I just tell people I'm from California now.

Hello, can anybody hear me?

The Japanese know what's up.

New job opening: farmhand and fruit pickers

$14-16 an hour
40-60 hour work week
No overtime
Great for Gen Zers

Help keep American food prices low!

At my funeral, I wish for all my friends to do a speech that slowly devolves to a comedy set and just confuse my family.

Candy cane is a weird shape for a treat. I never thought, "You know what would make this taste better? A complete U-turn in my mouth."

I'm starting a business. Everyone seems to love the concept.

Monopoly money. The Adjuster is a mastermind.

I'm grateful for watching the US from afar. Happy Thanksgiving y'all.

Black Friday is stressing me out. So many savings yet so little fucks to give.

I'm convinced there's an agency that people pay to make rage-bait comments on IG posts to increase engagement.

IG reels are fun to watch but the comment section is full of 🗑️ takes that are so contrarian for the sake of it, I don't believe these ppl are real.

I heard @bsky.app kicked that stupid Tate fella so fast off the platform, he's permanently bald. I like that.