Patrick Matthews
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matthewsp.bsky.social
Patrick Matthews
@matthewsp.bsky.social
3.1K followers 440 following 12K posts
Delawarean. Workforce management professional, quiz bowl enthusiast, and Microsoft Excel MVP. Philadelphia sports enjoyer. I left The Bad Place.
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matthewsp.bsky.social
December 1, 2025 at 12:42 AM
matthewsp.bsky.social
Okay normally I am appalled by your food crimes, but in this case…
November 30, 2025 at 4:52 PM
matthewsp.bsky.social
Post your favorite “Lord of the Rings” character. Wrong answers only:
November 30, 2025 at 1:52 PM
matthewsp.bsky.social
It’s just plain silly that 6-6 teams get rewarded with a bowl game.
November 30, 2025 at 12:04 AM
matthewsp.bsky.social
November 29, 2025 at 6:32 PM
matthewsp.bsky.social
Image of Japanese parliament members physically attempting to stop Judicial Affairs Committee Chairman Shinichi Yokoyama from calling for a vote on the country's immigration reform bill, repurposed as a "Would" meme
November 25, 2025 at 11:02 PM
matthewsp.bsky.social
sickos meme
November 24, 2025 at 10:51 PM
matthewsp.bsky.social
November 22, 2025 at 1:29 PM
matthewsp.bsky.social
November 22, 2025 at 1:46 AM
matthewsp.bsky.social
Eagles fan experience meme oh boy am I excited to watch my favorite team play i'm going to kill myself nice we won
November 17, 2025 at 8:14 PM
matthewsp.bsky.social
November 15, 2025 at 9:35 PM
matthewsp.bsky.social
dril tweet: issuing correction on a previous post of mine, regarding the terror group ISIL. you do not, under any circumstances, "gotta hand it to them"
November 15, 2025 at 5:01 PM
matthewsp.bsky.social
And don't forget the Rock of Chickamauga!
General George Thomas, the Rock of Chickamauga himself. Virginia's greatest Civil War general, and I will brook no disagreement on that point.
November 12, 2025 at 4:28 PM
matthewsp.bsky.social
November 9, 2025 at 7:26 PM
matthewsp.bsky.social
November 9, 2025 at 6:44 PM
matthewsp.bsky.social
November 9, 2025 at 2:00 PM
matthewsp.bsky.social
November 8, 2025 at 9:00 PM
matthewsp.bsky.social
Anakin/Padme meme A: We'll have a presser at the Four Seasons P: The Four Seasons Hotel, right? A: ... P: The hotel, right?!
November 7, 2025 at 6:54 PM
matthewsp.bsky.social
Goose chase meme template Who shot the US Marshal? Who shot the US Marshal, motherfucker?
October 21, 2025 at 10:47 PM
matthewsp.bsky.social
Damn I love a good LAMBDA expression

In this case, the expected number of teams with n wins after playing g games, assuming a typical @naqt.com card system is being used

#Excel
#quizbowl
sickos meme =LAMBDA( NumRounds, NumTeams, MAKEARRAY( NumRounds+2, NumRounds+2, LAMBDA( r, c, LET( AfterRound, r-2, NumWins, c-2, IFS( AND(r=1,c=1), "", AND(r=1,c>1), NumWins, AND(r>1,c=1), AfterRound, AND(AfterRound=0,NumWins=0), NumTeams, NumWins<=AfterRound, NumTeams*BINOM.DIST( NumWins, AfterRound, 0.5, FALSE ), TRUE, "" ) ) ) ) ) (10,AC2)
October 21, 2025 at 3:15 PM
matthewsp.bsky.social
Reminded of my last Amtrak rant
So now I just got off the phone with Amtrak. That paragon of efficiency failed to check my ticket between Wilmington, DE and Newark, NJ, so they oh-so-helpfully canceled my return home Thursday. It's straightened out now, but I am still pretty pissed off about it. Phone agent, when I finally got to the front of the queue: "You were a no-show." Me: "What the hell are you talking about, I'm calling you *from Newark*. No one ever checked my ticket." Agent: "You should always make sure you have someone check your ticket." Me: "Are you f---ing kidding me? You guys run the trains and somehow it's *my* fault no one checked my ticket?!" Best part was when he asked whether I still wanted my return trip. "Um, YEAH, I'd like to go home eventually."
October 18, 2025 at 2:48 PM
matthewsp.bsky.social
Sweet Jesus LinkedIn what is wrong with you?!
screencap of LinkedIn encouraging me to follow Katie Fucking Arrington, of all people.
October 17, 2025 at 11:21 PM
matthewsp.bsky.social
October 17, 2025 at 5:39 PM
matthewsp.bsky.social
Not as good as you think. Yes, Murk won as a write-in candidate in 2016 after losing the primary, but she led the primary in 2022.

You'd have done better mentioning Joe Lieberman. Go ahead and look him up.

Yes, this stuff happens, but it's rare. There's a reason why it's a big deal when it happens
October 15, 2025 at 8:57 PM
matthewsp.bsky.social
Move over, strippers, JFK, and Stalin
Screencap of tweet "Update your lesson plans, we have a new perfect example for Oxford commas" which quotes this other tweet: "The highlights of his waning administration include encounters with Rudy Giuliani, a healthcare disaster and a dildo collector"
October 15, 2025 at 4:25 PM