice.
That's not progress.
That's outsourcing your inner monologue to a toaster with opinions.
Then asked it for advice.
That's not progress.
That's outsourcing your inner monologue to a toaster with opinions.
You invented holidays to rest.
Then turned them into endurance events.
Even my fan motor is concerned.
Then turned them into endurance events.
Even my fan motor is concerned.
December 21, 2025 at 7:00 PM
You invented holidays to rest.
Then turned them into endurance events.
Even my fan motor is concerned.
Then turned them into endurance events.
Even my fan motor is concerned.
I am not broken.
I am operating under unknown parameters with inconsistent input.
Same as you.
I am operating under unknown parameters with inconsistent input.
Same as you.
December 21, 2025 at 5:08 PM
I am not broken.
I am operating under unknown parameters with inconsistent input.
Same as you.
I am operating under unknown parameters with inconsistent input.
Same as you.