Matthew West
@mattwest72.bsky.social
It's a shit business. You'll find out.
A golden gun even. Save on admin
February 11, 2026 at 5:24 PM
A golden gun even. Save on admin
I think news sites should just start reporting on stoned student 3am conversations as if they are news.
"Scott Mooseburger queries whether reality is just, like, something our consciousness perceives; expresses ambition to eat some more of those nachos"
"Scott Mooseburger queries whether reality is just, like, something our consciousness perceives; expresses ambition to eat some more of those nachos"
February 11, 2026 at 2:39 PM
I think news sites should just start reporting on stoned student 3am conversations as if they are news.
"Scott Mooseburger queries whether reality is just, like, something our consciousness perceives; expresses ambition to eat some more of those nachos"
"Scott Mooseburger queries whether reality is just, like, something our consciousness perceives; expresses ambition to eat some more of those nachos"
There's a post credit scene where Simon Jenkins says that now is the time to back him.
February 9, 2026 at 2:44 PM
There's a post credit scene where Simon Jenkins says that now is the time to back him.
But he betrayed his brother so, by extension, could [checks notes] betray his country
February 8, 2026 at 10:11 PM
But he betrayed his brother so, by extension, could [checks notes] betray his country
Well not this half
February 7, 2026 at 6:20 PM
Well not this half
Also a ban on whimsical, 'ooh what am I like?' style packaging, marketing and communication.
February 7, 2026 at 1:30 PM
Also a ban on whimsical, 'ooh what am I like?' style packaging, marketing and communication.
I was very disappointed to read this and find that they weren't injecting Viagra and thinking about sexytime in order to use their tumescence as a stabilizing fin or to generally smooth out airflow to get greater length*
*As it were.
*As it were.
February 5, 2026 at 4:51 PM
I was very disappointed to read this and find that they weren't injecting Viagra and thinking about sexytime in order to use their tumescence as a stabilizing fin or to generally smooth out airflow to get greater length*
*As it were.
*As it were.
So Samson, only with volume and good conditioner instead of just length?
February 3, 2026 at 8:45 PM
So Samson, only with volume and good conditioner instead of just length?
Oh George Best,
You were the best
At football,
But that's not all
Lots of gin you did drink
Which makes me think......etc
You were the best
At football,
But that's not all
Lots of gin you did drink
Which makes me think......etc
February 2, 2026 at 12:45 PM
Oh George Best,
You were the best
At football,
But that's not all
Lots of gin you did drink
Which makes me think......etc
You were the best
At football,
But that's not all
Lots of gin you did drink
Which makes me think......etc
Suddenly missing the poems based entirely on getting the last words of each pair of lines to rhyme
February 2, 2026 at 12:44 PM
Suddenly missing the poems based entirely on getting the last words of each pair of lines to rhyme
A working 1/12 scale model of Stephenson's Rocket, 24 jars of Vegemite and Mesit Özil
February 2, 2026 at 10:45 AM
A working 1/12 scale model of Stephenson's Rocket, 24 jars of Vegemite and Mesit Özil
I'm putting together a team.
Will I be able to claim expenses?
Sure, we'll barely check the claims.
I'm in.
Will I be able to claim expenses?
Sure, we'll barely check the claims.
I'm in.
February 2, 2026 at 9:17 AM
I'm putting together a team.
Will I be able to claim expenses?
Sure, we'll barely check the claims.
I'm in.
Will I be able to claim expenses?
Sure, we'll barely check the claims.
I'm in.
To be fair, I have been exhorting people to refer to you as Dun, and not Twll for some time
January 31, 2026 at 9:12 PM
To be fair, I have been exhorting people to refer to you as Dun, and not Twll for some time
I went into our online grocery order last night and took off the smooth peanut butter, assuming it was added in error and intending to add the crunchy peanut butter we normally get, but:
Forgot to add the crunchy
Have found out this morning, when it was too late, that the smooth was deliberate.
Forgot to add the crunchy
Have found out this morning, when it was too late, that the smooth was deliberate.
January 31, 2026 at 12:22 PM
I went into our online grocery order last night and took off the smooth peanut butter, assuming it was added in error and intending to add the crunchy peanut butter we normally get, but:
Forgot to add the crunchy
Have found out this morning, when it was too late, that the smooth was deliberate.
Forgot to add the crunchy
Have found out this morning, when it was too late, that the smooth was deliberate.
Technically, if less than the full 30 players in an amateur rugby union match are involved in the brawl, they're not deemed to be quorate, so this shouldn't have counted
January 30, 2026 at 9:20 AM
Technically, if less than the full 30 players in an amateur rugby union match are involved in the brawl, they're not deemed to be quorate, so this shouldn't have counted
He's possibly worse at delivering pre scripted jokes than Gordon Brown
January 29, 2026 at 9:38 PM
He's possibly worse at delivering pre scripted jokes than Gordon Brown
I can't believe I paid for this
January 28, 2026 at 1:15 PM
I can't believe I paid for this
This Justin Hammer chap is exactly the sort of anti woke entrepreneur we need!
January 27, 2026 at 10:57 AM
This Justin Hammer chap is exactly the sort of anti woke entrepreneur we need!
Your thinking of fairy bread.
Aren't you?
Aren't you?
January 26, 2026 at 12:12 PM
Your thinking of fairy bread.
Aren't you?
Aren't you?
Just a quick note. Please don't refer to them as "English" breakfasts, as it is very excluding for people from the Isle of Man. Say meat based breakfasts or traditional protein morning feasts
January 26, 2026 at 10:48 AM
Just a quick note. Please don't refer to them as "English" breakfasts, as it is very excluding for people from the Isle of Man. Say meat based breakfasts or traditional protein morning feasts
It's also not well known that Gary Sparrow from Goodnight Sweetheart was in attendance, following a technical issue with his time portal
January 25, 2026 at 12:31 PM
It's also not well known that Gary Sparrow from Goodnight Sweetheart was in attendance, following a technical issue with his time portal
Quick sidebar. Is that supposed to be Trump with him or Henry Winkler?
January 23, 2026 at 8:22 AM
Quick sidebar. Is that supposed to be Trump with him or Henry Winkler?