mattoswaltva.bsky.social
Matt Oswalt
@mattoswaltva.bsky.social
11K followers 68 following 130 posts
remember me? We met on Twitter and would get together every Tuesday afternoon at the Motel 6 outside Fresno.
Posts Media Videos Starter Packs
mattoswaltva.bsky.social
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · Jul 4
Happy 4th of July or as dogs call it, K9/11
5 10 140
mattoswaltva.bsky.social
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · Jul 2
BREAKING: Alderaan Senator lobbies to change name of Death Star to "Boom Moon"
17 98 750
mattoswaltva.bsky.social
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · Jul 1
guy wearing MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN HAT and TRUMP 2028 neck tattoo at Piggly Wiggly finding out his food stamps are no longer valid
2 8 100
mattoswaltva.bsky.social
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · Jun 27
suspect identified as Greg Gardens

(forgive me, the world is collapsing and all I've got in my arsenal is a $40 gift card to Cheesecake Factory and obscure movie references that maybe 10 people will get)
9 3 51
mattoswaltva.bsky.social
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · Jun 17
the McRib must be back
1 1 23
mattoswaltva.bsky.social
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · Jun 14
they should show it as a double feature with Scum
4
mattoswaltva.bsky.social
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · Jun 14
Trump upon hearing the assassinations in Minnesota have upstaged his big boy birthday parade
4 2 61
mattoswaltva.bsky.social
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · Jun 10
unlike Vietnam or Afghanistan at least the Marines coming to.L.A. know exactly what this fight is all about
570 5.3K 23K
mattoswaltva.bsky.social
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · Jun 10
FOX News desperately trying to make a Rodney King riot out of a Donna Martin Graduates chant
2 28 150
mattoswaltva.bsky.social
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · Jun 7
this YouTube video of Stretch Armstrong in a microwave has over 60 million views
I swear if YouTube was around when I was a kid I'd be richer than Mr. Beast
6 2 77
mattoswaltva.bsky.social
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · Jun 6
don't worry everyone, I'm certain this feud between the adderall junkie with the nuclear codes and the ketamine addict with all our social security numbers is just a tiny bump in the road towards American prosperity and greatness
13 150 830
mattoswaltva.bsky.social
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · Jun 6
it's like the bees from My Girl have turned on each other and I'm trying to figure out which one to root for
3 6 98
mattoswaltva.bsky.social
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · May 27
the only certainties in life are death, taxes, and if you sit at an outdoor café in the valley Jay Leno will drive by
6 11 150
mattoswaltva.bsky.social
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · May 15
saw a bobcat on my run this morning but didn't have a camera to document it so I bought this t-shirt to commemorate the occasion
6 71
mattoswaltva.bsky.social
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · May 13
1184 BC - in one of the most cunning military maneuvers ever conceived the Greeks build a large wooden horse as a gift to Troy who are unaware soldiers hide inside ready to to sack the city and end the Trojan War

2025 -
onestpress.onestnetwork.com
Olga Nesterova @onestpress.onestnetwork.com · May 13
As part of the red-carpet treatment, Saudi officials arranged for a fully operational mobile McDonald’s unit to accompany President Trump during his stay.

According to local reports, the unit was set up near the Saudi Royal Court.
7 8 79
mattoswaltva.bsky.social
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · May 11
Happy Mother's Day to my mom who on my 10th birthday took me and my friends to see Xanadu because she thought it was a sequel to Star Wars
12 3 160
mattoswaltva.bsky.social
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · May 10
flyby outside my window in honor of me getting Wordle in just two tries
17 9 620
mattoswaltva.bsky.social
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · May 9
Yuma, if only to hear him recite Psalm 3:10
2
mattoswaltva.bsky.social
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · May 9
American Pope sounds like a screenplay that's been bouncing around Hollywood for decades with everyone from Robert Redford to Pauly Shore attached at some point
27 58 650
mattoswaltva.bsky.social
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · May 7
take any side street in North Hollywood and you'll instantly be transported into a 1970's educational film about the dangers of hitchhiking
MattOswaltPhoto.com
5 6 110
mattoswaltva.bsky.social
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · May 6
he didn't even acknowledge what I did for him, but that's ok, a real hero operates in the shadows.
2 3
mattoswaltva.bsky.social
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · May 6
delivery guy on scooter pulled right in front of me but thanks to my superhuman dexterity I was able to swerve around him sparing his life and all the precious Thai food he was entrusted with.
I feel like my work here on Planet Earth is done.
6 2 110
mattoswaltva.bsky.social
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · May 5
his duet of 'Too-Ra-Loo-Ra-Loo-Ral' with Tom Skerritt after they've been cocooned is a show stopper
1 6
mattoswaltva.bsky.social
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · May 4
when someone wishes me a Happy May the Fourth...
10 9 120
mattoswaltva.bsky.social
Matt Oswalt @mattoswaltva.bsky.social · Apr 30
you can keep your PhD's, I want a leader with the courage to stare directly into a solar eclipse until it backs down
3 21 130