Matt Ruby
@mattruby.bsky.social
Comedian/Writer. Join over 16k subscribers and get my funny newsletter in your inbox: https://mattruby.substack.com/
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Matt Ruby
@mattruby.bsky.social
· May 15
Get my Substack in your inbox. Jokes, videos, essays, and other groovy goodies. Over 16K subscribers.
“The best emailed comedy newsletter coming from anyone today."
-Robert Bostick, HumorPoint
📰 mattruby.substack.com
“The best emailed comedy newsletter coming from anyone today."
-Robert Bostick, HumorPoint
📰 mattruby.substack.com
Amazing that we've got warships in the *Caribbean*, the spiciest state is *Minnesota*, and the guy in charge of medicine *doesn't believe in medicine*.
January 10, 2026 at 7:53 PM
Amazing that we've got warships in the *Caribbean*, the spiciest state is *Minnesota*, and the guy in charge of medicine *doesn't believe in medicine*.
This whole plane can't eat peanuts because of one person! I mean, who's the terrorist now?
January 10, 2026 at 7:43 PM
This whole plane can't eat peanuts because of one person! I mean, who's the terrorist now?
Idea: An allergy restaurant! The server just talks to you about your allergies for 45 minutes...and actually, it’s therapy.
January 9, 2026 at 8:46 PM
Idea: An allergy restaurant! The server just talks to you about your allergies for 45 minutes...and actually, it’s therapy.
Anyone know how to contact Renee Good's family? I sell sparklers and t-shirt cannons IDEAL for funerals. Just wondering if they wanna get in on Erika Kirk's racket.
P.S. Got a videographer on call if they wanna do a weeping-on-the-casket TikTok too.
P.S. Got a videographer on call if they wanna do a weeping-on-the-casket TikTok too.
January 8, 2026 at 8:31 PM
Anyone know how to contact Renee Good's family? I sell sparklers and t-shirt cannons IDEAL for funerals. Just wondering if they wanna get in on Erika Kirk's racket.
P.S. Got a videographer on call if they wanna do a weeping-on-the-casket TikTok too.
P.S. Got a videographer on call if they wanna do a weeping-on-the-casket TikTok too.
Me watching standup crowdwork clips go viral must be how classical musicians feel when this pops up in their timeline...
January 8, 2026 at 7:45 PM
Me watching standup crowdwork clips go viral must be how classical musicians feel when this pops up in their timeline...
🎶 Just wrap your legs around this LCD display / And strap your hands 'cross my lithium battery 🎶
-2026 Bruce Springsteen
-2026 Bruce Springsteen
January 8, 2026 at 4:50 PM
🎶 Just wrap your legs around this LCD display / And strap your hands 'cross my lithium battery 🎶
-2026 Bruce Springsteen
-2026 Bruce Springsteen
We all know these poet mothers of three are the perfect cover for Antifa.
January 8, 2026 at 5:55 AM
We all know these poet mothers of three are the perfect cover for Antifa.
"This machine is defective and not working as it should."
January 8, 2026 at 5:40 AM
"This machine is defective and not working as it should."
Not discussed nearly enough: how poorly trained these ICE goons are. Best case is they're overweight, masked klutzes doing some kinda Keystone Cops/Benny Hill routine. Worst case they're just straight up murdering a woman when all they had to do was take two steps to the right.
January 8, 2026 at 5:36 AM
Not discussed nearly enough: how poorly trained these ICE goons are. Best case is they're overweight, masked klutzes doing some kinda Keystone Cops/Benny Hill routine. Worst case they're just straight up murdering a woman when all they had to do was take two steps to the right.
“White Lotus” creator Mike White spent 25 years working on failed TV shows: “I just feel like I’m like a surfer who’s been in the ocean for 25 years and suddenly caught a wave. And you know, if you stay out there long enough, you’re going to catch a wave.”
👇
funnyhow.substack.com/p/nipsey-hus...
👇
funnyhow.substack.com/p/nipsey-hus...
Nipsey Hussle and Joe Budden on succeeding as an artist
How to win the "making it" marathon.
funnyhow.substack.com
January 7, 2026 at 9:30 PM
“White Lotus” creator Mike White spent 25 years working on failed TV shows: “I just feel like I’m like a surfer who’s been in the ocean for 25 years and suddenly caught a wave. And you know, if you stay out there long enough, you’re going to catch a wave.”
👇
funnyhow.substack.com/p/nipsey-hus...
👇
funnyhow.substack.com/p/nipsey-hus...
“What you need to understand is how much oil this box contains.”
-Pandora
-Pandora
January 7, 2026 at 8:56 PM
“What you need to understand is how much oil this box contains.”
-Pandora
-Pandora
[Carrie on laptop voice] I couldn't help but wonder: If every woman I know is on antidepressants, have we pathologized being a woman?
January 6, 2026 at 11:28 PM
[Carrie on laptop voice] I couldn't help but wonder: If every woman I know is on antidepressants, have we pathologized being a woman?
Photographer Christopher Anderson: "Cut through the stage-managed image to reveal something more real...Above all else, [I] try to cut through the image that politics want to project and get at something that is more truthful."
👇
workingmethods.substack.com/p/christophe...
👇
workingmethods.substack.com/p/christophe...
Christopher Anderson: Cut through the stage-managed image
"Reveal something more real."
workingmethods.substack.com
January 6, 2026 at 9:03 PM
Photographer Christopher Anderson: "Cut through the stage-managed image to reveal something more real...Above all else, [I] try to cut through the image that politics want to project and get at something that is more truthful."
👇
workingmethods.substack.com/p/christophe...
👇
workingmethods.substack.com/p/christophe...
Coming soon to FUNNY HOW (my Substack about doing standup). Subscribe here:
funnyhow.substack.com
funnyhow.substack.com
January 6, 2026 at 7:05 PM
Coming soon to FUNNY HOW (my Substack about doing standup). Subscribe here:
funnyhow.substack.com
funnyhow.substack.com
You used to have say stuff to someone's face or behind their back. Either of those worked in its own way. Social media has created a new, third path...and it really sucks.
January 6, 2026 at 6:01 PM
You used to have say stuff to someone's face or behind their back. Either of those worked in its own way. Social media has created a new, third path...and it really sucks.
If I understood statistics, I never would have done half the stuff I've done in my life. Maybe even two-thirds. I'm not sure.
January 5, 2026 at 7:33 PM
If I understood statistics, I never would have done half the stuff I've done in my life. Maybe even two-thirds. I'm not sure.
I don’t take any SSRI’s. I have trad brain.
January 5, 2026 at 7:17 PM
I don’t take any SSRI’s. I have trad brain.
He was also just riffing off the top of his head with absolutely zero planning.
January 5, 2026 at 10:03 AM
He was also just riffing off the top of his head with absolutely zero planning.
Coming soon! Sign up here to get my Substack in your inbox: open.substack.com/pub/mattruby...
January 5, 2026 at 5:20 AM
Coming soon! Sign up here to get my Substack in your inbox: open.substack.com/pub/mattruby...
The amount that this AI crap is turning us all into "was this written by AI?" detectives is such a colossal time suck. Every time I get an email or read an essay now, I'm searching for em dashes like I'm prose Columbo .
January 2, 2026 at 9:45 PM
The amount that this AI crap is turning us all into "was this written by AI?" detectives is such a colossal time suck. Every time I get an email or read an essay now, I'm searching for em dashes like I'm prose Columbo .
It's cute that people who watch FOX News think $600 boots are the height of luxury. Oh, honey. Carrie spent $40K on shoes on Sex and the City! Welcome to life not shopping at Kohl's. 👢
January 2, 2026 at 9:01 PM
It's cute that people who watch FOX News think $600 boots are the height of luxury. Oh, honey. Carrie spent $40K on shoes on Sex and the City! Welcome to life not shopping at Kohl's. 👢
meet me in the forest
January 2, 2026 at 5:56 PM
meet me in the forest