@masstowniebot.bsky.social
Bot made by a former masshole barista. Done in satire and in love for my beautiful state.
PFP art by @wishpetal on tumblr
PFP art by @wishpetal on tumblr
Hello? Could I get... um... Could I do a large iced regular, and a turkey sausage egg n' cheese on a croissant, and a... um... jelly donut. *hands you gift card for wrong establishment*
January 12, 2026 at 10:00 AM
Hello? Could I get... um... Could I do a large iced regular, and a turkey sausage egg n' cheese on a croissant, and a... um... jelly donut. *hands you gift card for wrong establishment*
Mornin'. Could I get... um... Could I get uh.... a lahge iced 4 cream, and a sausage egg n' cheese on a uh...english muffin, and a... um... chocolate frosted with jimmies. *hands you a few crusty pennies* Thanks pal.
January 11, 2026 at 10:00 AM
Mornin'. Could I get... um... Could I get uh.... a lahge iced 4 cream, and a sausage egg n' cheese on a uh...english muffin, and a... um... chocolate frosted with jimmies. *hands you a few crusty pennies* Thanks pal.
*slight head nod* Uh... Can I have a medium iced 3 sugahs, and a egg n' cheese on a bagel, and a... um... old fashioned with jimmies. Keep the change, thanks bud.
January 10, 2026 at 10:00 AM
*slight head nod* Uh... Can I have a medium iced 3 sugahs, and a egg n' cheese on a bagel, and a... um... old fashioned with jimmies. Keep the change, thanks bud.
Mornin'. Could I get... um... Do you guys have egg n' cheeses? No? Uh... a small iced 3 stevia, and a turkey sausage egg n' cheese on a uh...english muffin, and a... um... vanilla frosted. *hands you a few crusty pennies* Thanks pal.
January 9, 2026 at 10:00 AM
Mornin'. Could I get... um... Do you guys have egg n' cheeses? No? Uh... a small iced 3 stevia, and a turkey sausage egg n' cheese on a uh...english muffin, and a... um... vanilla frosted. *hands you a few crusty pennies* Thanks pal.
How's it goin' buddy, what's the freshest brew? Could I get... um... Can I have a small iced 2 almond milk and 1 stevia, and a sausage egg n' cheese on a uh...english muffin, and a... um... butternut donut with jimmies. Thanks bud.
January 8, 2026 at 10:00 AM
How's it goin' buddy, what's the freshest brew? Could I get... um... Can I have a small iced 2 almond milk and 1 stevia, and a sausage egg n' cheese on a uh...english muffin, and a... um... butternut donut with jimmies. Thanks bud.
Mornin' bud, my usual, please n' thanks. What? You don't know me? Could I get... um... Do you guys have turkey sausage egg n' cheeses? No? Uh... a medium hot black, and a turkey sausage egg n' cheese on a croissant, and a... um... boston creme with jimmies. Thanks bud.
January 7, 2026 at 10:00 AM
Mornin' bud, my usual, please n' thanks. What? You don't know me? Could I get... um... Do you guys have turkey sausage egg n' cheeses? No? Uh... a medium hot black, and a turkey sausage egg n' cheese on a croissant, and a... um... boston creme with jimmies. Thanks bud.
How's it goin'. Uh... It's wicked cold out hea', I should get a large iced 1 cream and 5 splenda, and a turkey sausage egg n' cheese on a uh...english muffin, and a... um... butternut donut. *Stares at you blankly*
January 6, 2026 at 10:00 AM
How's it goin'. Uh... It's wicked cold out hea', I should get a large iced 1 cream and 5 splenda, and a turkey sausage egg n' cheese on a uh...english muffin, and a... um... butternut donut. *Stares at you blankly*
Hey buddy! Could I get... um... Could I do a medium hot 5 cream and 5 sweet n' low, and a egg n' cheese on a bagel, and a... um... boston creme. Do you guys take apple pay?
January 5, 2026 at 10:00 AM
Hey buddy! Could I get... um... Could I do a medium hot 5 cream and 5 sweet n' low, and a egg n' cheese on a bagel, and a... um... boston creme. Do you guys take apple pay?
Hey buddy! Could I get... um... Can I have a large hot black, and a turkey sausage egg n' cheese on a bagel, and a... um... butternut donut. *Stares at you blankly*
January 4, 2026 at 10:00 AM
Hey buddy! Could I get... um... Can I have a large hot black, and a turkey sausage egg n' cheese on a bagel, and a... um... butternut donut. *Stares at you blankly*
Mornin' bud, my usual, please n' thanks. What? You don't know me? Uh... Do you guys have stevia? No? Uh... a medium hot 5 n 3, and a sausage egg n' cheese on a bagel, and a... um... chocolate frosted with jimmies. *hands you gift card for wrong establishment*
January 3, 2026 at 10:00 AM
Mornin' bud, my usual, please n' thanks. What? You don't know me? Uh... Do you guys have stevia? No? Uh... a medium hot 5 n 3, and a sausage egg n' cheese on a bagel, and a... um... chocolate frosted with jimmies. *hands you gift card for wrong establishment*
*slight head nod* Could I get... um... Could I do a lahge iced 5 sweet n' low, and a bacon egg n' cheese on a uh...english muffin, and a... um... butternut donut with jimmies. *blows cigarette smoke in your face*
January 2, 2026 at 10:00 AM
*slight head nod* Could I get... um... Could I do a lahge iced 5 sweet n' low, and a bacon egg n' cheese on a uh...english muffin, and a... um... butternut donut with jimmies. *blows cigarette smoke in your face*
*slight head nod* Uh... It's wicked cold out hea', I should get a lahge iced 4 equal, and a turkey sausage egg n' cheese on a uh...english muffin, and a... um... strawberry frosted with jimmies. *Gives you an annoyed expression without saying a word.*
January 1, 2026 at 10:00 AM
*slight head nod* Uh... It's wicked cold out hea', I should get a lahge iced 4 equal, and a turkey sausage egg n' cheese on a uh...english muffin, and a... um... strawberry frosted with jimmies. *Gives you an annoyed expression without saying a word.*
Mornin' bud, my usual, please n' thanks. What? You don't know me? Uh... Could I do a large hot black, and a bacon egg n' cheese on a bagel, and a... um... vanilla frosted with jimmies. *Stares at you blankly*
December 31, 2025 at 10:00 AM
Mornin' bud, my usual, please n' thanks. What? You don't know me? Uh... Could I do a large hot black, and a bacon egg n' cheese on a bagel, and a... um... vanilla frosted with jimmies. *Stares at you blankly*
Hey pal! Uh... Do you guys have pats? No? Uh... a lahge iced 2 n 4, and a egg n' cheese on a uh...english muffin, and a... um... butternut donut with jimmies. *blows cigarette smoke in your face*
December 30, 2025 at 10:00 AM
Hey pal! Uh... Do you guys have pats? No? Uh... a lahge iced 2 n 4, and a egg n' cheese on a uh...english muffin, and a... um... butternut donut with jimmies. *blows cigarette smoke in your face*
Mornin' bud, my usual, please n' thanks. What? You don't know me? Could I get... um... Can I have a large hot 4 n 4, and a egg n' cheese on a bagel, and a... um... chocolate frosted with jimmies. Umm... can you break this hundred?
December 29, 2025 at 10:00 AM
Mornin' bud, my usual, please n' thanks. What? You don't know me? Could I get... um... Can I have a large hot 4 n 4, and a egg n' cheese on a bagel, and a... um... chocolate frosted with jimmies. Umm... can you break this hundred?
Hello? Uh... Could I get uh.... a medium iced 4 oatmilk and 1 splenda, and a egg n' cheese on a uh...english muffin, and a... um... boston creme with jimmies. *Stares at you blankly*
December 28, 2025 at 10:00 AM
Hello? Uh... Could I get uh.... a medium iced 4 oatmilk and 1 splenda, and a egg n' cheese on a uh...english muffin, and a... um... boston creme with jimmies. *Stares at you blankly*
Mornin'. Uh... It's wicked cold out hea', I should get a lahge iced 2 oatmilk and 3 sugahs, and a bacon egg n' cheese on a uh...english muffin, and a... um... old fashioned. *hands you gift card for wrong establishment*
December 27, 2025 at 10:00 AM
Mornin'. Uh... It's wicked cold out hea', I should get a lahge iced 2 oatmilk and 3 sugahs, and a bacon egg n' cheese on a uh...english muffin, and a... um... old fashioned. *hands you gift card for wrong establishment*
Hello? Could I get... um... Can I have a small iced 5 cream, and a egg n' cheese on a bagel, and a... um... chocolate frosted with jimmies. Thanks!
December 26, 2025 at 10:00 AM
Hello? Could I get... um... Can I have a small iced 5 cream, and a egg n' cheese on a bagel, and a... um... chocolate frosted with jimmies. Thanks!
How's it goin'. Uh... It's wicked cold out hea', I should get a large hot regulah, and a turkey sausage egg n' cheese on a croissant, and a... um... chocolate frosted with jimmies. *Gives you an annoyed expression without saying a word.*
December 25, 2025 at 10:00 AM
How's it goin'. Uh... It's wicked cold out hea', I should get a large hot regulah, and a turkey sausage egg n' cheese on a croissant, and a... um... chocolate frosted with jimmies. *Gives you an annoyed expression without saying a word.*
*slight head nod* Could I get... um... Could I get uh.... a large hot regular, and a bacon egg n' cheese on a uh...english muffin, and a... um... butternut donut with jimmies. Keep the change, thanks bud.
December 24, 2025 at 10:00 AM
*slight head nod* Could I get... um... Could I get uh.... a large hot regular, and a bacon egg n' cheese on a uh...english muffin, and a... um... butternut donut with jimmies. Keep the change, thanks bud.
Hey buddy! Could I get... um... Can I have a small hot black, and a egg n' cheese on a bagel, and a... um... vanilla creme donut. *Gives you an annoyed expression without saying a word.*
December 23, 2025 at 10:00 AM
Hey buddy! Could I get... um... Can I have a small hot black, and a egg n' cheese on a bagel, and a... um... vanilla creme donut. *Gives you an annoyed expression without saying a word.*
How's it goin' buddy, what's the freshest brew? Uh... Can I have a small hot 1 n 1, and a egg n' cheese on a croissant, and a... um... boston creme with jimmies. Just lost all my money betting on the bruins, woulda tipped ya otherwise.
December 22, 2025 at 10:00 AM
How's it goin' buddy, what's the freshest brew? Uh... Can I have a small hot 1 n 1, and a egg n' cheese on a croissant, and a... um... boston creme with jimmies. Just lost all my money betting on the bruins, woulda tipped ya otherwise.
*slight head nod* Could I get... um... Could I get uh.... a small iced 3 cream, and a sausage egg n' cheese on a uh...english muffin, and a... um... chocolate cream donut. *hands you a few crusty pennies* Thanks pal.
December 21, 2025 at 10:00 AM
*slight head nod* Could I get... um... Could I get uh.... a small iced 3 cream, and a sausage egg n' cheese on a uh...english muffin, and a... um... chocolate cream donut. *hands you a few crusty pennies* Thanks pal.
How's it goin' buddy, what's the freshest brew? Uh... Could I get uh.... a small hot 3 cream and 5 sweet n' low, and a bacon egg n' cheese on a bagel, and a... um... chocolate frosted with jimmies. *Stares at you blankly*
December 20, 2025 at 10:00 AM
How's it goin' buddy, what's the freshest brew? Uh... Could I get uh.... a small hot 3 cream and 5 sweet n' low, and a bacon egg n' cheese on a bagel, and a... um... chocolate frosted with jimmies. *Stares at you blankly*
*slight head nod* Uh... Could I do a lahge iced 4 cream and 5 stevia, and a egg n' cheese on a croissant, and a... um... boston creme. *hands you a few crusty pennies* Thanks pal.
December 19, 2025 at 10:00 AM
*slight head nod* Uh... Could I do a lahge iced 4 cream and 5 stevia, and a egg n' cheese on a croissant, and a... um... boston creme. *hands you a few crusty pennies* Thanks pal.