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mattruby.bsky.social
Matt Ruby
@mattruby.bsky.social
80 followers 37 following 1.4K posts
Comedian/Writer. Join over 16k subscribers and get my funny newsletter in your inbox: https://mattruby.substack.com/
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mattruby.bsky.social
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · May 15
Get my Substack in your inbox. Jokes, videos, essays, and other groovy goodies. Over 16K subscribers.

“The best emailed comedy newsletter coming from anyone today."
-Robert Bostick, HumorPoint

📰 mattruby.substack.com
mattruby.bsky.social
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 11m
🍆s caused by ED pills should be called "fauxners."
mattruby.bsky.social
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 20h
I demand accountability from everyone who made me listen to some "NFTs are the future" bullsh*t.
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mattruby.bsky.social
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 23h
Croutons are very zen. They are bread that’s given up their attachment to freshness. “Going stale isn't a problem if you were meant to be stale all along.”
mattruby.bsky.social
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 23h
ON CROWDWORK:

@birbigs: “Crowdwork is a crutch. It’s what you do when it isn’t working.”

@ryanhamiltone: “Where are you from? Are you on a date? What do you do for a living? Nice shirt. Master these four and you can become a great modern comedian.”

funnyhow.substack.com/p/crowdwork-...
Crowdwork vs. written jokes
Fascinating exchange between Birbigs and Ryan Hamilton.
funnyhow.substack.com
mattruby.bsky.social
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 1d
On Israel, Gaza, generational warfare, and Bari Weiss: mattruby.substack.com/p/if-you-liv...
If you lived in their timeline, you’d think how they think
On Israel, Gaza, generational warfare, and Bari Weiss.
mattruby.substack.com
mattruby.bsky.social
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 1d
• Israel attacks Gaza: No problem
• Israel attacks Lebanon: No problem
• Israel attacks Iran: No problem ("actually, we'll help!")
• Israel attacks country giving Trump a $400M plane: END THE WAR NOW
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mattruby.bsky.social
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 1d
Read the rest: open.substack.com/pub/mattruby...
If you lived in their timeline, you’d think how they think
On Israel, Gaza, generational warfare, and Bari Weiss.
open.substack.com
mattruby.bsky.social
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 1d
🆕 SUBSTACK: "What Bari Weiss and The Free Press offers rich white men is priceless: the sense that they’re the real victims now. You can’t put a price tag on that. (OK, you can...it’s $150 million.)"

On Israel, Gaza, generational warfare, and Bari Weiss...

👇 LINK BELOW 👇
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mattruby.bsky.social
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 2d
The most surprising victory in packaging design history has gotta be that honey comes delivered almost exclusively in plastic bears.
mattruby.bsky.social
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 2d
“The most beautiful woman in the world? Some guy is tired of having sex with her.” That’s how I feel about Americans who complain endlessly about America.
mattruby.bsky.social
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 2d
There should be a German word for the feeling you get when your phone shows you your average screen time for the week.
mattruby.bsky.social
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 2d
If you’re upset about Bad Bunny at the Super Bowl, I got some bad news for you about ⚾️.
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#nfl #mlb #mlbplayoffs #football #baseball #badbunny
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mattruby.bsky.social
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 2d
A Trump-loving Jew buys CBS and installs a pro-Israeli propagandist to head CBS News – I’m sure this will work out great for us Jews and won't fuel conspiracy fires at all. Gulp.
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mattruby.bsky.social
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 2d
We ever gonna meet the Mormon groyper's (alleged) trans girlfriend? Y'know, the one who watched him engrave bullets. Sure seems like that'd be a good story for the press to investigate. Surely there are witnesses who saw 'em together at Drag Queen Assassination Hour or whatever.
mattruby.bsky.social
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 2d
The incredible gift that Bari Weiss and the Free Press offers rich white men is allowing them to feel like they are the true victims in society right now.
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mattruby.bsky.social
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 3d
Getting your science from someone who hawks supplements is like getting hunting tips from a vegan.
mattruby.bsky.social
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 3d
“Pretty cool.”
-The devil
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mattruby.bsky.social
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 3d
SEATTLE 11/20. I will needle you.

Tix: www.ticketweb.com/event/matt-r...
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mattruby.bsky.social
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 3d
If they're this upset about a Hispanic guy getting airtime during the Super Bowl, they're really gonna be mad when they find out what's happening in the baseball playoffs.
mattruby.bsky.social
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 3d
Zohran lives rent free in the minds of a lot of Jews which is a double win for him considering how much he loves affordable rent.
mattruby.bsky.social
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 3d
I believe there are only two kinds of people in the world: Those who love Indian food and those who don't. Guess you could say I'm naan binary.
mattruby.bsky.social
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 3d
I hate needles so much that I exercise.
mattruby.bsky.social
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 4d
When a police officer won't admit he's gay, it's a real out cop cop-out.
mattruby.bsky.social
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 5d
Anytime someone tries to talk to me about the weather, I feel slightly insulted. Like, this is the best you think we can do?
mattruby.bsky.social
Matt Ruby @mattruby.bsky.social · 5d
everybody's so worried about china yet meanwhile korea is taking over soap operas, movies, food, and pop music and ain't no one saying 똥
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