Beanie
@meanbeanie.bsky.social
Internet dipshit, full time complainer, not to be taken seriously. If I'm on here I'm probably procrastinating.
This place will be an ungodly disorganized mashup of writing and Wheel of Time
This place will be an ungodly disorganized mashup of writing and Wheel of Time
which is fine enough for me to get through most of the work day without panicking to my boss about something so that's improvement
but it's useless for when i get home and can't bring myself to cook. not to mention, well, feeling like there's no point in writing so i don't and then i feel guilty
but it's useless for when i get home and can't bring myself to cook. not to mention, well, feeling like there's no point in writing so i don't and then i feel guilty
December 16, 2025 at 3:20 PM
which is fine enough for me to get through most of the work day without panicking to my boss about something so that's improvement
but it's useless for when i get home and can't bring myself to cook. not to mention, well, feeling like there's no point in writing so i don't and then i feel guilty
but it's useless for when i get home and can't bring myself to cook. not to mention, well, feeling like there's no point in writing so i don't and then i feel guilty
it's okay, no worries i didn't expect a response at all
if it's not a lack of discipline though then it has to be that i just don't enjoy writing and i'm the only one that doesn't see it
people who like writing either do it because they want to, or they can knuckle down. i'm neither. which sucks
if it's not a lack of discipline though then it has to be that i just don't enjoy writing and i'm the only one that doesn't see it
people who like writing either do it because they want to, or they can knuckle down. i'm neither. which sucks
December 16, 2025 at 1:39 AM
it's okay, no worries i didn't expect a response at all
if it's not a lack of discipline though then it has to be that i just don't enjoy writing and i'm the only one that doesn't see it
people who like writing either do it because they want to, or they can knuckle down. i'm neither. which sucks
if it's not a lack of discipline though then it has to be that i just don't enjoy writing and i'm the only one that doesn't see it
people who like writing either do it because they want to, or they can knuckle down. i'm neither. which sucks
yeah. i shouldn't need encouragement though. that's another thing that's been bugging me the last week. everyone on my feed LOVES writing for its own sake and enjoys it, and i don't. if i need encouragement i can't possibly like writing? that's why i barely do it. because i probably don't want to.
December 16, 2025 at 1:37 AM
yeah. i shouldn't need encouragement though. that's another thing that's been bugging me the last week. everyone on my feed LOVES writing for its own sake and enjoys it, and i don't. if i need encouragement i can't possibly like writing? that's why i barely do it. because i probably don't want to.
i haven't achieved more than many though? i'm about on par with all the teens on reddit who go "lol i want to write a book!" and then spin out, just worldbuild, just yap about their characters, and have nothing to show and never will
which is embarrassing for me, age 29, with a creative writing BA
which is embarrassing for me, age 29, with a creative writing BA
December 16, 2025 at 12:49 AM
i haven't achieved more than many though? i'm about on par with all the teens on reddit who go "lol i want to write a book!" and then spin out, just worldbuild, just yap about their characters, and have nothing to show and never will
which is embarrassing for me, age 29, with a creative writing BA
which is embarrassing for me, age 29, with a creative writing BA
i'm on track to finish in about 4
well. i quit because several people here told me i don't like writing and gave me permission to so moot point
but id have written it in 4 years and it would read like a zero draft i wrote in a month. which. yeah. largely contributing to me giving up
well. i quit because several people here told me i don't like writing and gave me permission to so moot point
but id have written it in 4 years and it would read like a zero draft i wrote in a month. which. yeah. largely contributing to me giving up
December 16, 2025 at 12:33 AM
i'm on track to finish in about 4
well. i quit because several people here told me i don't like writing and gave me permission to so moot point
but id have written it in 4 years and it would read like a zero draft i wrote in a month. which. yeah. largely contributing to me giving up
well. i quit because several people here told me i don't like writing and gave me permission to so moot point
but id have written it in 4 years and it would read like a zero draft i wrote in a month. which. yeah. largely contributing to me giving up
i appreciate the pep talk but the rush job quality / skeleton yall are taking about is exactly what i'm talking about, that takes me a full day for 200 words and 1.5 years and counting on only half a draft
so, unfortunately doesn't really apply to my current sitch
so, unfortunately doesn't really apply to my current sitch
December 16, 2025 at 12:27 AM
i appreciate the pep talk but the rush job quality / skeleton yall are taking about is exactly what i'm talking about, that takes me a full day for 200 words and 1.5 years and counting on only half a draft
so, unfortunately doesn't really apply to my current sitch
so, unfortunately doesn't really apply to my current sitch
okay so what do we do when i'm drafting incredibly slowly (years on draft one) and it's about the quality you'd expect for a rush job
i'm not slow because i labour. i'm slow because i get bored and give up quickly. it's slow but it IS a half assed rush job
the worst of both worlds
i'm not slow because i labour. i'm slow because i get bored and give up quickly. it's slow but it IS a half assed rush job
the worst of both worlds
December 16, 2025 at 12:12 AM
okay so what do we do when i'm drafting incredibly slowly (years on draft one) and it's about the quality you'd expect for a rush job
i'm not slow because i labour. i'm slow because i get bored and give up quickly. it's slow but it IS a half assed rush job
the worst of both worlds
i'm not slow because i labour. i'm slow because i get bored and give up quickly. it's slow but it IS a half assed rush job
the worst of both worlds
if these were polished drats, fine
but im going WAY slower than any serious writer ever should and i guarantee you its worse quality than the 2 month rushed drafts everyone in the replies is doing
fast and bad is fine. slow and polished is fine
slow and shit isnt
but im going WAY slower than any serious writer ever should and i guarantee you its worse quality than the 2 month rushed drafts everyone in the replies is doing
fast and bad is fine. slow and polished is fine
slow and shit isnt
December 16, 2025 at 12:10 AM
if these were polished drats, fine
but im going WAY slower than any serious writer ever should and i guarantee you its worse quality than the 2 month rushed drafts everyone in the replies is doing
fast and bad is fine. slow and polished is fine
slow and shit isnt
but im going WAY slower than any serious writer ever should and i guarantee you its worse quality than the 2 month rushed drafts everyone in the replies is doing
fast and bad is fine. slow and polished is fine
slow and shit isnt
still far ahead of me. the quickest i've ever drafted is 7 months and that's when i actually had a writing group and schedule and accountability
otherwise? my benchmark is 9 years for 60k / halfway done
and almost a year on 20k of a novella. 1.5 years for half a novel. not good enough
otherwise? my benchmark is 9 years for 60k / halfway done
and almost a year on 20k of a novella. 1.5 years for half a novel. not good enough
December 16, 2025 at 12:09 AM
still far ahead of me. the quickest i've ever drafted is 7 months and that's when i actually had a writing group and schedule and accountability
otherwise? my benchmark is 9 years for 60k / halfway done
and almost a year on 20k of a novella. 1.5 years for half a novel. not good enough
otherwise? my benchmark is 9 years for 60k / halfway done
and almost a year on 20k of a novella. 1.5 years for half a novel. not good enough
give advice if you want, but i've heard it all before, and the more people try telling me stuff i already knew and tried and failed at, the more i just feel affirmed that i'm not good enough, i can't do this, and i'll never be good enough and never do it
but you're good, i don't mind the jump in
but you're good, i don't mind the jump in
December 15, 2025 at 11:48 PM
give advice if you want, but i've heard it all before, and the more people try telling me stuff i already knew and tried and failed at, the more i just feel affirmed that i'm not good enough, i can't do this, and i'll never be good enough and never do it
but you're good, i don't mind the jump in
but you're good, i don't mind the jump in
you're okay
it's not that i hate it, it's that i'm not capable of sticking with it when it gets hard or when i don't know what to write next (my brain just shuts down) and even when it's easy i only focus for like 2 seconds
i'm lazy and lack discipline and can't keep up habits. that's all it is.
it's not that i hate it, it's that i'm not capable of sticking with it when it gets hard or when i don't know what to write next (my brain just shuts down) and even when it's easy i only focus for like 2 seconds
i'm lazy and lack discipline and can't keep up habits. that's all it is.
December 15, 2025 at 11:48 PM
you're okay
it's not that i hate it, it's that i'm not capable of sticking with it when it gets hard or when i don't know what to write next (my brain just shuts down) and even when it's easy i only focus for like 2 seconds
i'm lazy and lack discipline and can't keep up habits. that's all it is.
it's not that i hate it, it's that i'm not capable of sticking with it when it gets hard or when i don't know what to write next (my brain just shuts down) and even when it's easy i only focus for like 2 seconds
i'm lazy and lack discipline and can't keep up habits. that's all it is.
and again — i'm not a "fucking around hobbyist so nothing matters so long as i'm having fun" person
going one day without writing or writing less than 2k is unacceptable and unprofessional, let alone weeks
going one day without writing or writing less than 2k is unacceptable and unprofessional, let alone weeks
December 15, 2025 at 10:12 PM
and again — i'm not a "fucking around hobbyist so nothing matters so long as i'm having fun" person
going one day without writing or writing less than 2k is unacceptable and unprofessional, let alone weeks
going one day without writing or writing less than 2k is unacceptable and unprofessional, let alone weeks
of course you dont have to like every part of the process
you're allowed to not like editing. you're allowed to not like querying. or marketing
but writing? if you don't like writing why are you writing that's the WHOLE THING
you're allowed to not like editing. you're allowed to not like querying. or marketing
but writing? if you don't like writing why are you writing that's the WHOLE THING
December 15, 2025 at 10:12 PM
of course you dont have to like every part of the process
you're allowed to not like editing. you're allowed to not like querying. or marketing
but writing? if you don't like writing why are you writing that's the WHOLE THING
you're allowed to not like editing. you're allowed to not like querying. or marketing
but writing? if you don't like writing why are you writing that's the WHOLE THING
i don't have that spark
and i'm having a really, really tough time accepting that they're right, that i don't like writing
if i only like it sometimes, i don't like it at all. if it takes all day for 200 words, i don't like it at all
i'm just. idk. i wish it were different because i want this
and i'm having a really, really tough time accepting that they're right, that i don't like writing
if i only like it sometimes, i don't like it at all. if it takes all day for 200 words, i don't like it at all
i'm just. idk. i wish it were different because i want this
December 15, 2025 at 10:06 PM
i don't have that spark
and i'm having a really, really tough time accepting that they're right, that i don't like writing
if i only like it sometimes, i don't like it at all. if it takes all day for 200 words, i don't like it at all
i'm just. idk. i wish it were different because i want this
and i'm having a really, really tough time accepting that they're right, that i don't like writing
if i only like it sometimes, i don't like it at all. if it takes all day for 200 words, i don't like it at all
i'm just. idk. i wish it were different because i want this
that's why people have assessed i don't like writing and i'm just in denial
because they can do it. they don't struggle. they find it easy. they can write every day. why wouldn't they? it's fun! they live and breathe writing! of COURSE they're excited to do it every day
because they can do it. they don't struggle. they find it easy. they can write every day. why wouldn't they? it's fun! they live and breathe writing! of COURSE they're excited to do it every day
December 15, 2025 at 10:06 PM
that's why people have assessed i don't like writing and i'm just in denial
because they can do it. they don't struggle. they find it easy. they can write every day. why wouldn't they? it's fun! they live and breathe writing! of COURSE they're excited to do it every day
because they can do it. they don't struggle. they find it easy. they can write every day. why wouldn't they? it's fun! they live and breathe writing! of COURSE they're excited to do it every day
and at best, i have "i like how it feels when i get a scene out of my head and it feels more real and not like i'm uselessly daydreaming" and i have "sometimes i'm motivated and inspired and i can churn out a lot of words in one sitting"
but that's not everyone else on this app
but that's not everyone else on this app
December 15, 2025 at 10:06 PM
and at best, i have "i like how it feels when i get a scene out of my head and it feels more real and not like i'm uselessly daydreaming" and i have "sometimes i'm motivated and inspired and i can churn out a lot of words in one sitting"
but that's not everyone else on this app
but that's not everyone else on this app
everyone in the bluesky writing community has made it very clear they find writing SO fun. SO easy to get words on the page. everyone here can draft a book in like two months because of course why shouldn't they be able to do 2k words a day!!
December 15, 2025 at 10:06 PM
everyone in the bluesky writing community has made it very clear they find writing SO fun. SO easy to get words on the page. everyone here can draft a book in like two months because of course why shouldn't they be able to do 2k words a day!!
i want to write *now* even. but i'm not. because i don't know where to start and i'm too lazy and undisciplined to figure it out
scenes and sentences don't flow for me like they do everyone here
nobody who likes writing struggles with it. or at least they have no problem doing it every day anyway
scenes and sentences don't flow for me like they do everyone here
nobody who likes writing struggles with it. or at least they have no problem doing it every day anyway
December 15, 2025 at 10:06 PM
i want to write *now* even. but i'm not. because i don't know where to start and i'm too lazy and undisciplined to figure it out
scenes and sentences don't flow for me like they do everyone here
nobody who likes writing struggles with it. or at least they have no problem doing it every day anyway
scenes and sentences don't flow for me like they do everyone here
nobody who likes writing struggles with it. or at least they have no problem doing it every day anyway
that's what people here have told me. people who like writing don't take breaks. they don't talk about writing more than they write. they actually WRITE because it's what they want to spend every second of their free time doing
they don't have to dedicate a time to get off youtube to write. i do
they don't have to dedicate a time to get off youtube to write. i do
December 15, 2025 at 10:06 PM
that's what people here have told me. people who like writing don't take breaks. they don't talk about writing more than they write. they actually WRITE because it's what they want to spend every second of their free time doing
they don't have to dedicate a time to get off youtube to write. i do
they don't have to dedicate a time to get off youtube to write. i do
but i do still like it. or. want to? i'll want to write, but then i open scriv and i just... don't. or i get distracted after 5 minutes. or i can't phrase a sentence / write a bad one and i shut it down
if you only like writing when you're motivated and it's easy, you don't like writing
if you only like writing when you're motivated and it's easy, you don't like writing
December 15, 2025 at 10:06 PM
but i do still like it. or. want to? i'll want to write, but then i open scriv and i just... don't. or i get distracted after 5 minutes. or i can't phrase a sentence / write a bad one and i shut it down
if you only like writing when you're motivated and it's easy, you don't like writing
if you only like writing when you're motivated and it's easy, you don't like writing
on the other hand the people who are so nicely and delicately and gently trying to tell me i have permission to quit are saying that because THEY like the process. they think make is a pro
as they should. if you don't like something don't do it and so many here have told me not to and they're right
as they should. if you don't like something don't do it and so many here have told me not to and they're right
December 15, 2025 at 9:45 PM
on the other hand the people who are so nicely and delicately and gently trying to tell me i have permission to quit are saying that because THEY like the process. they think make is a pro
as they should. if you don't like something don't do it and so many here have told me not to and they're right
as they should. if you don't like something don't do it and so many here have told me not to and they're right