A lot of people think Kansas City is hated because they win a lot. In reality, there are sooooo many reasons to dislike them before winning even comes up.

I work and live in Michigan. As I start my day, hearing all the reasons the #buckeyes winning it all is illegitimate just brings an extra layer of joy to this Tuesday. Every team will buy their roster. Get over it. And The Game will matter less and less with NIL and the playoffs. Sorry, purists.

This game is yet another reminder that the best thing about Texas is that you don't have to live there.

#gobucks

My resolution for the year is to have the confidence level Limp Bizkit had when they covered "Behind Blue Eyes" by The Who.

Heard a dude say he doesn't like when his wife uses gas relief straws on their baby son because he doesn't want his son to "turn out gay."

#prochoice

Decided that since I knew so many people I work with would be on a Christmas hangover today I'd bring in energy drinks for everyone, and I can't tell you how much sick joy I find in the collective post-lunch caffeine crash.

Liv Morgan is now following me with 3 separate accounts on here. Didn't know who she was, but clearly there's something here. See you folks at the wedding.

Pickleball is pretty dumb, but I think I know why it's here. My theory is white people keep needing to invent new boring sports to say they're the best til black people come and play better than them. Tennis til the Williams. Golf til Tiger. The clock is ticking on pickleball.

I'm no conspiracy theorist, but things were a lot more chill before Starbucks made their holiday cup that pissed people off.

Messi winning the MVP is another example of how MLS doesn't seem to wanna fully shake the whole "retirement league" thing. Individual accolades mean nothing, but why not showcase a player who's young and crushing it in MLS for more than a few seasons? Tickets are selling. Now ACTUALLY grow. #crew96

Waited in line on black Friday in the snowy cold like a real consumer. Absolutely worth it.

Amigo the Devil at the Wiltern

#nowspinning

Not sure why I'm always happy to see Orlando lose. Maybe there's a rivalry with the #crew96 I made it up in my head? Maybe I want to see a Cup match between two originals? Either way, Orlando lost and that is good.

One thing you don't learn growing up is that other white people assume you're like them just because you're white. Had a lady tell me she doesn't like interracial Hallmark movies. I was annoyed at both her comment and her liking any Hallmark movies.

Be the cup and plate person for the work potluck. Simple, cheap, and a real conversation starter once people start realizing you superglued all the cups and plates together.

“this is your pilot speaking. The bad news is that I’ve fallen out of the plane. The good news is that the range on this Bluetooth headset is incredible”

My friend is really grossed out by my glove box full of banana peels. What kind of weirdo hasn't played Mario Kart?

If people can call off for opening day for hunting, I can call off for my non-existent pet deer being accidentally shot. RIP Frederick. And thanks for the day off.