Max (they/them)
@maxonemillion.bsky.social
2 whole minutes? Yeah I don't think so. I guess I'm just much more efficient than you other hoes, I've NEVER had to brush my teeth for two minutes.
August 22, 2025 at 6:36 AM
2 whole minutes? Yeah I don't think so. I guess I'm just much more efficient than you other hoes, I've NEVER had to brush my teeth for two minutes.
We've known each other for years. I'm so comfortable with you, you've seen the worst and darkest parts of me, and you're still always there for me when I need you. After spending time with you, I always feel like I can take on anything. You're like a douche-nozzle to me 🥹
June 30, 2025 at 9:32 PM
We've known each other for years. I'm so comfortable with you, you've seen the worst and darkest parts of me, and you're still always there for me when I need you. After spending time with you, I always feel like I can take on anything. You're like a douche-nozzle to me 🥹
Flat feet, tight fussy.
High arches, fussy be gaping.
High arches, fussy be gaping.
June 21, 2025 at 8:10 PM
Flat feet, tight fussy.
High arches, fussy be gaping.
High arches, fussy be gaping.
Remember the time before time, when all the world was still a riddle yet to be read from the page, blank beneath God's trembling and hesitating hand?
Pepperidge farm remembers.
Pepperidge farm remembers.
June 20, 2025 at 7:38 PM
Remember the time before time, when all the world was still a riddle yet to be read from the page, blank beneath God's trembling and hesitating hand?
Pepperidge farm remembers.
Pepperidge farm remembers.
My aquarium is lit by a couple different colored lights that I move a little every day so my fish can add astrology to their belief system (I'm their God I assume)
June 17, 2025 at 3:08 PM
My aquarium is lit by a couple different colored lights that I move a little every day so my fish can add astrology to their belief system (I'm their God I assume)
Oh my god no that towering marble sculpture of me is so embarrassing! Destroy it immediately I'm being serious 🫣😝
June 12, 2025 at 3:55 PM
Oh my god no that towering marble sculpture of me is so embarrassing! Destroy it immediately I'm being serious 🫣😝
*changes grindr profile to
"Just Married" *
"Just Married" *
June 10, 2025 at 8:12 PM
*changes grindr profile to
"Just Married" *
"Just Married" *
Bad Bunny got them bike messenger lesbian tattoos and that's even better than the overstuffed tightie whiteys FOR ME.
May 26, 2025 at 1:37 AM
Bad Bunny got them bike messenger lesbian tattoos and that's even better than the overstuffed tightie whiteys FOR ME.
When I see a regular spider: momentary paralysis, verbal convulsions, adrenaline spike. "Omg omg pls don't be one of those spiders that jumps"
When I see an actual jumping spider: 🥹aww heyy little buddy!!✨✨✨ *Leans in close* "can you see my face as clearly as I can see your face?" *Kisses forehead*
When I see an actual jumping spider: 🥹aww heyy little buddy!!✨✨✨ *Leans in close* "can you see my face as clearly as I can see your face?" *Kisses forehead*
May 24, 2025 at 6:03 PM
When I see a regular spider: momentary paralysis, verbal convulsions, adrenaline spike. "Omg omg pls don't be one of those spiders that jumps"
When I see an actual jumping spider: 🥹aww heyy little buddy!!✨✨✨ *Leans in close* "can you see my face as clearly as I can see your face?" *Kisses forehead*
When I see an actual jumping spider: 🥹aww heyy little buddy!!✨✨✨ *Leans in close* "can you see my face as clearly as I can see your face?" *Kisses forehead*
POKÉMON ARE MY SPECIAL INTEREST AND GREATEST PASSION AND I HAVE NEVER VISUALLY RECOGNIZED A SINGLE POKÉMON I'VE ENCOUNTERED.
-Ash Ketchum
-Ash Ketchum
May 2, 2025 at 11:01 PM
POKÉMON ARE MY SPECIAL INTEREST AND GREATEST PASSION AND I HAVE NEVER VISUALLY RECOGNIZED A SINGLE POKÉMON I'VE ENCOUNTERED.
-Ash Ketchum
-Ash Ketchum
Reposted by Max (they/them)
Reposted by Max (they/them)
I have a Ninetales who gets hurt on purpose because she's addicted to hyperpotions.
May 1, 2025 at 6:10 AM
I have a Ninetales who gets hurt on purpose because she's addicted to hyperpotions.
People really act like slavery ended because a white president had a change of heart. Slavery didn't end because of Abraham Lincoln. Slavery didn't end.
April 30, 2025 at 1:42 PM
People really act like slavery ended because a white president had a change of heart. Slavery didn't end because of Abraham Lincoln. Slavery didn't end.
To be clear this is not a Lorde fan account, this is a Worm fan account and I tweet a lot about Lorde bc i just so happen to believe that Lorde is who Taylor Hebert retired as in our reality. Worm ends and then Lorde's discography begins, and it's the same protagonist. I have evidence
April 28, 2025 at 5:21 AM
To be clear this is not a Lorde fan account, this is a Worm fan account and I tweet a lot about Lorde bc i just so happen to believe that Lorde is who Taylor Hebert retired as in our reality. Worm ends and then Lorde's discography begins, and it's the same protagonist. I have evidence
Wait shit I was literally in the forest today and I was like DON'T FORGET but I was so into the majesty of the moment and all that shit that I forgot to record a really funny Lorde related video and nobody better steal my idea until I get to do it
April 28, 2025 at 5:14 AM
Wait shit I was literally in the forest today and I was like DON'T FORGET but I was so into the majesty of the moment and all that shit that I forgot to record a really funny Lorde related video and nobody better steal my idea until I get to do it
It's called #damponing and what you do is you get a tampon and you get it damp...
April 26, 2025 at 4:11 AM
It's called #damponing and what you do is you get a tampon and you get it damp...
It's like, Lorde did the drugs so that we don't have to.
April 25, 2025 at 10:57 PM
It's like, Lorde did the drugs so that we don't have to.
My partner is drawing me a bath and it's going to be cold by the time I walk home from whatever parking spot I eventually find
April 25, 2025 at 2:36 AM
My partner is drawing me a bath and it's going to be cold by the time I walk home from whatever parking spot I eventually find
Haven't any of you Neanderthals heard of Lyft or Uber? I've been looking for a parking spot for half a fucking hour a bitch wants to get home from work at some point
April 25, 2025 at 2:36 AM
Haven't any of you Neanderthals heard of Lyft or Uber? I've been looking for a parking spot for half a fucking hour a bitch wants to get home from work at some point
Popularize the opinion and spread the word that if you drive to a concert venue and park in front of somebody's fucking house you're a piece of shit and I hate you
April 25, 2025 at 2:35 AM
Popularize the opinion and spread the word that if you drive to a concert venue and park in front of somebody's fucking house you're a piece of shit and I hate you
Last night while I was riding my top said I was like something out of a hentai comic so. ✨
April 22, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Last night while I was riding my top said I was like something out of a hentai comic so. ✨
I'll punch God, I'm not afraid to hit a girl.
April 19, 2025 at 12:32 AM
I'll punch God, I'm not afraid to hit a girl.
I don't like being sick but I do like getting to drink orange potion
April 11, 2025 at 8:18 PM
I don't like being sick but I do like getting to drink orange potion