mattbexp
@mattbexp.bsky.social
Call me Christmas cuz I only come once a year 😩
it hurts
it hurts
December 25, 2025 at 6:14 PM
Call me Christmas cuz I only come once a year 😩
it hurts
it hurts
babe im gonna grinch
December 7, 2025 at 10:33 PM
babe im gonna grinch
Reposted by mattbexp
me looking at how the decomposing pumpkin is destroying my professional and personal career that I worked so hard for in the span of like 3 days
April 9, 2025 at 4:35 PM
me looking at how the decomposing pumpkin is destroying my professional and personal career that I worked so hard for in the span of like 3 days
They should’ve called it the “Super Nintendo Switch” instead of the “Nintendo Switch 2.” I just thought of that a couple minutes ago and now I’m mad
April 5, 2025 at 5:23 PM
They should’ve called it the “Super Nintendo Switch” instead of the “Nintendo Switch 2.” I just thought of that a couple minutes ago and now I’m mad
What’s brappening forum
April 3, 2025 at 8:13 PM
What’s brappening forum
Reposted by mattbexp
It will always be my goal to be the friend that says “not when I’m done with it” when extra virgin olive oil gets brought up in conversations. Because, erm, I’m kinda wacky like that 🤪
April 2, 2025 at 4:24 PM
It will always be my goal to be the friend that says “not when I’m done with it” when extra virgin olive oil gets brought up in conversations. Because, erm, I’m kinda wacky like that 🤪
Reposted by mattbexp
lunar calendar? buddy, we're on earth
February 9, 2025 at 1:18 AM
lunar calendar? buddy, we're on earth
GILFs be like: “one two three four i declare gum war 😩”
January 26, 2025 at 1:27 AM
GILFs be like: “one two three four i declare gum war 😩”
RIP OG Tik Tok, 9/20/2016-1/18/2025. You had a good run 🕊️🪽🪽
January 20, 2025 at 3:21 AM
RIP OG Tik Tok, 9/20/2016-1/18/2025. You had a good run 🕊️🪽🪽
she be spinning on my Euler’s dick
January 12, 2025 at 10:10 PM
she be spinning on my Euler’s dick
Your honor? My client in fact did NOT juju on that beat!
*the whole room gasps as I slam the folder down on the table*
*the whole room gasps as I slam the folder down on the table*
January 4, 2025 at 6:53 PM
Your honor? My client in fact did NOT juju on that beat!
*the whole room gasps as I slam the folder down on the table*
*the whole room gasps as I slam the folder down on the table*
The new Indiana Jones game is pretty good. Can’t wait for the sequel tho, The Terrible Square
December 15, 2024 at 5:15 PM
The new Indiana Jones game is pretty good. Can’t wait for the sequel tho, The Terrible Square
Has anybody tried math before? Because I’m tryna get hy on potenuse nahmsayin 😩
December 10, 2024 at 9:04 PM
Has anybody tried math before? Because I’m tryna get hy on potenuse nahmsayin 😩
Here at Marvel, we are proud to announce our 23,579th addition to the roster of heroes already on Disney+plus (no ads edition), Fart-Man! Tune in to our special presentation next week to see the progress of the AI-driven spinoff show, Piss-Girl!
December 10, 2024 at 3:07 AM
Here at Marvel, we are proud to announce our 23,579th addition to the roster of heroes already on Disney+plus (no ads edition), Fart-Man! Tune in to our special presentation next week to see the progress of the AI-driven spinoff show, Piss-Girl!
I got a new pitch for a hallmark Christmas movie… a businessman/businesswoman discovers generosity and “holiday spirit” (falling in love with the other sex is optional)
December 10, 2024 at 2:55 AM
I got a new pitch for a hallmark Christmas movie… a businessman/businesswoman discovers generosity and “holiday spirit” (falling in love with the other sex is optional)
spotify wrapped? heh more like spotify crapped amirite up top
December 5, 2024 at 12:30 AM
spotify wrapped? heh more like spotify crapped amirite up top
fart puah shit on that stank
December 3, 2024 at 4:35 AM
fart puah shit on that stank
So uhh… you got games on your phone?
December 3, 2024 at 4:30 AM
So uhh… you got games on your phone?