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metboy.bsky.social
@metboy.bsky.social
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metboy.bsky.social
A miserable little pile of vocab!
January 2, 2026 at 11:31 PM
Reposted
cpsc.gov
Blackheart the Conqueror will return in Consumer Product Safety Commission: Social Media Accounts #BestOf2025
A knight named Blackheart the Conqueror in all-black armor with horns and the face of a monster. Their eyes are glowing red. They are chasing after their two pet dogs which are very cute. In the background is their home with a castle and in-ground pool. The pool has a four-sided fence. Blackheart shouts, “Good girl, Scrapheap! Keep going! James! Play nice!” The text reads: Blackheart the conqueror is having a great summer! He’s got a fence around the pool and knows it will keep kids safe from drowning. Fences should be at least 4 feet high, not climbable, and surround the pool. The pool should only be accessible through a self-closing, self-latching gate. Install a door alarm from the house to the pool. A woman walking in the country while looking at her phone. Behind her is a heard of tarantulas. She has no idea. The text reads: Are you unwittingly leading a heard of goats? Put your phone away! Distracted walking sends people to the ER every year. Who knows what kind of power a human being leading tarantulas can amass. We don't even want to think about it. A father and son sailing on the ocean. They are riding on a platter of a whole cooked turkey. The sea is stormy, and the sky is grey. A smoke alarm light house is in the distance. Fire extinguisher birds sail overhead. A smaller boat of CPSC safety characters sails nearby. The son says, "I'm getting us to Thanksgiving, Dad." The father replies, "I'm proud of you, son! This bird smells amazing." The text reads: Had that dream again last night where dad was proud of me for sailing the Thanksgiving turkey home. Stand by your pan. There are more home fires on Thanksgiving than any other day of the year. A pink alien planet where a white castle floats in a moon. A knight with a space heater for a helmet bends on one knee in front of his princess. He hands her a carbon monoxide alarm and a smoke alarm and says, “Milady”. In the background, Potato the dog and Copernicus Jackson the cat watch breathless. Potato says, “I think romance is still alive.” Copernicus tearfully replies, “I think you’re right.” The text reads: Love is about keeping her safe. Make sure there are working smoke alarms in every bedroom. Make sure there are also working smoke/carbon monoxide alarms on every level of the home and outside sleeping areas.
December 31, 2025 at 6:47 PM