@mattmorgan.bsky.social
The most woke I get is getting deeply uncomfortable when Buddy the Elf is calling Peter Dinklage an elf over and over.
December 24, 2025 at 3:06 AM
The most woke I get is getting deeply uncomfortable when Buddy the Elf is calling Peter Dinklage an elf over and over.
We need a schaudenfreude style word for when a business owner is really rude to you and then you check the reviews and everyone is like “oh yeah that specific guy is an asshole.”
December 24, 2025 at 1:33 AM
We need a schaudenfreude style word for when a business owner is really rude to you and then you check the reviews and everyone is like “oh yeah that specific guy is an asshole.”
I need an Elf sequel starring Amy Sedaris’s character who is declawing her friend’s eight kittens for no charge.
December 23, 2025 at 11:13 PM
I need an Elf sequel starring Amy Sedaris’s character who is declawing her friend’s eight kittens for no charge.
What’s a technology that the world “evolved past” that you thought was actually better? Here’s mine.
December 23, 2025 at 10:24 PM
What’s a technology that the world “evolved past” that you thought was actually better? Here’s mine.
I actually saw Jingle All the Way in the theatre. So, I'm a little more cultured than most people.
December 23, 2025 at 5:22 PM
I actually saw Jingle All the Way in the theatre. So, I'm a little more cultured than most people.
I always thought my ability to convincingly do the “Credit card? You got it” from Home Alone 2 would come more in handy as an adult.
December 23, 2025 at 4:55 AM
I always thought my ability to convincingly do the “Credit card? You got it” from Home Alone 2 would come more in handy as an adult.
Marv and Harry robbed that whole neighborhood blind but couldn’t let Kevin go and got caught. That’s hubris for you. And bloodlust.
two men in a car with the words crow bars up in yellow
ALT: two men in a car with the words crow bars up in yellow
media.tenor.com
December 23, 2025 at 2:49 AM
Marv and Harry robbed that whole neighborhood blind but couldn’t let Kevin go and got caught. That’s hubris for you. And bloodlust.
@dominos-pizza.bsky.social erroneously swapped out ground beef for black olives on my pizza and I can’t tell you how deflating that is. There’s nothing more “not ground beef” than black olives.
December 23, 2025 at 2:21 AM
@dominos-pizza.bsky.social erroneously swapped out ground beef for black olives on my pizza and I can’t tell you how deflating that is. There’s nothing more “not ground beef” than black olives.
Has there ever been a less convincing movie couple than Scott Calvin and his ex-wife? I could never imagine them getting married, even if only to get divorced.
December 22, 2025 at 6:07 PM
Has there ever been a less convincing movie couple than Scott Calvin and his ex-wife? I could never imagine them getting married, even if only to get divorced.
Has there ever been a person less convincing than Joyce Byers in the Russian uniform?
December 21, 2025 at 4:37 AM
Has there ever been a person less convincing than Joyce Byers in the Russian uniform?
Wait Yukon Cornelius had a gun!?!
December 20, 2025 at 6:00 AM
Wait Yukon Cornelius had a gun!?!
For Halloween next year I’m going as Scott Calvin in a jacket, boxers, and boots.
December 6, 2025 at 9:38 PM
For Halloween next year I’m going as Scott Calvin in a jacket, boxers, and boots.
Have we had the Republican talking head defense of Ebenezer Scrooge yet?
December 6, 2025 at 4:47 AM
Have we had the Republican talking head defense of Ebenezer Scrooge yet?
Come in and know me better man.
December 6, 2025 at 4:43 AM
Come in and know me better man.
Perry Como, amirite?
December 5, 2025 at 4:31 PM
Perry Como, amirite?
The GameStop near my house was replaced by a Mathnasium. You call this progress?!?
December 1, 2025 at 12:00 AM
The GameStop near my house was replaced by a Mathnasium. You call this progress?!?
During my annual rewatching of Survivor Series 1990, I realized the current Supreme Court is very much a pro wrestling referee. You can do illegal things as long as you stop at the count of 10 but then you’re allowed to restart doing the illegal thing for another count of 10 with no penalty.
November 28, 2025 at 7:05 PM
During my annual rewatching of Survivor Series 1990, I realized the current Supreme Court is very much a pro wrestling referee. You can do illegal things as long as you stop at the count of 10 but then you’re allowed to restart doing the illegal thing for another count of 10 with no penalty.
We don’t talk enough about how Horatio Sanz plays the orderly in Bellevue in Miracle on 34th Street. Just an insanely random role for a guy like Sanz.
November 28, 2025 at 5:48 AM
We don’t talk enough about how Horatio Sanz plays the orderly in Bellevue in Miracle on 34th Street. Just an insanely random role for a guy like Sanz.
It’s crazy how Russia coded Shoppers Express is in the 90s version of Miracle on 34th Street
November 28, 2025 at 4:57 AM
It’s crazy how Russia coded Shoppers Express is in the 90s version of Miracle on 34th Street
Everytime I see Jewel perform I think of that time Kurt Loder called her out in an interview for misusing the word casualty in a song.
November 27, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Everytime I see Jewel perform I think of that time Kurt Loder called her out in an interview for misusing the word casualty in a song.
Six Seven is young people’s way of asserting power in a word that’s spiraling out of control. Or something.
November 19, 2025 at 2:30 AM
Six Seven is young people’s way of asserting power in a word that’s spiraling out of control. Or something.
Motion to permanently change “Fezziwig” to “Fozziwig” in all future incarnations of A Christmas Carol.
November 18, 2025 at 2:56 AM
Motion to permanently change “Fezziwig” to “Fozziwig” in all future incarnations of A Christmas Carol.
I saw a guy in my neighborhood today who looked like when Scott Calvin is still in denial about being Santa in The Santa Clause. Red sweatsuit, white undershirt, white hair, freshly shaved face. An early Christmas season treat.
November 15, 2025 at 7:46 PM
I saw a guy in my neighborhood today who looked like when Scott Calvin is still in denial about being Santa in The Santa Clause. Red sweatsuit, white undershirt, white hair, freshly shaved face. An early Christmas season treat.
Su su su, su su su, su su su su su su, Sugartown.
November 6, 2025 at 1:44 AM
Su su su, su su su, su su su su su su, Sugartown.
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