This Saturday #UTV

And the same to you! 🎄🎁

Sometimes I wake up in a cold sweat and have to double check.

www.isthatcherdeadyet.co.uk

Already in talks for a talented young player?

Sofo so good 🤞

Well once you get the Millenium Falcon there can no longer be any other other 'big' Christmas presents. They shall live forever in its shadow. Consider that over your carrots and parsecs later.

I was paying for my Christmas tree, he asked, “Are you going to put that up yourself?”

I said, “No, I’m putting it up in the living room.”

Someone got Stevie Wonder a cheesegrater for Christmas. He said it was the most violent booke he's ever read.

Did you hear about the criminal who got sentenced for stealing an advent calendar?

He got 25 days.

An man dies on Christmas Eve and arrives at the Pearly gates. "To get into heaven," St. Peter says, "You must have something on you that represents Christmas."

The man pulls out a G-string and a bra. St. Peter asks "how they represent Christmas?"

To which the man replies, "They're Carols!"

What do you call an old snowman?

Water.

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

A Mince Spy

What's the difference between Santa and a dog?

Santa wear a big red suit, the dog just pants.

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

Look for the Fresh Prints

How do snowmen travel around?

By icicle.