Max (they/them)
maxonemillion.bsky.social
Max (they/them)
@maxonemillion.bsky.social
2 whole minutes? Yeah I don't think so. I guess I'm just much more efficient than you other hoes, I've NEVER had to brush my teeth for two minutes.
August 22, 2025 at 6:36 AM
God Emeritus
July 17, 2025 at 8:04 PM
We've known each other for years. I'm so comfortable with you, you've seen the worst and darkest parts of me, and you're still always there for me when I need you. After spending time with you, I always feel like I can take on anything. You're like a douche-nozzle to me 🥹
June 30, 2025 at 9:32 PM
Flat feet, tight fussy.
High arches, fussy be gaping.
June 21, 2025 at 8:10 PM
Remember the time before time, when all the world was still a riddle yet to be read from the page, blank beneath God's trembling and hesitating hand?

Pepperidge farm remembers.
June 20, 2025 at 7:38 PM
My aquarium is lit by a couple different colored lights that I move a little every day so my fish can add astrology to their belief system (I'm their God I assume)
June 17, 2025 at 3:08 PM
Oh my god no that towering marble sculpture of me is so embarrassing! Destroy it immediately I'm being serious 🫣😝
June 12, 2025 at 3:55 PM
*changes grindr profile to
"Just Married" *
June 10, 2025 at 8:12 PM
Bad Bunny got them bike messenger lesbian tattoos and that's even better than the overstuffed tightie whiteys FOR ME.
May 26, 2025 at 1:37 AM
When I see a regular spider: momentary paralysis, verbal convulsions, adrenaline spike. "Omg omg pls don't be one of those spiders that jumps"

When I see an actual jumping spider: 🥹aww heyy little buddy!!✨✨✨ *Leans in close* "can you see my face as clearly as I can see your face?" *Kisses forehead*
May 24, 2025 at 6:03 PM
POKÉMON ARE MY SPECIAL INTEREST AND GREATEST PASSION AND I HAVE NEVER VISUALLY RECOGNIZED A SINGLE POKÉMON I'VE ENCOUNTERED.
-Ash Ketchum
May 2, 2025 at 11:01 PM
Reposted by Max (they/them)
Gone Fishing
May 2, 2025 at 9:18 PM
Reposted by Max (they/them)
May 1, 2025 at 4:51 PM
I have a Ninetales who gets hurt on purpose because she's addicted to hyperpotions.
May 1, 2025 at 6:10 AM
People really act like slavery ended because a white president had a change of heart. Slavery didn't end because of Abraham Lincoln. Slavery didn't end.
April 30, 2025 at 1:42 PM
To be clear this is not a Lorde fan account, this is a Worm fan account and I tweet a lot about Lorde bc i just so happen to believe that Lorde is who Taylor Hebert retired as in our reality. Worm ends and then Lorde's discography begins, and it's the same protagonist. I have evidence
April 28, 2025 at 5:21 AM
Wait shit I was literally in the forest today and I was like DON'T FORGET but I was so into the majesty of the moment and all that shit that I forgot to record a really funny Lorde related video and nobody better steal my idea until I get to do it
April 28, 2025 at 5:14 AM
It's called #damponing and what you do is you get a tampon and you get it damp...
April 26, 2025 at 4:11 AM
It's like, Lorde did the drugs so that we don't have to.
April 25, 2025 at 10:57 PM
My partner is drawing me a bath and it's going to be cold by the time I walk home from whatever parking spot I eventually find
April 25, 2025 at 2:36 AM
Haven't any of you Neanderthals heard of Lyft or Uber? I've been looking for a parking spot for half a fucking hour a bitch wants to get home from work at some point
April 25, 2025 at 2:36 AM
Popularize the opinion and spread the word that if you drive to a concert venue and park in front of somebody's fucking house you're a piece of shit and I hate you
April 25, 2025 at 2:35 AM
Last night while I was riding my top said I was like something out of a hentai comic so. ✨
April 22, 2025 at 7:02 PM
I'll punch God, I'm not afraid to hit a girl.
April 19, 2025 at 12:32 AM
I don't like being sick but I do like getting to drink orange potion
April 11, 2025 at 8:18 PM