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Miiiiiiike
@mikeormoshe.bsky.social
· Jan 18
How to find out if you’re talking to a 5 year old; get them to say ‘sour cream,’ dead fucking giveaway
If I had a bank, I would just give 10k to ten account holders each month so vote for me for bankman
April 25, 2025 at 11:06 PM
If I had a bank, I would just give 10k to ten account holders each month so vote for me for bankman
ngl all of a sudden super h*rny for space women
April 17, 2025 at 2:54 AM
ngl all of a sudden super h*rny for space women
In my dreams last night, I had an emotional support puddle of benzene…no telling how that would be transported
April 7, 2025 at 12:02 AM
In my dreams last night, I had an emotional support puddle of benzene…no telling how that would be transported
“As you can imagine, young Jesus Christ did not have a normal upbringing”—the GG Allin doc I’m watching
March 29, 2025 at 6:06 AM
“As you can imagine, young Jesus Christ did not have a normal upbringing”—the GG Allin doc I’m watching
Working on a noir detective novel, gonna call it Mr. Potato Head and the Dead City Heat
March 25, 2025 at 12:53 AM
Working on a noir detective novel, gonna call it Mr. Potato Head and the Dead City Heat
It’s every young person’s dream to go to chocolate bar camp, they also have ice cream sandwiches there
March 23, 2025 at 5:50 AM
It’s every young person’s dream to go to chocolate bar camp, they also have ice cream sandwiches there
Watching my 32nd Hong Sang-Soo film today, and yes, just as you guessed, alone
March 16, 2025 at 1:10 PM
Watching my 32nd Hong Sang-Soo film today, and yes, just as you guessed, alone
Continually embarrassed; when will I ever learn? The dress code?!? I keep showing up to the black tie event wearing nothing but charcuterie
March 16, 2025 at 1:09 PM
Continually embarrassed; when will I ever learn? The dress code?!? I keep showing up to the black tie event wearing nothing but charcuterie
The vegan burrito gardens of the neighbourhood are no longer safe
March 13, 2025 at 10:43 PM
The vegan burrito gardens of the neighbourhood are no longer safe
Me: [at the restaurant, bathed in soup, looking rather pleased w/myself, noticing the horror in your gaze] this is why I don’t wear white
March 13, 2025 at 2:22 AM
Me: [at the restaurant, bathed in soup, looking rather pleased w/myself, noticing the horror in your gaze] this is why I don’t wear white
Went to a restaurant this weekend and a friend served me, felt just like I was in the movies!
March 6, 2025 at 4:14 AM
Went to a restaurant this weekend and a friend served me, felt just like I was in the movies!
Torontomans reintegration into society plot, point 72:
Instead of saying, “YO CRODIE—YR GRANDMA’S THA THROAT GOAT”
Say, “hello sir, your grandmother is unparalleled in the art of fellatio”
Instead of saying, “YO CRODIE—YR GRANDMA’S THA THROAT GOAT”
Say, “hello sir, your grandmother is unparalleled in the art of fellatio”
February 28, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Torontomans reintegration into society plot, point 72:
Instead of saying, “YO CRODIE—YR GRANDMA’S THA THROAT GOAT”
Say, “hello sir, your grandmother is unparalleled in the art of fellatio”
Instead of saying, “YO CRODIE—YR GRANDMA’S THA THROAT GOAT”
Say, “hello sir, your grandmother is unparalleled in the art of fellatio”
All you gotta do is rearrange the letters, the man’s real name is Lone Skum #themoreyouknow #incelalert
February 25, 2025 at 2:06 PM
All you gotta do is rearrange the letters, the man’s real name is Lone Skum #themoreyouknow #incelalert
@flavorflav.bsky.social hey how do you REALLY feel about daylight savings time?
February 25, 2025 at 1:34 PM
@flavorflav.bsky.social hey how do you REALLY feel about daylight savings time?
I would like to be woken up by a cute kitten dropping a couple crisp hundreds onto my chest but I’ll take eTransfer as well 🐈
February 25, 2025 at 10:59 AM
I would like to be woken up by a cute kitten dropping a couple crisp hundreds onto my chest but I’ll take eTransfer as well 🐈
If pepper spray is illegal, then surely leper spray should be as well. Only a certified professional should administer the leprosy spray
February 25, 2025 at 10:37 AM
If pepper spray is illegal, then surely leper spray should be as well. Only a certified professional should administer the leprosy spray
Like origami paper to an armless man, these are the days of our lives
February 24, 2025 at 11:52 PM
Like origami paper to an armless man, these are the days of our lives
Today on Pie Thoughts: could really go for a Saskatoon berry pie, but you know somethin’ folks, I gotta admit I’ve never tried huckleberry…are they similar? Have a magical Monday mfers✨🌴✨
February 24, 2025 at 11:17 PM
Today on Pie Thoughts: could really go for a Saskatoon berry pie, but you know somethin’ folks, I gotta admit I’ve never tried huckleberry…are they similar? Have a magical Monday mfers✨🌴✨
Ah dreamland, where I’m a flying samouraï, desperately seeking a urinal
February 24, 2025 at 10:06 AM
Ah dreamland, where I’m a flying samouraï, desperately seeking a urinal
Once I’m on death row, I’ll instantly put in my request for last meal
February 24, 2025 at 1:26 AM
Once I’m on death row, I’ll instantly put in my request for last meal
Full disclosure, to my 22 followers…I have been using performance enhancers to create these gems hmu if you need to get loud🥬🥬
February 24, 2025 at 12:53 AM
Full disclosure, to my 22 followers…I have been using performance enhancers to create these gems hmu if you need to get loud🥬🥬
Did I just dream up Cookie Water™️? If it already exists EWW
February 23, 2025 at 9:15 PM
Did I just dream up Cookie Water™️? If it already exists EWW
One good thing about the past is all those pies…boy we sure had some good ones, key lime, cherry, lemon meringue…where did they all go?!
February 23, 2025 at 9:43 AM
One good thing about the past is all those pies…boy we sure had some good ones, key lime, cherry, lemon meringue…where did they all go?!
Alas, at times sleeping ‘twixt nine pillows and two comely courtesans doth no longer suffice; I am in need of greater comfort to stave off the gnawing of solitude
February 22, 2025 at 10:37 PM
Alas, at times sleeping ‘twixt nine pillows and two comely courtesans doth no longer suffice; I am in need of greater comfort to stave off the gnawing of solitude
New destination: any timeline where the spork is more popular and I have a full set of genitals
February 22, 2025 at 11:29 AM
New destination: any timeline where the spork is more popular and I have a full set of genitals