Thee Matt Lydon Writes
@mattlydonwrites.bsky.social
Writer, drawer, backyard gardener, husband of a Liz. Weaning myself off of toxic social environments and white grain products.
Maybe the real painus was the friend we made along the way... who then kicked us in the dick.
December 31, 2025 at 5:56 PM
Maybe the real painus was the friend we made along the way... who then kicked us in the dick.
Were you there when I did Dating Game as the bachelorette, channeling the late, great Jean Stapleton? At one point, I said in her Edith voice, "I contain multitudes. Walt Whitman said that!" Granted, this was more than a decade ago, and I can barely remember yesterday.
December 11, 2025 at 5:24 PM
Were you there when I did Dating Game as the bachelorette, channeling the late, great Jean Stapleton? At one point, I said in her Edith voice, "I contain multitudes. Walt Whitman said that!" Granted, this was more than a decade ago, and I can barely remember yesterday.
Mama Fratelli! I didn't know you played her, Alexis! I guess that means you ALSO did Throw Mama From The Train and Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot!
And you never ONCE mentioned this back in Philly! Humble, brilliant, AND a goddam chameleon? You're the best, A!
And you never ONCE mentioned this back in Philly! Humble, brilliant, AND a goddam chameleon? You're the best, A!
December 11, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Mama Fratelli! I didn't know you played her, Alexis! I guess that means you ALSO did Throw Mama From The Train and Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot!
And you never ONCE mentioned this back in Philly! Humble, brilliant, AND a goddam chameleon? You're the best, A!
And you never ONCE mentioned this back in Philly! Humble, brilliant, AND a goddam chameleon? You're the best, A!
I tried that. It... didn't go well. We both recovered, but haven't seen each other since 1998.
November 10, 2025 at 3:31 PM
I tried that. It... didn't go well. We both recovered, but haven't seen each other since 1998.
I live a short car ride from the Grounds for Sculpture in Hamilton, NJ, that contains a metric bunch-ton of Seward Johnson's sculpture work. I like to visit several times a year.
November 4, 2025 at 7:59 PM
I live a short car ride from the Grounds for Sculpture in Hamilton, NJ, that contains a metric bunch-ton of Seward Johnson's sculpture work. I like to visit several times a year.
Tennessee Williams most famous play, albeit in #firstdraft form. Critics lambasted him in workshops because nothing happened once the cat sat down. Just 90 minutes of cat snoozing, and ho-humming from the lone actor on stage.
November 4, 2025 at 7:55 PM
Tennessee Williams most famous play, albeit in #firstdraft form. Critics lambasted him in workshops because nothing happened once the cat sat down. Just 90 minutes of cat snoozing, and ho-humming from the lone actor on stage.
I have a side dish ready in case my dad shows up spouting his anti-immigrant, homophobic, transphobic nonsense. It's called Get STUFF(ed)ING. Essentially, it's just a full rope of kielbasa, frozen solid and covered in cornstarch, bread crumbs, and sage.
November 3, 2025 at 4:35 PM
I have a side dish ready in case my dad shows up spouting his anti-immigrant, homophobic, transphobic nonsense. It's called Get STUFF(ed)ING. Essentially, it's just a full rope of kielbasa, frozen solid and covered in cornstarch, bread crumbs, and sage.
Hail, and well met, Orange Cat!
October 27, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Hail, and well met, Orange Cat!
Before we met, I worked at Walnut Street Theatre, selling tickets over the phone. First big musical of the season? RAGS, which was a musical based on that very thing. The musical was SLIGHTLY less tragic than the actual event. This was around October of 2000.
October 24, 2025 at 3:38 PM
Before we met, I worked at Walnut Street Theatre, selling tickets over the phone. First big musical of the season? RAGS, which was a musical based on that very thing. The musical was SLIGHTLY less tragic than the actual event. This was around October of 2000.
As a kid growing up in suburban Philadelphia in the 1980s, it was all rec room, all the time. Not that I had one in MY house, mind you. It was the kid down the street, Jason Staples, that had a rec room downstairs in his grandparents' house.
October 17, 2025 at 2:56 PM
As a kid growing up in suburban Philadelphia in the 1980s, it was all rec room, all the time. Not that I had one in MY house, mind you. It was the kid down the street, Jason Staples, that had a rec room downstairs in his grandparents' house.
I will never surrender as part of the CiCi's Partisans Resistance League! And if we are defeated... well... I guess I'll just latch on to my part time job at Defiance Pierogi of Krakow.
October 9, 2025 at 2:14 PM
I will never surrender as part of the CiCi's Partisans Resistance League! And if we are defeated... well... I guess I'll just latch on to my part time job at Defiance Pierogi of Krakow.
I tried Ass-o-metric exercises to tighten up this Blobbod to Granddad bod status. it left me rounder than before, but now I get complimented for being "thicc." On the whole, a positive, I think.
October 1, 2025 at 2:22 PM
I tried Ass-o-metric exercises to tighten up this Blobbod to Granddad bod status. it left me rounder than before, but now I get complimented for being "thicc." On the whole, a positive, I think.
I like this notion of Divorced™ being an energy. A kid I knew in 3rd grade had what I'm now realizing is Divorced™ energy, all the way back in 1986.
September 19, 2025 at 3:01 PM
I like this notion of Divorced™ being an energy. A kid I knew in 3rd grade had what I'm now realizing is Divorced™ energy, all the way back in 1986.
I particularly like the "wire mother" bit. Harry Harlow would be proud.
Also, can I get in on this Divorced™ branding, or is that off-limits since I'm remarried?
Also, can I get in on this Divorced™ branding, or is that off-limits since I'm remarried?
September 19, 2025 at 2:30 PM
I particularly like the "wire mother" bit. Harry Harlow would be proud.
Also, can I get in on this Divorced™ branding, or is that off-limits since I'm remarried?
Also, can I get in on this Divorced™ branding, or is that off-limits since I'm remarried?
This dude needs to get into his dad's airship and fly off into a round the world adventure that would make Jules Verne blush.
September 16, 2025 at 3:47 PM
This dude needs to get into his dad's airship and fly off into a round the world adventure that would make Jules Verne blush.
SCUM! Scatological Conservatives Uber.. Mall-es?
September 15, 2025 at 8:18 PM
SCUM! Scatological Conservatives Uber.. Mall-es?
I'll bet that your 8 old can write a more strongly worded letter that ACTUALLY gets a rise out of Republicans/MAGAts. Then again, I'm sure your children contain far more compassion, integrity, and honesty when it comes right down to it.
If all else fails, though, poop jokes can take the day!
If all else fails, though, poop jokes can take the day!
September 15, 2025 at 3:39 PM
I'll bet that your 8 old can write a more strongly worded letter that ACTUALLY gets a rise out of Republicans/MAGAts. Then again, I'm sure your children contain far more compassion, integrity, and honesty when it comes right down to it.
If all else fails, though, poop jokes can take the day!
If all else fails, though, poop jokes can take the day!
Thanks, Alexis. To be clear, I wasn't approached/groomed, but looking back on how that priest behaved around me and some others, it may have only been a matter of time. I was too naive at the time to realize what would have been happening until it was too late.
September 12, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Thanks, Alexis. To be clear, I wasn't approached/groomed, but looking back on how that priest behaved around me and some others, it may have only been a matter of time. I was too naive at the time to realize what would have been happening until it was too late.
... all this to say that my abandonment of that institution was a welcome process, hard as it was internally. No joke, no bits, and no way will I ever latch on to an institution like that ever again. There is only one religion=control.
September 12, 2025 at 11:18 PM
... all this to say that my abandonment of that institution was a welcome process, hard as it was internally. No joke, no bits, and no way will I ever latch on to an institution like that ever again. There is only one religion=control.
The parish I belonged to in the 80s and (nominally) in the 90s was kind of ground zero for a round of CSA, led by a priest who "assisted" with the altar boys at the parish. He never saw justice, but was constantly shuffled around the archdiocese and was "drying out" in church-owned rubber rooms.
September 12, 2025 at 11:18 PM
The parish I belonged to in the 80s and (nominally) in the 90s was kind of ground zero for a round of CSA, led by a priest who "assisted" with the altar boys at the parish. He never saw justice, but was constantly shuffled around the archdiocese and was "drying out" in church-owned rubber rooms.
This reminds me of the kind lunch lady who worked at my high school. Sometimes, she even gave me free stuff, when I was short on money from my after school job. I wonder whatever happened to Agnes Spreeshooter-Kidpoisoner?
September 11, 2025 at 3:29 PM
This reminds me of the kind lunch lady who worked at my high school. Sometimes, she even gave me free stuff, when I was short on money from my after school job. I wonder whatever happened to Agnes Spreeshooter-Kidpoisoner?